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Friendship gone bad : Swingers Discussion 197852
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TOPIC: Friendship gone bad
Created by: knoxcpl4funn
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hello Forum, I seek some advice. I come to you all with a heavy heart. Me and my wife met a fantastic couple during the holidays. We both love their company and the friendship that has blossomed the past 3 months. The husband of Couple A is very much crazy for my wife. I approve of that. Meanwhile the wife of Couple A has little to no interest in me. That was made pretty obvious this past weekend with a stay over at their house. I have been a very patience person in all of this. I can't continue like this. My heart aches for an real opportunity with the wife of Couple A. I hate to deny my wife from seeing him. I know that when they have played, he has been the perfect gentleman. In allowing this, I violated a rule of ours that clearly states in our profile, "We all play, or neither plays." Rules are rules. We want to stay friends with these folks, but I went and sent a "drunken" email, stating how I was feeling and that we both wanted to end this friendship. I have a wonderful wife who only wants what is best for myself. I also want what is best for her too. We both hate to end this friendship with this great couple. What can I do to fix all of this? I feel that anyone can get hookups with playmates, but true friends are hard to find on here, and I want to fix the damage that has been done. Straight talk is greatly appreciated.

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Not sure what damage the drunken email did. However you have a few choices. There is no rule stating you can't keep the friendship and just tell your wife that she can't swing with Couple A's husband. Or you can allow it when you are in the mood. One thing curious you state you have a great friendship. Then how come you haven't just asked her or her husband what's up?

Just about everyone that's in this lifestyle for any amount of time is going to have that story about how they met a nice couple, but only 1/2 the couple wanted to play. You have to make the choice if that's acceptable or not and if so when.

Too bad you sent the drunken email. Some honest sober conversation would have been better, perhaps it's not too late.

If the conversation doesn't work you two will just have to find another couple with and hope there is chemistry for all four.

Charles City VA
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Your relationship with each other comes first.

If one of you isn't "feeling it," then you both need to let go of whomever, whatever, wherever, however...

I think you've done the right thing by talking it out together. Feelings are just that and are not right or wrong, they just "are."

What are the things that make this couple good friends? We've had swing friends who've become great lifelong friends, whether we have sex w/ them or not. We have friends like that now.

I don't think you need to apologize unless you've written something hurtful to the other couple. Move on. You WILL find more friends, real friends, again.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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I dont know,, I will throw this out there, maybe the couple you have been friends with really just wants a Mff...hmmmm and so this has been a good way of having it. I am a vouyer (sp) and I love to watch my sweety with a couple, or even a single female. But it isnt what I want all the time so when I want to play we find others. When I dont then we have friends he and I visit and play goes according. If the couple he plays with decided it was time to change the set up and I had to join, it would be a no go. I am happy they have clicked and enjoy and I am happy for my live porn time.. lol but I dont want the rules of engagement changed. Maybe they feel the same.

Spring TX
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Once there is damage done with another couple it is very very rare for that damage to be undone. They are not the only fish in the sea, move on.

As you said, she was not into you, find a couple where all are into each other and you'll forget all about this couple.

Philadelphia PA
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You made the right choice to break it off IMO. There are plenty of other couples that fit both of you. The only other option is if both of you begin playing separately. This though is not for everyone think it through carefully if you go this route.

Sanford NC
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"we both wanted to end this friendship. I have a wonderful wife who only wants what is best for myself."

You and your wife made a decision. Where's the dilemma?

Belle Chasse LA
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KNOX, welcome to the struggle my brother. this is a big part of why we say the couple/couple hook-up that actually works and leads to continued playdates is the true "unicorn" in the lifestyle.

here's an example: NOT saying this is your case, just an example. usually when a couple gets together, on guy is "bigger" than the other. this often leads to one lady being happier than the other. there are a couple of factors in play here.

the bigger the other guy is, the more happy one lady will be with the situation, and the less happy the other will be. you can't really blame her because she is settling for significantly less than what she is accustomed to getting. the only ladies who will be ok with this situation and will want to continue to meet the (smaller guy) couple, are the ladies who are really just in the LS for the "fun" of it, and not the "size" of it. many ladies will claim size does not matter, they will post here and carry on and on about it, and it is true there are a few, but if you thought the unicorns were hard to find... and to be fair, how many guys do you know who are in the LS, would say there are here for old broke down, worn out pussy? not many. she wants it big, she wants it hard, and she wants it to last long enough to get it inside of her. LOL

even with us, i'm not small, but i'm not a monster. when we meet a couple where the other guy is significantly smaller, my lady is not easily impressed with him unless he is unusually talented with what he has. on the other hand, when the other guy is bigger, her interest quickly perks up. LOL. it's just the nature of the beast. you cannot change it, and trying to force a friendship in the situation is probably not going to turn out well.

our best success (this is just us, not speaking for anyone else) for continued friendships and repeated playdates have been when the other guy is similar in size to myself. neither lady feels she's getting the "short end of the stick" and personality and attractiveness seems to be the focus and we generally have more fun. and let's be honest, guy's egos are often just as much a factor here as well.

Orlando FL
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knox i have been where you are many times.....eating carrot cake downstairs, babysitting the husband while his wife and my husband were upstairs fucking for 2 hours. If you do not address this I can tell you from first hand experience...you will get pissed, frustrated....and resentful of the situation. Your wife sounds wonderful, it sounds like you have got it together. I know you feel bad because they have chemistry...but if you are in this for both of you to have sexual fun I'm telling you, it will lead to issues. Just be tactfully honest if asked....she obviously is not sexually attracted to you. And thats okay, it happens. However, you want to have sexy fun too...and its just not fair to you. And you found this couple, there are more fun couples :0).

San Marcos TX
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Hello Forum, I seek some advice. I come to you all with a heavy heart. Me and my wife met a fantastic couple during the holidays. We both love their company and the friendship that has blossomed the past 3 months. The husband of Couple A is very much crazy for my wife. I approve of that. Meanwhile the wife of Couple A has little to no interest in me. That was made pretty obvious this past weekend with a stay over at their house. I have been a very patience person in all of this. I can't continue like this. My heart aches for an real opportunity with the wife of Couple A. I hate to deny my wife from seeing him. I know that when they have played, he has been the perfect gentleman. In allowing this, I violated a rule of ours that clearly states in our profile, "We all play, or neither plays." Rules are rules. We want to stay friends with these folks, but I went and sent a "drunken" email, stating how I was feeling and that we both wanted to end this friendship. I have a wonderful wife who only wants what is best for myself. I also want what is best for her too. We both hate to end this friendship with this great couple. What can I do to fix all of this? I feel that anyone can get hookups with playmates, but true friends are hard to find on here, and I want to fix the damage that has been done. Straight talk is greatly appreciated.

Knoxville TN
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TOPIC: Friendship gone bad