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First full swap now having mixed feelings : Swingers Discussion 225289
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TOPIC: First full swap now having mixed feelings
Created by: decouple4f
Original Starting post for this thread:
Me and hubby had our first full swap. It was fun and all, but now I'm having mixed feelings about it. When we were discussing the things that happened that night, I started to get upset about whst hubby said. He told me that she came multiple times. That bothered me only because I'm having trouble achieving orgasim when hubby is down there. U see, I'm on anti depressant medicine and one of the side effects is sexual disfunction. Hubby says that its not my fault, but I'm upset because he could pleasure her but when he tries with me I can't. This is very frustrating and I don't want to ruin it because of my problem climaxing. Can anyone either relate or have advice to which would help.

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Exactly Trooper! Most of the time when I (the wife) am looking over profiles and see a nice looking female and then flip through their picks, most of the men aren't attractive and vise versa. If attraction ain't there, what's the point. Also mist of the time when I do see a coupke I like and show hubby he says its up to me anyway. But nicely said.

Bear DE
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Losa it is great if your wife does you such a favor so you can get laid . Nothing like using ones wife as bait so you can have sex. Frankly I've not met people like you and for that I am grateful. The women of the people we have met find attraction paramount and the men also have standards. Not one time have I ever felt Mr Sav was along for the ride so anyone could play with me, never have we chosen a couple based solely on the female half. I guess I just don't love Mr Sav enough that I would play with a tag a long because his wife was hot. It may be what "it is " for you but I assure you that isn't the norm. We don't view any male in that matter, we don't do favors nor gratuity fucks and if we aren't both 100% In we're OUT. If Mr Sav ever implied I was the means to his getting laid with strange we'd never play again. If he ever suggested we play with someone I was not completely into so he could play with some hottie we'd drop out of the LS faster then a lightening bolt. Thankfully he has respect for both me and the men and women we play with.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Different strokes for different folks (bad pun...LOL)


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Sorry the addition of a female doesn't change your chances as a male in our view. Basically if a couple doesn't have a hot guy who can hold a conversation I'm not interested and it isn't going to go any further no matter how hot the female of the couple is. Which is why we do not swap with couples very often, too many couples one is hot the other is not.

PG

Louisville KY
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It is what it is. The wife would be much more likely to bang an average guy in a couple, regardless of what she looks like, than she would a single male. A single male is held to a much higher standard.

Virginia Beach VA
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Well I'm really happy to hear your honest about the fact you'd(your wife) bang some guy just to get to his wife. Oh wait maybe only other people do that???? Yeah that's it, you (*your wife) has to be attracted to the guy right??? The rest of us really only care about the female.

PFFT!!!!!

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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"Never forget, that without you, he wouldn't be playing at all". Yes, we believe that. Just ask any average, run of the mill single male. A single guy in the lifestyle is practically invisible. Add a female sidekick and the options expand exponentially.

Virginia Beach VA
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I'm not going to beat around the bush, I don't posses the political correct filters that many do.

I'm going to spell it out. Don't take it as a slam, it's not. It's actually the best and most honest advise that you'll get here. Livewire posted it a few days ago, in a very delicate way, it was glossed over quite smoothly.

You need marriage counseling.

Rumson NJ
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Well said Sav. Neither of us are tag-a-long's . And the couple we were with... we have made a friendship with them outside of the bedroom. We also ask the other couples why they would choose us, and during talking we can get a general idea if they are fake or flakes. No matter how "hot" the girl is, if the wife does not find the male attractive, we wont play, same thing if she finds the male attractive and the female not so attractive, we would pass, even if I liked the female.

Also I agree if you need to start seeking counseling for the LS, it is time to get out. Now with what someone stated. differentiating love and sex, MOST people have a hard time with this, or can't even do it. All our lives we have been told you marry this person, so that is the one you have sex with. It is unfortunate that we are brought up that way, but once you can differentiate the 2, it is amazing... Took me a while once I gave the LS chance. But the Mrs' ... she is really coming along with this. All it took was seeing how we did with the first Full Swap. (not the problems initially) more on that below

And getting back onto the subject... I think what the Mrs' was getting at was the fact that I had been insensitive to her problem. That brought on emotions of self doubt, and the thought of " he likes pleasing her" jealousy. And I can understand a bit where she is coming from, if I couldn't orgasm........ I could only think about what the emotional distress that would bring me. And she is living it. That said, I think a few people blew this way further then what was needed, but we both can say we looked at the questions some of those people had, and their ideas, and it just reaffirmed how we still enjoy the lifestyle, regardless of some problems. And those problems will be taken care of...

And the jealousy thing above, don't let that fool you ... its not more so jealousy, but that little thought in the back of your head.....you know ... like "hey you got the last cupcake" kind

Bear DE
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" Never forget that without you, he wouldn't be playing at all. Most likely the other couple chose to play because of you, not him."

What the hell??? Do you seriously believe that ? What you're saying is that you chose a couple based on the female half and therefore settle for the fact that her husband is part of the package. He is just simply a means to an end? To get to her you have to tolerate him?

In our experience we have never chosen a couple based on the female half nor the male half. Either both of them meet our needs or we move along. Mr Sav isn't some sludge trailing along behind me so I can have fun and we surely do not disrespect any man to put him in that situation of being a tag along to his wife because we think she is hot. How incredibly insulting and very sad. I'm not taking one for the team so Mr Sav can bang anyone . We see both parts of the couple as equals and treat them as such.

Oye Vay!

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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TOPIC: First full swap now having mixed feelings