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Couples that creep you out : Swingers Discussion 203743
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TOPIC: Couples that creep you out
Created by: flhotfun
Original Starting post for this thread:
I have a question. We were approached online here by a couple that didn't fit our interest. They emailed us. We politely said "Thank you, but we don't think we are compatible" The first event we go to they are there and they made a point to come and talk to us. In person they creeped us both out even more than in the pics. We made some small talk for a few minutes and then they went back to their table. Each subsequent event we have been to the have been there, typically in the corner just peering out at everyone, but frequently staring at us. If J goes to the bar to get a drink, one of them will get up and go try to talk to T. We did explain we aren't interested as nicely as we could but they are very persistant. Now when we look for events to attend, we find ones that sound like fun and look at the list of attendee's and they are ALWAYS listed. It's to a point where we don't want to go to these events because we know they will be there.

How do the experienced couples deal with this type of situation?

We are new and have no experience as of yet, but this is starting to cause us to not want us to be involved in anything cause we can't really relax and have fun. I'm not trying to sound petty in this. We still do have some fun, but it's like we are looking over our shoulders the entire time to see if they are coming so was can do an evasive manuver. If we hadn't told them we weren't interested twice, it night be different, like we led them on, but we didn't. We were up front and said thank you for the interest, but we are looking for something else. We aren't some super sexy buff awesome couple, we know that, but we do know what we want and like. Sadly, this couple wasn't it. So why do we have to feel uncomfortable when we go out because we said no? Doesn't seem right? Am i wrong in this? Is there something more to the lifestyle I haven't learned in reference to this?

Thank you for any thoughts you can provide!!! J (&T)

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Well actually we started chatting with another couple on here and found out that it's not just us. The have done it to everyone. It takes them a little while but they get the hint and move on. So I guess in time we will be good!! LOL

Thanks for all the assistance though!! You guys are all great!!

Cape Coral FL
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They are newbie vultures. No one experienced gives them the time of day. Tell them to fuck off.

White Hse Sta NJ
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I don't know if I can explain it where it makes sense. Hey, we are nothing special, we are on the chubby side and not everyone's cup of tea, but we try our best. When we email someone we are ever so kind, a few sentences so we aren't the one liner type, we compliment, state what we liked in the profile and ask that they take a look at ours and let us know if they feel there is any interest. If there is no reply so be it.

Our pics are tasteful. Public ones are clothed and we don't allow just anyone to see the private ones. When we go out we dress to impress, T in a dress, hair done, usually heels, some light makeup, jewlery. J in nice pants and a button down shirt, either dress shoes or clean white sneakers. We are not rich, if anything we are close to polar opposite of that, but we present ourselves as a nice clean couple because we are and money makes no difference in who you are as a person.

They are opposite of everything I just listed here and hey, if that's what they want to do I'm not looking to keep them from doing that. They are more than welcome to dress how they want and look the way they want. I take no offense to it at all. But, I guess it bothers me and we found them creepy because we had only been on SLS for less than 24 hours when they emailed us and were very forthcoming in wanting to get together. We looked at the pics and decided they weren't what we were looking for. We sent them a reply that stated the default quick reply, "Thank you, but we don't feel we are compatible." The next event we went to everyone was dressed nicely, dresses, slacks and button downs or polos, except them. The forwardness of the email was bad enough, but then they did it to us at the event, and talked to us about the fact tht pics don't show what really needs to be seen in a couple. We agreed. But, in all honsty they looked better in the pics than in person. That might have been the "Over the top" part of the creepy, along with the coming up right away and basicly saying in not so many words that we should be with them and not judge them by their pics alone. We again stated thank you for your interest, but we looking for something else. Now, no matter what event we go to they are there and if either one of us is alone for a minute or more, one of them swoops in for the kill. It's just annoying and bothersome. When we look to go out now, we look and see if they are on the list of attendees and decide if we want to deal with it or not. Maybe it's more frustrating because we are new and aren't really sure the etiquette in this type of lifestyle situation. We are not rude people and don't want to be rude to them, but if this were a different situation and it were occuring like this, I would have had a different outlook and would have put a stop to it quickly. However, I don't know their ties to the SLS community (although I doubt there are any), and I don't want to have nasty things said about us to other potential friends or playmates.

Wow that was long winded....sorry!! I just don't want to feel defeat before we can see the finish line....

Cape Coral FL
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What is it that is creepy about them especially given it's worse in person?

White Hse Sta NJ
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So we have for the most part done it right. Good to know. Thanks so much for all of your insight!!

J (&T)

Cape Coral FL
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It's to a point where we don't want to go to these events because we know they will be there. How do the experienced couples deal with this type of situation?"

OMG yes unfortunately. It finally reached a point where we are no longer inviting like we used to be. We just say "we may be there, I am not sure yet". The reason for this is because the last time we did that and said yes, we will be there....definately come and say hey! Well...people assume things. They assume that because we are friendly...we are going to fuck them. The last time the husband stood by jay going when are we going to play, do you want to go play are y'all ready to go play? the playrooms are open lol. Finally jay told him "you and your wife can go play anytime you like. We are partying here." We no longer tell anyone we are going, its always we are not sure, we may or may not.

Do not stop going because of this couple. Go, have fun, and if they bother you get security.


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Mr Care is correct. Will you occasionally have one you have to be a bit firm with the "we are not interested" yes it will happen. Had that happen to us at a lifestyle event. We were just being friendly and chatting in a food line then next thing I know it seems like they are always around us. The problem, 0 interest on my part since the guy looked like my dad. {{{{shudder}}}} but I know if it came to it there were several staff members that would have spoken to him if need be.

PG

Louisville KY
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Go to the parties you want, and don't worry about them at all. We talk and joke with almost anyone, regardless of being no interest. If they are just socializing, don't make more of it. If they are still trying to "win" you over, just tell them straight up that you don't have interest in them. You do not need to give a reason for your lack of interest, and we have found it best to never give a reason. If they still won't stop bugging, go to the people running the party, and they can help shut it down or remove them if needed.

No pressure atmosphere is what the lifestyle demands, and we have found everyone will do what needs to be done to maintain just that.

Good luck,

Harmony FL
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Welcome to the lifestyle. LOL. You have done the right thing. The problem is that some couples, usually male driven, have a hard time accepting "no" for an answer. They are probably thinking that if you really get to know them, that you will like them and want to play.

As a general rule in this lifestyle, we have found it always a good idea to be nice. Continue to do as you are and dont let them keep you from having fun. Some people can be a pain in the ass, but eventually they will get the message.

Port Canaveral FL
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I have a question. We were approached online here by a couple that didn't fit our interest. They emailed us. We politely said "Thank you, but we don't think we are compatible" The first event we go to they are there and they made a point to come and talk to us. In person they creeped us both out even more than in the pics. We made some small talk for a few minutes and then they went back to their table. Each subsequent event we have been to the have been there, typically in the corner just peering out at everyone, but frequently staring at us. If J goes to the bar to get a drink, one of them will get up and go try to talk to T. We did explain we aren't interested as nicely as we could but they are very persistant. Now when we look for events to attend, we find ones that sound like fun and look at the list of attendee's and they are ALWAYS listed. It's to a point where we don't want to go to these events because we know they will be there.

How do the experienced couples deal with this type of situation?

We are new and have no experience as of yet, but this is starting to cause us to not want us to be involved in anything cause we can't really relax and have fun. I'm not trying to sound petty in this. We still do have some fun, but it's like we are looking over our shoulders the entire time to see if they are coming so was can do an evasive manuver. If we hadn't told them we weren't interested twice, it night be different, like we led them on, but we didn't. We were up front and said thank you for the interest, but we are looking for something else. We aren't some super sexy buff awesome couple, we know that, but we do know what we want and like. Sadly, this couple wasn't it. So why do we have to feel uncomfortable when we go out because we said no? Doesn't seem right? Am i wrong in this? Is there something more to the lifestyle I haven't learned in reference to this?

Thank you for any thoughts you can provide!!! J (&T)

Cape Coral FL
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TOPIC: Couples that creep you out