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Disagreeing on playmates - HELP! : Swingers Discussion 231608
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TOPIC: Disagreeing on playmates - HELP!
Created by: Candysmithxxxxx
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hi all -- first of all I would like to introduce myself - my husband and I have been in the lifestyle on and off for 10 years... we've had some really successful meet ups and some very unsuccessful meet up LOL... right now we are coming across the same problem which seems to be repeating itself over and over and over again. First of all, my husband does not play. I am the only one who plays - we both prefer it this way. Now the problem is we cannot seem to agree when choosing a playmate for me, he has an idea in his head of what he likes to see being a voyeur and for photos etc and I have an idea in my head about what I enjoy. So we disagree constantly on the subject - over and over again. Where it's getting to the point that it's affecting our relationship :( and we would really appreciate anybody's help and advice either here in the forum or through private message. There is more to the story but I will start with this and we can go from there, thank you xx

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If you get to play and he doesn't, there's already an element of inequality there. It may be voluntary and consensual, but it is unequal nonetheless. With access to playmates already skewed in your favor, watching and filming the play seems to what he needs to feel like this arrangement is occurring on a level playing field (no pun intended) - provided BOTH of you are comfortable with your playmate. If this isn't the case, you have two options. Stop playing and wait for the right playmate you both can agree on. Or both of you can push ahead with people that make the other half uncomfortable at the cost and peril of your true relationship.

Huntington WV
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Concur with the last post. Unbelievable, so he doesn't play, but wants to dictate who you have inside of you????? Sorry for being blunt but is he your hubby or your master??? Perhaps you should re-evaluate your goals in the LS.

Athens AL
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Probably tough to answer without knowing the other stuff but it sounds like there might be some underlying relationship stuff going on you need to work out first.

Allentown PA
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(1269 posts)
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Hi all -- first of all I would like to introduce myself - my husband and I have been in the lifestyle on and off for 10 years... we've had some really successful meet ups and some very unsuccessful meet up LOL... right now we are coming across the same problem which seems to be repeating itself over and over and over again. First of all, my husband does not play. I am the only one who plays - we both prefer it this way. Now the problem is we cannot seem to agree when choosing a playmate for me, he has an idea in his head of what he likes to see being a voyeur and for photos etc and I have an idea in my head about what I enjoy. So we disagree constantly on the subject - over and over again. Where it's getting to the point that it's affecting our relationship :( and we would really appreciate anybody's help and advice either here in the forum or through private message. There is more to the story but I will start with this and we can go from there, thank you xx

Mechanicsburg PA
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(2 posts)
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TOPIC: Disagreeing on playmates - HELP!