Excitement Sex or Taboo: Swingers Discussion 96561

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TOPIC: Excitement: Sex or Taboo

Created by: SwingRway Original Starting post for this thread:
We are curious to see what others feel about what you enjoy about the lifestyle... For us the sex seems to be mediocre since you barely know the people and their styles (which is also part of the fun) and it is often a learning process of the other person's style the first time or two around... What seems to be the most erotic part is less the sex and more the social norms or taboos that we are breaking in the actual meeting, flirting, conversation and later exploration?

Created by: SwingRway
Original Starting post for this thread:

We are curious to see what others feel about what you enjoy about the lifestyle... For us the sex seems to be mediocre since you barely know the people and their styles (which is also part of the fun) and it is often a learning process of the other person's style the first time or two around... What seems to be the most erotic part is less the sex and more the social norms or taboos that we are breaking in the actual meeting, flirting, conversation and later exploration?

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User Details are only visible to members.	This is probably good advice and something I haven't really thought about much. But it's true that no human being is likely to meet or exceed your own vast and imaginary expecations. In fact, I've had lovers as a single that for all the hype and fantasy I had about them, they weren't very good in bed. "Good" is so subjective anyway...just because someone wants to fuck you doesn't mean it will blow your mind when it happens, especially if you've already imagined every detail about how it "should" go down.
Cocoa FL			Username hidden (645 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"I am the same way. I have yet to have anyone be as good as I imagined so I no longer fantasy about people. I will only be disappointed. " We don't have any fantasy about people either. It just isn't fair to them. They can't live up to our imagination, so we don't subject them to it. The more I have flirted and drawn out the "build up" foreplay prior to meeting--- the greater the disappointment. So, we stopped doing it.
Mountain Ranch CA			Username hidden (8750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Simba, I am the same way. I have yet to have anyone be as good as I imagined so I no longer fantasy about people. I will only be disappointed. Carrie
Corpus Christi TX			Username hidden (16510 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	You are right! My wife has a male friend and she has been teasing him and then finely gave him a BJ and he lasted bout 3 seconds. She was bummed1
Lincoln DE			Username hidden (8 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	After several years of the sex not being as good as the "build up", we try not to have any build up involved in our heads... aka "expectations." I guess my imagination is always better than the real thing....unfortunately.
Mountain Ranch CA			Username hidden (8750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	My wife and I are some what new to this. We both love the build up to the moment. My enjoyment is seeing her with her male friend and how much she enjoys it. I love reading their text msg and can't wait for it to happen. So fare we have only been with one male friend but we look forward to more, so fare just taking our time.
Lincoln DE			Username hidden (8 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	As Amazing as the sex can be at times. Its often the build up, that i like the most. There's always a huge element of lust when it comes to swinging, as well as a bit of a taboo aspect. Although, strangly enough, for us the most taboo situation (taboo as in a good thing though). Came, and we still feel it, when we started swinging with a couple of our closest friends. Don't really know why, as it felt really natural. But there was/is kind of a thrill when thinking about how nobody else knows what we get up to behind closed doors. Which is strange really, as you'd expect to feel that more when playing with strangers i suppose?
Manchester England United Kingdom			Username hidden (5 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	The point that may be missed is why your play style is focused on yourselves rather than on your play partners. Isn't it because you have such a wonderful and unique bond together, forged in many ways over many experiences? Isn't it because he is the best for you and you for him due to knowing each other inside and out from the countless times you've shared each other. It is certainly not because it's the first time with your husband or his with you. We have a similar play style, in that we always play as a together, our play is shared with others but the priority, the focus is each other. We sharing our together sexuality with others rather than swapping partners for the night. We do no play in separate rooms. Yet we don't treat our play partners as if they are sex toys: ahhh, this couple was fun for today, let's try a new one tomorrow. We interact with them, have real conversations that are part of the sensual, sexual play interaction. Those intereactions get better with time just as our own sexuality and our love gets better with time, with connection, with knowing. That getting better with play partners, that growing connection is not love, unless you speak of our love for fellow human beings, for friends. It does not threaten or ever approach the bond of love we have for each other. Rather it enhances our own bond, deepens it to have such friends. Such play friends are rare as so many seem frightened of meaningful interactions and are more interested in the movement of the meat without attendant emotions. We find that disappointing, and far less erotic.
Enosburg Falls VT			Username hidden (969 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We've been enjoying the excitement that comes, for us, in discovering more and more about the people we've already met and have had sex with, or have met and have yet to have sex with (ok, grammar police, ugh). For us, the exploration and the "newness" is still there even with each other, there is always something "new' to discover and try. I love that Dan can still surprise me, and I would say we know each other VERY well! So, the depths of exploration, desire, excitement, pleasure, lust, satisfaction, allure, etc etc...are all still a part of any time spent with people who've become our swing friends, some more than others just simply because they "get" that aspect as well. The first time meetings are still an attraction too, but both are exciting and desirable. And a lot of times "repeats" are even more so. Gina
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (5609 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"The first time your lips and tongue find the rhythm that inspires her orgasm? The first time that your rhythm allows multiple orgasms? The first time for a toe curling orgasm? The first time for a different toe curling orgasm? The first time she's wet before she undresses? The first time she quivers just touching her shoulder before undressing? " All of those can easily happen on the first date. At the very least by the 2nd date. Maybe it's because we do have the comfort level right up front to open ourselves up and have wall climbing sex with total strangers. It may also be our "play style" lends it to powerful up front play sessions. We can't get more relaxed with strangers than we can with someone we've known for a year. We are equally relaxed with both because our focus is never on the other person directly, but our focus is on ourselves having fun with each other and we "invite" the other person in to have fun with us. So, it' really them experiencing our play together and they just benefit from that. Rarely, do we ever pair off and it's just me playing with the guy or my just my husband playing with the woman. Usually, we are always playing together and invite others to join us in our play as a 3 some or 4 some...instead of a 2 some and a 2 some. The dynamics are bit different because they are infused in my husband and I's teamwork together.
Mountain Ranch CA			Username hidden (8750 post)

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TOPIC: Excitement: Sex or Taboo

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