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Friends or Fucks : Swingers Discussion 34066101
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TOPIC: Friends or Fucks
Created by: cumtogether
Original Starting post for this thread:
Any advice on how to deal when one half of the couple wants to become friends with playmates while the other half prefers to keep them as playmates only.

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My wife and I started out wanting fucks and specifically _not_ friends. I think she wasn't sure she wanted that much overlap with our regular life. As it happens, we did make friends and now we wouldn't have it otherwise. But we are still plenty happy to fuck people we've only just met.

Happy Valley OR
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Friends first, fucks later. Does that mean you need to know their Mom's maiden name and the color of their first bicycle? Hell no. But some intellectual connection makes the physical connection even better. (Plus, if you are comfortable with someone, and know their fantasies and limits, you can get a LOT more freaky. ~Wink~ )

~Vixen

Harrisburg PA
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When we started swinging, we idealistically hoped to have a small circle of friends to play with, either as couples or as a group. We quickly learned, to our surprise, that we don't NEED to become friends first. At our very first party we both ended up having sex with people we just met, and we had a great time doing it!

So as you gain experience, you learn more & more about yourselves and what works and what doesn't, at least if you're flexible enough to try things a time or two instead of rigidly adhering to some arbitrary set of rules.

We kept discussing our "rules" after each swinging encounter, and we finally realized that ALL our rules kept geting in the way of our having a good time. So now we just say to each other "Have a great time, Honey, and remember who you're going home with." Then we play as we each desire, whether together or separate, whether with another couple or each of us freelancing at a party.

Like I said, this all took place over the course of a few years. Now, though, we know we can thoroughly trust each other and we no longer need any rules other than "go with the flow."

South Riding VA
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We have several "friends" in the lifestyle. We travel with them, have dinner, have met their families and they have met ours, and have a great sexual relationship with them. We see nothing wrong with fucking your friends as long as all the parties agree. When we attend house parties I think its safe to say that a majority of the people we meet there are fucks, but some we see again and establish a friendship with them. We have made friends with some people in the lifestyle that we don't play with. We chat, hang out, shoot pool and have dinner with them. They are not bed buddies but they are still our friends. You don't have to screw everyone in this lifestyle, sometimes its good just to keep it as friends.

Muncy PA
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this one always cracks me up. You must be friends first . In 7 years of this lifetsyle the majority of the time once a couple knows that you are not interested sexually poof they are gone and no longer wish to be friends. The first time you have one or two indifferent sexual times with another couple the relationship goes south. Again the fabled friendship thingy! Granted you can have long term relationships ,we have 4 of them that are 5 years or longer. We have more funny stories on how couples want to be our best friends and hang out with us as we do love to have fun and do have great time whether its a social even or play time.Those couples have become stalkers not friends and try to locate us at any the pubs we hang out at. Is there a place for the one night stands .Absolutely, they are a blast ,specially when you go clubbing. You find a couple that intrigues you, but lives 2-3 or more hours away.Those that you are unlikely to see in a very long time.Acquaintances would be a better term then friends. How about those couples that you hit it off with really well. Then you go there and find out he is not secure in himself , has no creativity and wishes to blame the other female for his lack of creativity or blames his mate for her having a better time.We no longer have an interest in those couples to go there. Specially if it was the first time

Sarasota FL
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We prefer friends as stated before, but when we are at a house party it is a one night deal. If we happen to give our number out to hook up with the person or couple at a later date and become friends more then that is cool. Due to my previous work experience (4 jobs in 3 years) and my wife's work experience it isn't too difficult to just say I worked with one or the other person of the couple at a previous job without going into major details. And trust me, we are not against one night deals with others we meet if all are agreed ahead of time.

Fort Worth TX
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Love trips to Disneyworld here, what a great way to spend a day with your special friends topped off with a night of play back at the hotel. I'm not sure how someone can share the most of intimate experiences and not want to hang out with them in the "real" world. Everyone has the right to pursue this as they like regardless of which method. However, we have found quite a few people that claim they want "friends" when they really only want "encounters". It's refreshing to see those that have posted that really only want "encounters" to be up-front and not mislead someone seeking more.

Rio Rancho NM
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Got to get to texgas!!!! Carrie can I be your freind Always....hehe

JoAnn

Tucson AZ
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We find it's easier to become friends with people who we get along well with in the bedroom first. It's frustrating to become friends with someone, then find out you just don't click in the sex department. We enjoy doing just social things with our friends, and sex doesn't always have to be part of getting together. But it sure is nice to know the option is there.

JMHO - Gary

West Sacramento CA
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Friends first for us..... Who wants to fuck someone you dont like? Not us.

Eugene OR
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TOPIC: Friends or Fucks