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Any idea on how to explain all these nights out : Swingers Discussion 220214101
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TOPIC: Any idea on how to explain all these nights out
Created by: lotsopeeps
Original Starting post for this thread:
We have extended family living with us right now and while it's nice to have a live-in babysitter, it's complicated to explain where we are going all the time. We are new to the lifestyle and all of the sudden we have all these dinner dates with couples our family never heard of. Or we are suddenly dressing up to go out "dancing" on a Saturday which we didn't use to do, followed by staying til the wee hours of the night, also something we never used to do. And then the questions of where, who and what get confusing. We don't give any more information than we need to. Is this just to complicated to do when you have family asking questions?!?! We only get out two or three times a month, but since she lives here, she sees and hears and picks up on who know what. Any ideas on how to handle this better?

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BTW, my parents were swingers too. I guess it runs in the family. LOL I knew by time I was 7!

Joliet IL
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Well, if she keeps snooping about then I would just tell her that you are going out to get away from her prying eyes and ears! LOL

Joliet IL
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By the way, all your kids will likely find out and just never say anything to you. It's the little things when they grow up and are exposed to life and then it will click. First they will be grossed out, then they will shutter every time they think about it, they it just won't be a big deal. How do I know this? My parents were ranging swingers. It really got to me at first but now it's not a big deal, I just don't want to hear about it. Plus the mentality of the up coming generations are going to be far more lax about the meaning and dynamics of relationships. Or maybe I just live in Portland and it's a Portland thing.

But when people ask we just say that we're working on our relationship and we've learned that we need to go out more. If they ask further then I say we went out dancing and I don't remember much more than that, thanks vodka!

Aloha OR
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We have the same issue, and have for years... We have a large family, and both my sisters live close by. My oldest sister is very nosy.

There's no way we could just say "It's none of your business." We love our family and rely on them for so much.

Pittsburgh PA
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very well said.

San Antonio TX
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Thank you everyone. We have gone with "we are going on a date" because, well, we are! They just don't realize that our date includes others, haha! So far, it's been great and no hassles from the family about where we've been. I think I tend to over estimate how much people pay attention to things outside their own life.

Bloomsburg PA
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I find it best to add a bit of truth into any explanation. Our friends with kids tell their kids they're going out to friends' house, to a club, to a party, out dancing, drinking and since there will be alcohol, they're probably staying most of the night so they won't be driving home after drinking. Sometimes they tell them they're going to go watch movies w/ us at our house, just for a night away, etc. It almost always has just enough truth not to sound weird.

It's that guilty "thing" that makes people nervous about telling their kids anything. Don't let that get to you. You have a right to go have fun w/o telling your kids all the details. Our friends' teenagers complain sometimes b/c their parents seem to be having more fun and a bigger social life than they, and our friends just answer that with a "yes, we do."

Gina

San Antonio TX
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To our friends in the lifestyle and our open minded Vanilla friends and even some family, we own and operate a small chain of social and swing clubs. To others and to most family, we run an "event and social planning, recreation, and travel consulting company"...Both statements are true

Rosemont IL
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Our rule is anyone who's life is effected by our swinging is told the reason. But not every couple is afforded such luxury in the people they associate with personally and professionally. Just tell them you guys are just enjoying the ability to live like a younger couple again and make sure your babysitter is considered and compensated for the new freedoms they have allowed you.

Sierra Vista AZ
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Our standard answers are "Date night" or "Meeting some friends".

We have also told them that we are going to a wild party and we were going to "Get down". To which my youngest daughter said "Don't do that Dad, you won't be able to get back up".

I really don't think that they would believe we are going to any sort of wild party especially a SLS type party. I am sure they think we go and sit around and BS with other "Old" people. lol

Emlenton PA
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TOPIC: Any idea on how to explain all these nights out