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Going from Soft to Full Swap : Swingers Discussion 40475
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TOPIC: Going from Soft to Full Swap
Created by: DANANDFDN
Original Starting post for this thread:
I do not think my husband and I are ready for Full Swap yet, but was wondering how long did you wait (if you waited) to go from Soft to Full Swap. On a personal note: the replys that I received on my other topics were very helpful - thanks again.

Stay warm and be happy, Dave and Fran

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Have no idea how we were labeled our first year. Normally I am the type that jumps in with both feet never to look back at a decision whether its good or bad.It does no one any good to go back on what they have done or said as long as you learn lessons. With swing we started our first year doing nothing at all but ourselves.We went to parties, clubs both on and off premise ,party hosues. We watched peoples actions and reactions to see what was the norm what was abnormal , the dos and don'ts. To us this was valueable way of starting , it gave us time to think of exactly what we wanted needed and desired. This allowed us the luxary of knowing what to ask each other , what to expect how we wanted to act and what we wanted to get from this. We liked the freedoms it gave us with one another , how it opened our minds to one another. Its been a great 7 years plus

Sarasota FL
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We never labeled our selves to soft or full. We simply just went with what we were comfy with. We knew we were interested in the lifestyle and just started meeting people and taking things from there. Funny thing is when we met the right couple we knew we were a full swap couple. It just felt right to us and we have never looked back. And even if you do label yourself into a catagory in time things do change. :-)

Rumford ME
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go with what is most comfortable in your own relationship.like what most everyone is telling you what others have done or will do have onthing to do with anything its totally what you two decide to do and when

Sarasota FL
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Hmmm, VaLovers, like much of what you said. But since Sirg G has always been a "sinker" and not a "floater" but can still swim like a fish, maybe the analogy needs tweaking! LOL

We fit your description though. As HS Sweethearts who lost our virginity on our wedding night, we have chosen to reserve intercourse for each other, while at the same time reserving the right to discuss and renegotiate with each other, but NOT in the heat of the moment.

Bethpage TN
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Dave and Fran,

There is NO "right answer" to your question, except the answer that works best for YOU! What other people do or have done is really not what matters, since you are a unique couple with your own unique relationship, comfort levels, feelings, and desires.

There are so many factors that enter into this. For example, 30-year-old couples who were high school sweethearts and until now have been "one and only" to each other may have more difficulty going to full swap than couples in their mid-40s who have been divorced, had a few sex partners between marriages, and then married each other with full knowledge that "one and only" isn't important to them, and in fact is impossible.

I think that soft swap is to full swap as "floating" is to "swimming." It may be a very appropriate way to begin getting comfortable with swinging without pushing you to step too far outside your comfort zones.

Just keep talking to each other about your swinging experiences and what you like, don't like, and what causes you any anxiety or fear or discomfort about the whole thing. In time you may feel like going to full swap. If you do, go at your own pace, when YOU feel ready to handle it. And full swap isn't for everyone who swings, either, so don't feel compelled to go that route if you don't want to.

Jim

South Riding VA
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That's excellent advice hedons.

Center Valley PA
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I do not think my husband and I are ready for Full Swap yet, but was wondering how long did you wait (if you waited) to go from Soft to Full Swap. On a personal note: the replys that I received on my other topics were very helpful - thanks again.

Stay warm and be happy, Dave and Fran

Elmer NJ
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TOPIC: Going from Soft to Full Swap