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Changing rules : Swingers Discussion 225145
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TOPIC: Changing rules
Created by: bkrbi4more
Original Starting post for this thread:
I recently started chatting with a very cool couple. Chat with the lady one night, chat with the male half another night, hit it off (on paper) with both. Talk to my wife about meeting the couple and she told me she doesn't want me playing with women.

No problem, update my profile so no future miscommunications can happen but now I'm stuck hoping I haven't completely offended the cool couple. I suppose there's really no way around it if they don't understand, but I don't like leading people on (especially unknowingly).

I'm not really seeking any advice, just wondering what folks do when the rules change on them, either because of spousal discomfort or other reasons.

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If people are offended by your own relationship deciisions then they are not 'cool', tough titties to them. If you were candid and got back to them that you were not full swap right now, then they likely understood.

Oklahoma City OK
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Definitely always have and always will respect whatever rules are in play. No point in being in this if you can't be honest with the people you're with, right? I understand communication is necessary. As a third to a couple that kept having to change their rules because of our relationship, I've seen first hand how difficult it can be sometimes. I have no desire to screw things up at home by being stupid.

JackDarlene, my wife isn't playing with anyone, other than me, at the moment. But when she did play she never attempted to play with any guys other than oral... she's just not that interested in fucking other people.

Herndon VA
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Rules can change as you get further into the LS, we're finding. For example, when we started out, we decided that "same room" would be the rule. But after a couple of house parties where one of us was attracted to one half of another couple, and the other wasn't, we decided that separate rooms was fine. If you communicate with each other on an ongoing basis about your play, it shouldn't be a problem.

Tempe AZ
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I'm curious ... she doesn't want you playing with women? Is she ok with her playing with other men, though? Just wondering.


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"just wondering what folks do when the rules change on them,"

Respect the rule. That's the most important aspect to swinging, imo. You tell us your rules, we'll tell you ours. We either all agree on them or we don't play. Simple as that.

T

Danville PA
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(3203 posts)
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I recently started chatting with a very cool couple. Chat with the lady one night, chat with the male half another night, hit it off (on paper) with both. Talk to my wife about meeting the couple and she told me she doesn't want me playing with women.

No problem, update my profile so no future miscommunications can happen but now I'm stuck hoping I haven't completely offended the cool couple. I suppose there's really no way around it if they don't understand, but I don't like leading people on (especially unknowingly).

I'm not really seeking any advice, just wondering what folks do when the rules change on them, either because of spousal discomfort or other reasons.

Herndon VA
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(272 posts)
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TOPIC: Changing rules