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Approaching people in real life advice : Swingers Discussion 193503
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TOPIC: Approaching people in real life advice
Created by: lovethebeach25 The original post for this thread was deleted.
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I wonder if anyone else has had this kind of experience:

A few years ago we were at a wedding, some activity friends of Mrs. We did not know most of the people there.

One of the couples there was a guy who was one of the cousins, and his super hot Latina wife. We had been to a few LS parties by then, and there was something about them that seemed like they may have been into the LS. (Mrs. thought so too, not just me.) We ate dinner at their table, and chit chatted vanilla-style, nothing too flirty except various mutual compliments about each other’s F halves and how great they looked, just a good dinner connection with strangers at a wedding.

A little later I went out for a smoke and the guy was out there having a cigar. No one else was around.

I got a very definite feeling that we both may have been wondering the same thing about each other. I asked him where they were from, and in his answer he also mentioned that maybe they might go out afterwards and that they had a nice hotel room at the place where the wedding was. (We were local.) I could not help wondering why he had offered this extra information in response to my asking simply where they were from, other than as a subtle way to lead up to the subject and see what I would say, trying to feel me out whether we too were in the LS. I can’t remember quite what I said in response but it was a kind of subtle further chess move in this “are you guys, too?” conversation. He then said something else which seemed to be his next chess move.

But just then some other people came out to the smoking area, so that was the end of that. I did not try to follow up on the conversation, because I felt that had been the moment if any, and to do any more would have been indiscreet.

Sometimes I wish I had played it differently, maybe would have led to a wild surprise ending to the night. But the risk of being mistaken was way too huge to do anything more direct or overt.

We still fantasize sometimes about “what if?” though.

Albany NY
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We have found plenty of our vanilla friends would rather cheat than share someone"

this is an amazing fact. I have a vanilla friend...she likes fucking other guys herself, but cannot fathom the idea of her husband fucking another woman. And if he did, she wants to know nothing about it. Its just how lots and lots of people are.


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Our question is how to approach singles/couples in real life with the possibility of swinging with us?"

I do not ever. Even IF I saw you on sls....if we are at a vanilla bar/club

1. I don't know if your friends are vanilla....because I'm a swinger, I have lots and lots of vanilla friends 2. I don't know if tonight, you are just out chilling as a couple. Because I am a swinger, it does not mean that every time I'm out I'm looking to fuck.

I never approach anyone. I keep meaning to wear an sls tee, just to see if anyone knows what it is...but myself, I never walk up to anyone.


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I agree, vanilla and swinging don't mix well, and it is not easy to tell who is open to it and who isn't. Also, people will gossip. We have found plenty of our vanilla friends would rather cheat than share someone.

Quakertown PA
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Mileage may very...

We have found through the years the vanilla and swing world don't usually mix well. If, as you indicated, you want your lifestyle to stay private, trying to play with vanilla friends would probably not be a good idea. People in the lifestyle typically either also want to stay private, or at least have an understanding not to kiss and tell. Outting in the lifestyle is a big no no.

We find vanilla love to gossip.... "hey, did you know so and so made a pass at.... Do you think they are swingers? Oh my, get Jane down the steet on the phone."

Now, if you don't care about the neighborhood talking, see what the hairdresser is doing next Saturday.

Good luck.

Harmony FL
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TOPIC: Approaching people in real life advice