Cant Believe I Was Asked If I Would Have An Affair: Swingers Discussion 64462

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Cant Believe I Was Asked If I Would Have An Affair: Swingers Discussion 64462

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TOPIC: Cant Believe I Was Asked If I Would Have An Affair

Created by: stitchnrails	The original post for this thread was deleted.

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User Details are only visible to members.	Stich, Welcum to the forums. Yes, this is the place for opinions and advice. Lurkers has a valid point. You did start out by seeking advice, and then you added the "undisclosed" information later. Sounds like you already know the way the evening would pan out. Now if you want to add to his cheating? Go ahead and keep the date. If you do not agree, the advice was quite clear that you are inviting DRAMA into your marriage. Only you in the end can make the decision that is right for you. Lurkers just pointed it out as the drama it is unfolding into. Don't bash him cause he stated an honest opinion. Lurkers has never been anything but funny in most cases and an extremely devoted and loving couple. I have conversed off and on with him for a year. Most swingers tend to lose tolerance when someone is enabling a cheater. I am a single bi-fem and I don't condone cheating in the lifestyle either. I'd say to tell him NO THANKS! Too many quality fish in my ocean to deal with the bottom feeders. Let's move forward please and get back to the sexy fun! If you don't like your state, cum to mine. Texas is a whole nother country and we have lots of quality swingers just like the Lurkers! Anyone wanna play? RaveN ( :~
Fort Worth TX			Username hidden (8590 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	You're welcome to think what you care to think. We're two or the most understanding, caring and open minded people you're likely to meet. We don't generalize about people based on the state they live in, their preferences, their appearance or anything else. We also don't care to be played, and that's pretty much what you've done here. You started this thread looking for advice and opinions, as newbies who weren't quite sure how to respond or how to react to this situation. In the end, you show up and say "well DUH, of course we dropped him." We called you on it, asked what your intention was in even starting the thread, and now somehow that makes us rude? Have a nice life...
Willingboro NJ			Username hidden (9344 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"We are all adults here and I know we have to walk away." You say that so matter of factly now, but when you started this thread, you were asking what people would do, as though you were seeking advice as to what you should do. If you knew what to do all along, what the hell was the purpose of the thread? Was it just to exercise all of us and get us talking? Bottom line? Either you came here looking for advice, got it and now don't want to admit you didn't already realize it, or this has been a total fabrication, for what purpose, I don't know. If you intended to post this "as information" you should have completed your story, made it clear that you knew you had to cut and run made it clear it was informational only. You didn't do that, you made it clear you were looking for opinions as to what to do, how to react, etc. As the thread unfolded, you shared more details that made it more of a no-brainer, and then in the end, you get your nose out of joint? Go figure...
Willingboro NJ			Username hidden (9344 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Oh sweet jesus! If you know all these things about this man, why are you even asking the question? This guy's got trouble written all over him!!! An even better question is, knowing all of this, why are you talking to him and taking his calls? If you made plans with him before you knew all this, feel no obligation to follow through with them now, clearly the game has changed! Even more adamantly than we told you before, run, get away from this person, the quicker the better. Lies and deceipt are not what the lifestyle is about. From the ay you have described this man, he is not a swinger, he is a cheater! 'nuff said
Willingboro NJ			Username hidden (9344 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	To K & R; I would just step away from that when you can! I had a similar situation that happened with myself. Although it was after the fact (our play time), we will never see them again because of something he told me. He told a little "secret" when his wife was out of the room. I think that if they are willing to tell you something like having an affair or a little secret, they are will willing to hide other things from their wife or partner. Not a good sign!
Abbasgol Agri Turkey			Username hidden (29 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	The comment about the picky wife was the first red flag is what I said, the second was him asking if "I would have an affair". Every woman is picky to some degree, its called their preference and absolutely nothing wrong with any woman having their own sets of preferences. I am asked all the time if I swing alone, and the answer is and always will be no, and asking someone if they would consider having an affair is basically the same thing and in my world is block and delete time. It's not offensive but I wouldn't have any desire to meet a couple that you are not 100% sure (there was no mention of this picky woman being in this conversation at all or if she even existed) are even a couple from the start. Its called wasting time, in most human being lives that have jobs, family, and other things to do, they don't have a lot of time to waste to begin with. Jan
Johnstown PA			Username hidden (11993 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	It's not that the dinner itself is a particularly intimate event. It's the reasons behind the desire to meet someone that make it intimate or not... That being said, why would you choose to meet someone for dinner, if you've already gotten enough red flags from them that they've ruled themselves out as intimate partners?
Willingboro NJ			Username hidden (9344 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We didn't find the comment unreasonable at all, which is why we posted it! It's more than a presumption that we're not here to make vanilla friends, we all know why we're here. We all have the desire to share some of the most private and intimate parts of our lives with people. We're not sure about you, but that's not a decision we take lightly, for a wide range of reasons. For us to open up and share on that level, we require a strong connection with the people, and I suppose that means we are quite picky. Is it about some narrow scope of requirements, something shallow like looks or body type? Hell no, it's much deeper than that, it's about clicking on that magical level. That being said, if we make overtures towards someone in this arena, it means we're interested, and we're open to exploring the possibilities and looking for that connection. With that in mind, are we going to start down that road with someone who's already displayed a penchant for deceipt? Is that something you can build a foundation of trust upon? If this person is already talking about things like affairs before we even meet, there's a pretty strong indication that they're not on the same moral ground as us. If they're willing to go there with us, who else have they gone there with and how can we know where the truth ends and the fabrication starts? It's not like this is someone we met in the vanilla world, who might be entertaining to share a little time with, so yes, we do in fact consider all those things right from the start. Is this a person who is willing to jeopardize their own primary relationship? Are they likely to try and compromise ours? And yes, above and beyond all else, if we're to share intimacy with anyone, it implies that we trust them not to expose us to any undue health risks. Does this sound like someone you can trust on this level? Cut and run, move on...
Willingboro NJ			Username hidden (9344 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I think the health issue popped up from someone that "assumed" a level of dishonesty from a person that was blantantly asking for an affair. In regard to possible damage to a marriage. I can say that some people with forceful personalities have become the bane to some couples causing problems by trying to force a couple apart. For a person that does not listen to your rules and limitations it really is the wrong foot to start on. Most people here due to having limited time to spend to explore this lifestyle would pass this person by as someone that is most likely to cause problems, be a problem or at the very least is not compatible. People here are restrictive and limiting with their search, but who can really blame them since they are exploring a lifestyle that could damage their public image, proffessional image, cause job loss, and does increase their risk of several viruses. SO yeah it's not surprising.
Sandston VA			Username hidden (195 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	As the commercial goes, JUST SAY NO WAY! The red flag was waiving largely as soon as he stated his wife was picky. You told him you were a package deal, he proceded on and on. Delete and block, fuck the dinner, why waste the time unless you truly want to meet him. Jan
Johnstown PA			Username hidden (11993 post)

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TOPIC: Cant Believe I Was Asked If I Would Have An Affair