First Time to Club Need some advice: Swingers Discussion 61926

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TOPIC: First Time to Club Need some advice

Created by: Buckeyeb13 Original Starting post for this thread:
Good morning all...my husband and I are new to the lifestyle and we will be attending a club for the first time this Thursday. Though we have talked about acting on our fantasies for some time now, as Thursday approaches, we find ourselves a bit apprehensive---yet excited at the same time. What should we expect our first time at a club? We're both outgoing, so meeting people shouldn't be a problem, but how do you turn someone down who you aren't attracted to? How do you let someone know you ARE attracted to them? And-----here's a stupid question(lol)--but any advice on what to WEAR??? Have read a lot of great advice on the forum boards...........was hoping someone out there could tell us about their first time at a club. Thanks!!

Created by: Buckeyeb13
Original Starting post for this thread:

Good morning all...my husband and I are new to the lifestyle and we will be attending a club for the first time this Thursday.  Though we have talked about acting on our fantasies for some time now, as Thursday approaches, we find ourselves a bit apprehensive---yet excited at the same time.  What should we expect our first time at a club? We're both outgoing, so meeting people shouldn't be a problem, but how do you turn someone down who you aren't attracted to?  How do you let someone know you ARE attracted to them?   And-----here's a stupid question(lol)--but any advice on what to WEAR???  Have read a lot of great advice on the forum boards...........was hoping someone out there could tell us about their first time at a club.  Thanks!!

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User Details are only visible to members.	How do you turn down someone you are not attracted to? The universally accepted way is to simply say "No thank you" - and NOTHING ELSE. Don't try to make excuses. Don't give any reason why. A simple "No thank you" is all you should say. Anything more only causes hurt feelings or invites them to try to refute your reason. Any experienced swinger understands that nobody is attractive to everybody, and getting turned down is to be expected frequently as a common occurrence. It will even happen to you. Just smile and move on. As others have said in previous threads, your first time at a club should be all about seeing what goes on at a club and meeting people - not about having sex with people. Don't be the least shy about telling people you have never done this before, this is your first visit to a club, and you aren't ready yet for anything more than seeing how clubs work. And remember, DON'T allow yourself to get pressured into a situation you don't want, or into fooling around with someone you don't want. You and your spouse should have a clear understanding before your club visit about what you will or won't do - and stick to it! Don't ever break the agreed upon rules "in the heat of the moment." Many couples at their first club visit enjoy seeing others naked in the hot tub, or seeing other people having sex in open rooms, and enjoy getting naked in front of other couples, but still restrict themselves to just having sex with each other the first time. If you meet people you'd like to "play" with, make sure to get their 1st names, at least, and a phone number or email address so you can arrange to meet up with them another time, perhaps over drinks or dinner so you can get to know them better and feel more comfortable with them. And remember, you will experience feelings of anxiety, fear, and maybe even jealousy. It just takes time and experience to get over that and realize there's no real reason for those feelings. But in the meantime, only move forward at a pace that is comfortable for the one of you who is LEAST comfortable. And have some kind of "code words" or signals you and your spouse can use that mean "let's go for it" or "HELP! Get me out of this situation," or "Let's get out of here NOW!" Jim
South Riding VA			Username hidden (8158 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Our first experience at a club was great! The host couple went out of their way to make the "virgins" comfortable. We had a sweet young lady take us under her wing, and she introduced us to tons of people. When we go to clubs or events, we go with the mind frame, no expectations, no disappointments. When we go out, I usually show some cleavage and alot of leg. Just relax, and be yourself! You will be fine. Just remember, we have ALL been there! :0) Ms. Sin
Utica NY			Username hidden (493 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Good morning all...my husband and I are new to the lifestyle and we will be attending a club for the first time this Thursday. Though we have talked about acting on our fantasies for some time now, as Thursday approaches, we find ourselves a bit apprehensive---yet excited at the same time. What should we expect our first time at a club? We're both outgoing, so meeting people shouldn't be a problem, but how do you turn someone down who you aren't attracted to? How do you let someone know you ARE attracted to them? And-----here's a stupid question(lol)--but any advice on what to WEAR??? Have read a lot of great advice on the forum boards...........was hoping someone out there could tell us about their first time at a club. Thanks!!
Warren OH			Username hidden (1 post)

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TOPIC: First Time to Club Need some advice

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