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Buccaneer Boots and Swinging : Swingers Discussion 2071001041
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TOPIC: Buccaneer Boots and Swinging
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"I would like to be involved in deciding who Zabrina meets, and if she should swing with him/her/them. Am I wrong? What would you do in a situation like this?"

As a mother of 4 adult children I say leave her the hell alone. At 19 she doesn't need or want your interference or guidance as I am sure you see it. You have absolutely no right to be privy to her sexual life and it seems absurd to me you'd want to be. I can't possibly know what exactly you are thinking but your comment regarding her friend Diana and your secret fantasy made my stomach turn. If she wants to swing it is her decisions, if she decides she is Bi , Gay , monogamous or an old maid is her decision. The fact that YOU have a secret fansty /desire to see her have a relationship with Diana who you don't even know more than in passing is pretty damn twisted since you make no mention of her being Bi, Bi curious or Gay for the matter. The fact that your wife was involved with a women when you met her and you found that hot and talk about your your daughter in the same sentence I find really troublesome. The fact that you want to "mentor" her into the swinging world is strange . I can't imagine for the life of me why you would want to be "involved" in her relationships sexual or otherwise. If you did your job as a parent properly she should be on solid ground regarding safety or birth control and if not it's too late to fix it now. I simply do not get it . I would never EVER introduce my child to swinging, encourage them to swing and for sure wouldn't fantasize secretly my daughter would become sexually active with a women . I support my children , I support whatever sexual choices they make for themselves but I do not see it as my place to art direct the course they chose to follow.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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My nature as a pleasure pirate is to transgress boundaries and claim booty.

My nature as a parent is to protect my sweet darling from being victimized.

Knowing that my sweet darling is now practicing mixology and disguising herself with an alternate identity gives me reason to send Krewe spies and employ spyflys. Facebook is often linked to mobile telephone, and could leave a trail to a relationship of interest.

Zazel has informed me that our daughter has purloined cigarillos from her purse on multiple occasions. A daughter with a secretive life needs a nocturnal guardian angel, even if he is a pirate.

Treasure Is FL
 
 
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Let me ask a question and drop some food for thought. If she was coming out as "gay" or open Bi. Would you still want to be as involved ?

If there is any advice to give, ** it seems to be a no brain'ur and a easy choice to me.

Let nature run it's course and just be sure to avoid each other via swinger sites. IE this is where your Mom and I are online please avoid it. And you daughter,, vice verse goes for her,, if you are on grind or the swinger version of it. We will not view or use it. Boundaries set all should navigate well. I don't see where facebook has anything to do with anything ?

Both your social circle's seem to be eclectic anyway. Should any paths happen to cross ** vanilla** I doubt there would be any huge issues.

Buford GA
 
 
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You're going to run into a HUGE internal conflict where part of you wants to protect her, and part of you knows she needs to make her own decisions. Part of being an adult requires you to make a few mistakes. Guide her, but walk the line carefully as to not "tell" her what she can or can't do. That will build resentment quickly, and shut down communications if she makes a decision that she thinks you wouldn't agree with.

Toledo OH
 
 
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Our Krewe has specific limitations and constraints. We invited a number of similar-minded, similar-culture swingers with our 'krewe' concept. You would be more likely to be considered than a younger couple or female Zabrina's age, and someone that young would probably not show interest in us. Her friend Diana did stir the dominant male swinging extinct within me, as you may have intuited.

We know that Zabrina has been to Bongos Cuban Cafe in Orlando. She would certainly excite the Latin men. With her burgundy/medium brown/blond tricolor hair and long legs, she has eye appeal. She is provocative, and I still hold her in my heart as my sweet darling. I would Like to know with whom she is considering being a swing partner. Your advice is the same for me as Zazzy's.

This transition was unexpected at this time.

Treasure Is FL
 
 
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19 is a tough age; they know little but think they know all. If she's already into NSA sex, swinging might not be a big deal for her. Don't even think about playing with any of her friends and only offer advice if she asks. Give her some space and before long she'll be coming to you for guidance. Sometimes it seems like watching a train wreck, but hang in there!

Virginia Beach VA
 
 
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For 'losamantes'

Another thought occurred when I read your reply a second time. My 'Rina' is nineteen and we also pay her as an employee working in our salon business. She attended two semesters of cosmetology school, which we paid for, and want her to continue to work for us because her artistry with hair creations contributes to our client work. Her decision to work for Hooters was her own, and we were not displeased. We have visited the restaurant where she works and know it has that youthful sex appeal and sporty theme their patrons appreciate.

This is a time of transition in my relationship with her, and I want to support her, yet my parenting instinct is to protect her from unwanted influences. She has objected to my attempt at parenting now that she is out of our home and living the single working female life.

Treasure Is FL
 
 
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Someone better have a defibrillator handy if ZZ ever saw his daughter's profile with a cert from Fun_Ahoy.

Belle Chasse LA
 
 
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Does it seem that I want to be her social director? I'll need to think about that. Since she has a Facebook profile, I would like to see who her friends are. Zazel knows some of what her activities and interests are, and Zabrina knows about our Krewe outings. When she was young, we took her in costume to the Gasparilla Fest, but have never included information about our swinging circle mates. I think that she and Zazel have talked privately about our involvement, but have not yet been told the details and have been told not to ask too many questions at this time. I know that Zazel is making sure Zabrina knows about sexual involvement limitation and pregnancy prevention, and would like to be part of that discussion.

Once when visiting us Zabrina brought a friend Diana who also worked at Hooters also. She was the kind of cocoa-colored beauty who has enticing eyes, and I was delighted to meet her. One of my own secrets would be to have Zabrina become involved with her as a lover first before she chooses a primary guy. In her young life about the time I met her, Zazel was sexually involved with another female, and it was one of the factors that made her exciting to me! This is something I have shared with Zazel, and she knows it can be one element of enjoyable swinging.

For me it would is important to know more about her friends and possibly meet some of them. Is that a reasonable request?

Treasure Is FL
 
 
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If she's over 21 and lives on her own without your support you should let her make her own choices as long as they don't affect her safety. Your experience is a great resource that you could share with her after she attends the orientation and is still interested in exploring the lifestyle. Be her mentor and not her social director and also respect the fact that she may have different swinging preferences than you.

Virginia Beach VA
 
 
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TOPIC: Buccaneer Boots and Swinging