Frustrated: Swingers Discussion 2126101011

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Frustrated: Swingers Discussion 2126101011

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TOPIC: Frustrated

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User Details are only visible to members.	join the club. we were looking to play this weekend and put it in our profile the excite date we where free. we recieved around 30 e-mails in the last two weeks and found 4 couples and 4 single males that looked compatible. one couple turned in to a nut case, 2 never wrote back after we responded to them and one said they would let us know but have now disappeared. Out of the single males who wrote to us first by the way. 2 turned around and said they couldn't play on that day and time but wanted to know if we could play on another day. two just disappeared.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2188 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I'd suspect that the 'couples' you crossed paths with were either picture collectors (if they asked for and received pics of you), SM's masquerading as a cpl, a married man sneaking around on his wife, or someone getting kicks by pretending to be swingers but who will never actually meet or swing.
Fairview Heights IL			Username hidden (628 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Keep in mind the 4 P's of swinging... Pussy, Penis, Patience & Persistence: We're all looking for pussy or penis, you just gotta have the patience and persistence to find it. Finding people to meet via the website is probably one of the more difficult ways to go about swinging, IMO. You're much better off looking around your area for some house parties so that you can get to know people in person. It won't take long for you to have gained enough experience to wade through the flakes and dbags online, but it will still be the most inefficient approach.
Modesto CA			Username hidden (133 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Your experience is within the range of normal. For some people the chase and the flirt is more important than meeting. So they trade the emails, the pictures, but when it comes to meeting they are stop communication or always have excuses. Sadly single women and even couples have turned out to be single guys pretending so as to feed their own fantasy ideas. These people never meet. Just keep trying and be patient. Even when you start meeting people doesn't mean there will be chemistry. We also go by the normal line of emails, a few pictures then phone number and date. We aren't interested in long email relationships. We aren't interested in long "chat" conversations. Because 1st of all we are busy, second if there is that much to say lets do it face to face. We got burned a few times when we 1st started this adventure and didn't have these rules. We chatted with a "single" girl for over a month. She always had an excuse for not calling on phone or meeting or using a webcam. We all flirted and it was exciting, but then the day came when she announced she had a new boyfriend, he was bisexual and he was ready to be on webcam with us and she would be there, but out of sight of the camera. ....damn we felt stupid at that moment. Another "couple" we chatted with and emailed for a couple of weeks. One hour before the "date" we get the message that he's a student in college doing a research paper on swingers and his experiment was over he wasn't a couple. So yes now we insist on trading numbers and meeting in short order. If someones not willing we move on.
Charles City VA			Username hidden (22 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I hope your meeting goes well! But even if you can report that it did, there are other aspects to the problem that have barely been touched on. Many of the real couples on here are actually just him or her at first. When the person on here finds another couple that seems promising, he or she will get the spouse involved. The spouse may find the other couple promising too or say, "I'm not interested." People who have been here or on similar sites for a while know that there are a large number of fakes and phonies. Those experienced people won't get their spouse involved until they're fairly sure they've found a real couple who are what they say they are. That may happen sooner than later, but if there's going to be a phone call, the spouse has to be involved. If the spouse says no, the phone call can't happen, and you never get called. So one possibility for what is happening is that you two are committed, and one spouse of the other couple is committed, but then the fourth person says no and you never hear back. It would be nice if everyone shared your eagerness and got their spouse involved early, but that doesn't seem to be the case, and maybe for good reason. And of course there's the problem of the non-real couples. When you give out a phone number, the game is up because there isn't a spouse (almost always a wife) or because the wife doesn't know the husband is looking for playmates and doesn't want to play at all, or because the husband has misrepresented what his wife is willing to do. So it's not always a bad idea to push for a phone call. If there was never a chance, you'll find out sooner that way. Part of the learning curve here is knowing when to get your expectations up. That time is always longer than you think at first.
Kitty Hawk NC			Username hidden (153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We've been in the LS about a year, and if there is one thing we've learned, it's PATIENCE. After an awesome "cherry popping", we really haven't clicked all around (remember, there are four people involved in couple-to couple relationships, and all four need to be on the same page) with another couple long term, though we've had a couple of nice play dates. I (male half here) would counsel that you take things slowly and be patient. The plus side is that we've made some cool new friends on a more vanilla basis, and we hope to spic things up in the new year. There are some really great people in the LS, and we look forward to meeting more!
Tempe AZ			Username hidden (81 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Welcome to SLS Luvsalot, we liked your profile and can certainly appreciate other Tame/Moderate couples... too bad you live so far away! Unfortunately what you're experiencing is the norm and not the exception. Most (if not all) of us have felt your frustration at some point and we can certainly see how you would be turned off by no-shows or a general lack of interest. We will caution against giving out your phone # so quickly (as outdoorsWNC stated there are several forums that caution against that {chalk it up to being a newbie}) but one thing we can tell you is to first and foremost be patient. As long as you're being up-front about who you are and honest about your wishes/desires you two will find what you're seeking. It was years before we met anyone within the lifestyle and even years more before anything ever happened. Secondly, if you haven't we recommend you at least attend a party or two if only to converse with like minded people and find out what others have experienced. You're not obligated to participate in anything and typically more experienced couples will introduce themselves or even chaperone you two around. Lastly, "Sometimes, the best way to find something is to stop looking for it!" We've essentially we resigned ourselves to the fact that if it ever happens it will be some random fortuitous encounter, like our waitress, the wife's hairdresser or the lady that helps her try on shoes.
Fairview Heights IL			Username hidden (126 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Luvsalot, I just looked at your profile. You seem pretty nice to look at, and you're articulate. So I wonder, what's not to like? Your age preference jumps out at me: You'd have people from 12 years younger to 2 years older. That's a bit on the narrow side, and way skewed against people older than yourselves. You may be like many (most?) here, and feel that you're "younger than your years". You may even be older than your listed ages -- again, many here are. When you fantasize, it may never be about you with older people. That's natural -- for your entire life, you were younger! But there's something to be said for experience; and if you're just starting out, you might get the most benefit from those with exactly the experience you're seeking. Most of us are snobs about one thing or another. You may not think you are really "snobbish" about age, but it still may appear that way to others. Consider the possibility of expanding your acceptance range.
Flat Rock NC			Username hidden (2787 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	finding us is very small, and the chance of them getting back to us within 100 years is infinitesimal. -------------------- Bwah ha ha...sometimes it seems like it! LOL
Amherst OH			Username hidden (2271 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	For perspective, consider this analogy: As vast as the universe is, we can suppose there is intelligent life out there somewhere. To find it, we locate likely solar systems and beam some messages that way. We also put out signals in random directions. The chance of some other advanced species finding us is very small, and the chance of them getting back to us within 100 years is infinitesimal. Compared to that, meeting fun swingers in swingland is not all that taxing!
Flat Rock NC			Username hidden (2787 post)

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TOPIC: Frustrated