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TOPIC: would_u_
Created by: buddd
Original Starting post for this thread:
would u let your partner swing with a person u didnt like but they had a attraction

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We've had many experiences where either of us has "veto'd" a situation. This mostly happened in the beginning when we were still trying to figure things out.

Wailuku HI
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What 4real said

Tramp

Alpharetta GA
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We have the same "rule". Even though its called "veto", we use it more of a "something doesn't quite feel right. This might sound odd.... We are both moderately connected to the "force" if you will. When you have a feeling that something is not going right, (or something is about to go wrong), we feel it. We KNOW it. It's hard to describe to someone that doesn't have the same "gift". That is the driving force. Please note, we like couple swaps (4-ways), so, we really don't go off without the other often.

As the male, I can get "caught up in the chase", and the little head has veto power over the bigger head. So, what I think is a good idea, may not be. If things are ready to get started, I explain, let's check with my wife. There was only once she gave me the signal, NO. I respected her decision, and told "potential playmate", "Not at this time, I'm sorry."

She has once said, I want to go fuck SOandSO. But he's an asshole, I replied. She said, I know. He thinks he's all that, and I'm going to make him cum really quick, because I CAN. She returned in 15 minutes, and he was so worn out, he had no game left for the rest of the night. IT WAS PRICELESS !!!

Bottom line. The veto power is a set of "guide lines" not a law.

Leominster MA
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When we were swinging we found a lot of people with the views expressed by the majority here, that each in the couple had veto power over the entire arrangement, and we had an ambiguous sort of feeling about it -- sad that they were missing out on so much fun, angry when it manifested itself in the "You can't have my piece of meat unless I can have yours" control trip. What an incredibly disrespectful view toward one's partner in life! That was predominantly a male attitude of course, and we didn't play when that attitude cropped up [except once, and that was because his lady friend (not his wife; in fact she was married to someone else and swinging with his permission) talked him into letting her swing with me, and before we accepted we made it clear my wife wasn't going to swing with him. He accepted that. She and I had great fun, and then they left. We figured we would never see them again. Three weeks later he called and said they would like to come down again and see us, and we said no. But he pleaded, because he said his girlfriend wanted to and refused to swing with him any more unless he made his best effort to set it up. So we cautiously agreed, making it very clear my wife was not going to swing with him. He accepted that. They came down; the lady half and I went off and had a glorious time of it, and we were just finishing up when he burst into the room angrily and told her "C'mon! Get your stuff! We're leaving!" She gathered her stuff and he glared at me and made some comment like "You ripped me off!" I shrugged, "I explained it to you, and you agreed." He stomped off and out the door, dragging her by the wrist. She blew me a kiss as she disappeared out the door. I asked my wife what the hell happened? She said, "We sat her just talking, or rather trying to think of something to talk about, and finally he looked at me and said "Aren't we going to do anything?' and I said no; we told you I wasn't. And he blew a fuse."

All in all we had a pretty wonderful time in swinging, and that was really the only time the ugly attitude of exploitation directly involved us, but we saw a lot of it with other couples and we just stayed away from them. Of course we did swing with numerous couples who doubtless had that same attitude, but it never came to the forefront because we all liked each other. But we also had a lot of fun with couples in which one partner just didn't jibe, but they were adult and self-confident enough to be comfortable with it, so one of us did and the other two sat around telling jokes to each other and eating horsey-durvies. :) I guess the difference with us was that we were into swinging because we each wanted the other to have lots of fun, not because we wanted to use each other to have our own fun. Of course, like others have said here, we each had veto power over the whole shebang if the vibes were off; if it felt like something shady was going on.

Still, that point of view of many swinging couples is why I'm not trying to swing with anyone today even though I have approval to hang around in the Naturist community (that's been for years), and more recently she has accepted my hanging around in the Swinging community knowing what could happen. But I want her to get interested again before I start seeking any friends with benefits. And none of this is intended as an insult to anyone's lifestyle; we all do what we are comfortable with and play with others who are comfortable.

Payson AZ
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We have an agreement that we must be comfortable with the couple. All four must get along or there is no play at all.

Saddle Brook NJ
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To the OP, nope. Each has what we call first right of refusal, however, it has only been exercised one time. Go ahead, wear a New England Patriot's jersey.. I dare ya...

Bensalem PA
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Yes I would as long as I am along to make sure that she is safe.

Tripoli IA
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It's never come up with us before. We have a "we both play or no way" rule. So if we are not compatible with both members of the other couple we simply pass. It's. Nothing personal and hopefully they understand that. We a still newbies so if the situation presents it's self in the future we will deal with it. Ps if this message post twice we have no idea why maybe out computer has a sticky enter key?

New York NY
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Absolutely! We recognize that 4-way 'sparks' are actually pretty uncommon. Having said that, we do keep our antennae out for each other's feelings and if it's just going to cause too much drama, we'd give it a pass. We're both adults and capable of making our own decisions based on our agreed ground rules.

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No way in hell!!!! We had a couple that was hitting on MRs Naughty the other night at the club. They were just interested in her. We explained that we only play together and if the husband was interested in MFM (the wife did not play with other men at all) then we would be cool. He said that might work and walked off. Well later they both approached her again while i was talking to others and tried to convince her to go with them. OOOOOOOOOOPOPPsss wrong move MFers now they know nothing will ever happen as they showed us great disrespect with that bonehead move. Didnt hurt my feelings one bit eithier. I hate pushy people

Delta PA
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TOPIC: would u
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