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Emotions and Sex : Swingers Discussion 38192
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TOPIC: Emotions and Sex
Created by: CuriousNew The original post for this thread was deleted.
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not so sure that the sex is better the more you are in the know of another person.I am not talking about coming up to another and getting it on. of course there is chat, quality time, understand the other person or couple.A time to get to know the other.but someone you have met one or two nights for a few hours each night can't constitute a friend, you do not have all the knowledge of that person/s by that time.Again I think its in defining what is a friend I think where the confusing part begins is in our definition of a friend. A friend in our midns would be ones you can call anytime and aay hey ltes go to dinenr,drinks etc. Not someone you meet at a swing club once in a blue moon or ones you hook up with once every other month or 3 monhts later.A friend would be one you can sit down with speak about the weather , what you want out of life, the good the bad and the ugly. Those that are not in that realm would be considered acquantances.Not at all saying there is no contact with another. Hell we all know that we have to have some sort of connection be it mental or physical or both. i'll bet any that have had a totally physical connection that was creative,winged,daring will say it was one the best experiences they have ever had and very difficult to recreate that much fun.Yes in the real world we like stability, in which we always return to. which is why we live our daily lives Air: the flowers play a huge part of romance, thats what I get from people who want romance, they yearn fro those things that they had when they were datin. And yes we run entirely in different circles, we have acquantances from upscale to down. We all say the same yes flirting, dancing, grooving,touching, opening up a nice bottle of wine, sitting on the beach watching the sun set,skinny dipping while the moon glistens over the water and bodies but we do not call this romance. Romance would be what you did when dating , what a husband and wife do with each other.Romance would be filling up a tub for a bubble bath. washing her back is not romance,taking a wash cloth after having great sex and wiping down every inch of her body is not romance. These are things that you do when your having a great time with others or your special one to entice the situation. Perhaps our ideas are not that far off its just the terminology we are using . We do ont consider what we do romance.

Sarasota FL
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It is possible to have sex with no emotional content. But not if you know and like your partner, even a little. And sex is always much better if there is some connection between the parties.

I've had fun with totally shallow sex in the context of a big orgy pile or someone I just grab on the dance floor at a club. Especially when I was swinging as half of a couple and a lot of the fun was watching him and having him watch me.

But if I get to know someone through conversation there is always some emotional content. When I get to know someone better, as a friend or more, obviously there is greater emotional content. When you are connecting with a person, as opposed to just playing with a body, the sex is always better.

When a committed couple is swinging, the trick is to ensure that your friendships and emotional attachments with others never cross the "trouble line." This can be difficult sometimes and is the main reason why the Lifestyle requires emotional maturity, a level head and a good relationship with your primary partner.

Springfield VA
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air . could agree if ours and most main intent was to date.the bubble bath is great for that.The sex and passion that comes with sex is not lost when you do not have an emotional tie with another. We have seen lots of people here say they are into emotional connection, but out there outside of a site and forum boards its quite the opposite. The bubble baths,romance,dating are no longer an issue as most of the couples are not looking for that from others. They do seem to want a long term relationship , one that includes dancing,. drinks dinner enjoying a comedy club ,pub ,dbeach etc.Not one of the people we have met have wanted romance ,bubble baths,flowers sent to where they work or home. Yeah a mental connection and a physical connection when you are about to engage in sex is always nice. but with just a physical attraction you can still have passion for sex, be real creative, daring and have the time of your life. Most times a so called season sensitive swinger will know before they get naked that someone is jealous,insecure so these things should be a non issue when you are naked with them.

Sarasota FL
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We have fun with the couples we know and continue to see and those that we see infrequently!

Center Valley PA
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Friends and Lovers? It can be very difficult for some people to have sex without emotion. Our own marriage is very secure and we have not had any issues with jealousy between ourselves or anyone else. However, we have become emotional attached to people. NOT clingy or possessive, but have developed strong feelings with certain couples. You could call it love. Our desire is to build long time friendships with other couples. We find that the longer we know people and the more times we play together, the sex just gets better and better. We have never been interested in a exclusive relationship with another couple. My wife and I are exclusive to each other. On the other hand we have recently met a couple who we are terribly attracted to in every way and I think the feeling is mutual. We have not even done full swap yet, but soft swap once. I feel that this could be a couple, who if they asked, we could be exclusive with with the exception of 1 or 2 other close friends. Honestly, we have been with many couples in the 3 years we have been in the lifestyle and have never felt this way about anyone.

Redondo Beach CA
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they say we have met?Sorry its difficult to say as I have no clue what they look like. Wondering how long ago this was if it was in the kirbys days when we had 150 people coming to the meet and greets. During those meet and greet days we did not hook up with anyone from the meet and greets.stupid decision now that I look back on those days,.We did not want people thinking we invited them just to hook up.Its funny how people had this idea that we knew and hooked up with so many during the meet and greets. If they only knew.WEG We do like the smaller versions we do now. so much more fun and you do get the actual time to get to know people. We did meet quite a few and flirted with even more of them! now we are free and easy.... hottubing can wait for another time.Don't want to scare your mom just yet! LOL

Sarasota FL
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Yup Expo, same couple but in talking with them last weekend you guys may have already met a while ago.

Too bad the hot spa has been put to bed for the season....we'll have to keep that for another time when it gets warmer. It can seat 6 (or 8 if they're friendly) but usually after this party I'm pretty knackered for the night and next day. But you never know.....

Sarasota FL
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hmmmmmmmm . grin.....raising eyebrows......another couple ...........from here........ is that the same couple you told me was coming the other day? Thats cool,sounds like we all will have a very nice time. You woudl be veyr surprised at how ofetn we put together vanilla events where we are always mixing our friends from within and outside of the little circle. Whats been funny , those outside the circle have been quicker to flash their breasts in public then those that do swing.

Sarasota FL
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great ,we can go a few hours without smoking unless alcohol is involved! We have enver had to deal with jealousy issues between ourselves have encountered it with a few other couples, not such a pretty thing to see

Sarasota FL
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Also Expo, we've invited another couple from here to attend that you've said you'd like to meet.

As far as the jealousy factor...that's a wicked emotion to have to deal with. I go with my partner and I leave with my partner. But I do like to focus intensely on who I'm with at that moment.

Sarasota FL
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TOPIC: Emotions and Sex