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Bi-sexual Females : Swingers Discussion 38014
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TOPIC: Bi-sexual Females
Created by: wedou2 The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Regarding "False" play or Lying about sexual identity. I can smell them a mile away. I feel used when she's taking a "hit" for the team. It's a huge insult.

The way you can tell is subtle. If you have been with a very bi woman, the bi-faker becomes obvious. There's no energy return, no enthusiasm. She may be focused on hubby when you look up. I don't play with drunk women. Alcohol allows many women to play. If you need (lots) alcohol, I don't need you.

Regarding learning what women like. Assume she will not have an orgasm. This relieves the stress. Merely purpose to enjoy each other. I have given many lessons in my day. The myriad of ways women can touch other women, the pressure, the strength, the rhythm, using different body parts.. I still have to start from zero.. Just like you.

I watch their bodies very carefully. Nipple sensitivity varies with cycle. I ask a lot of questions. Too hard? Too light? More to the left? More to the right? Dominant or relaxed posture?

Regarding playing with women. Straight women are fairly obvious. They seem to feel the need to tell you. That's because the bifakers..push themselves on straight women. Bi women don't push. We don't have too. I wait for the energy return. No return no play. Simple.

Ladies who feel "out of water" when pleasing a lady.. Don't. Relax and play. Tension transmits easily. You will become skilled as your exploration increases. There is only one tiny secret...HAVE FUN. The rest comes out in the wash.

It's easy to feel powerful playing with men. They are made to respond, easily. That's why I think there are more het swingers. Het is very powerful. It's powerful to have learned a lady well enough to pop her cork. Like playing a musical instrument.

Just my take.

Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
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I'm the same way... but it's "bi for me". If I feel an attraction and it is mutual, then let's get to it. If I DON'T feel that attraction, then I play it straight, and STILL have a good time :) That's the beauty of being in this lifestyle... it's what WE want it to be for US :)

Hattiesburg MS
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Being bi was not new to me for this lifestyle but my sexual experiences with other women has developed with this lifestyle. I have always loved everything about women but had never dated a female. I have kissed and flirted. I did not even consider myself to be bi-curious. I just always knew that when we ventured into SLS I would be a willing participant. And it doesn't hurt that my husband also enjoys the f/f play. I would never consider playing girl on girl without my husband. We got into the lifestyle as a couple and prefer to play with couples. I do feel unsure about pleasing another woman, partly because my experience has been limited....but my current gf was listed as bi-curious...and now labels herself as "Bi for Shannon." Ego booster for sure!

Williamsport PA
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Speaking from my experiences, first if we are both attracted to a couple and if I am not attracted to the woman, then I am not actively bi in that situation and some would probably call that bi picky, which is not the case. If I am attracted to the woman, then it doesn't matter that others are in the room as long as the woman and I are comfortable. Usually, if I am working one area, the others there find other areas, whether on me or her to occupy themselves. We have been with straight couples as well, and have no problem with that either. Variety is truly the spice of life.

Jerome PA
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Agreed. And men are SO much easier to please than women anyway. All a woman needs to do to make a man exquisitely happy is get naked, give him a bj, and let him put it in and do it his way.

Women are SO much more complex! There is no simple approach, and each woman is like a new musical instrument that you need to learn how to "tune up" and how to play beautiful music on.

Bottom line: women need to be more communicative than men. Men WILL be happy with just the basics. And almost everybody DOES want very much to really please their partner, so women should feel free to provide feedback - to communicate - to let their partner know if what they are doing is really good, or if not, to redirect them to a different approach, speed, pressure, position - - whatever.

South Riding VA
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sweetblond wrote: <<I more or less do what feels good to me, what I prefer, but women are different from one to another, so it is difficult to tell if what I'm doing is working>>

Welcome to swinging, sweetie! You have just described exactly the way we men feel when with a woman we haven't been with before, or have little experience with.

This is EXACTLY why, despite the fun and excitement and adventure of swinging, the sex with others is NEVER better than what we have together at home with each other. We simply know each other so well that we know exactly which buttons to push in what sequence for best results. Everyone IS different, and it takes time and numerous repetitions to learn how to really please someone. Not that we mind the repeated encounters! :-) Some learning "curves" are more fun than others!

If you REALLY want to please, keep reading the body language and try to gently guide someone in how to please you best. Nobody likes a "do this" or "don't do that" kind of directing, but you can always say "I really love it when . . " or " . . . . works better for me than . . . . "

I just love those people who so WANT to please the person they are with!

Jim

South Riding VA
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content ..........thats not always a good way to find out. In our case we only play when we are together.we do not go off seperate nights.If we are at a party and she wanted to go off by herself that is fine, its fine with a male or female for her to go off on her own.This does not mean she is not bi it just means when we play we play when we don't we don't

Sarasota FL
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For one thing, it depends upon how and when the question is asked. There is a thread in the singles forum about this very thing. For the most part, I think I would find a question like that a bit insulting. For one, as the 'other half', my first reaction to that would be, "What, I'm not good enough, but Jen is?" Not necessarily an accurate reaction in this context, but we all have our insecurities. Second, if, it is asked in the contest of a test of her veracity in claiming to be bi, not in the context mentioned earlier, then it seems a bit insulting that our honesty is being called into question before even speaking or meeting. Last, I would also question whether the questioner had read our profile, as it clearly states that we do not play alone.

I would be more inclined to observe the couple when we meet; Jen's a big flirt, especially with the ladies. While I can be dense as a post, she can usually pick up on the vibes from the other lady. Then, if bi was that important to the mix, the ladies could discreetly talk out of ear-shot. If there wasn't something clicking, for whatever reason, we could finish the evening of dining, dancing or whatever, and not play. Then a polite message later about incompatibilities. That's one of the reasons we don't expect to play on the first or any date.

That's just how we prefer to operate. Mileage may vary. If Jen is really aching for a ladies touch, we usually look to a single female, that way they have more time together. I'm a BIG voyeur.

Kirk - (Stepping down from the podium)

Muncie IN
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content,

Jen is very bi. She was bi before we even met, she's had exclusive relationships with women. The only hitch is that we don't play alone. ( Mutual decision, not me dictating. ) At least not to begin with. Being good trusted friends with another couple or female. COULD be a different story. It's a matter of trust (the other couple/female, not spouse), comfort, and respect for us as a couple. We're in the lifestyle for our mutual pleasure as a couple. This is why we're not interested in the, "I'll play with the female, then MAYBE SOMEDAY your husband can join," type of single female. Solo play would be more along the lines of one of us being unable to join in ( working overtime, sick, etc. ). Then it would be a per-situation thing. Asking the lady to play alone, IMHO, is sure to weed out the insincere, but it might cull some true bi experiences, also.

Kirk

Muncie IN
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There are quite a few out there fulfilling what their hubbys want. we have run into so many that say they are bi , when it comes down to it they want it all to happen to them but not interested in returning the favor, just selfish people. Why lie, say how it is before hand and its all workable. We are not asking for the lady to be aggressive,just let us in on a secret that its not about being bi but about the hubby So many we have chatted with have bi listed but they are not bi. They have it listed as it gives them more opportunities to meet others.

Sarasota FL
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TOPIC: Bi-sexual Females