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Swinging, cheating morals : Swingers Discussion 1178331021
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TOPIC: Swinging, cheating morals
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An old friend once told me that some women can be very selfish. Since your wife cannot get her way the party is over.

Madison Twp PA
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How many of you would get bent out of shape if your spouse eagerly did things with others with enthusiasum and wouldn't share it on the same level with you?"

I can agree with you on this. Jay loves anal. I do not. I would not blame him if I were to be letting some other man fuck me anally, loving it and not let him. Yeah, I can see where that would piss him off. In your case however, I think all swinging should stop... and I do not think she necessarily hates you. I know for me as a woman, usually its how we see ourselves that determines our sexuality. Maybe she does not feel good about her own body and herself...it very well may have nothing to do with you, she just doesn't feel good about herself. Either way you need to stop swinging and seek counseling.


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more4, going from your original post I would suggest you seek marital counseling immediately. When swinging becomes a necessity in your relationship you are in trouble. This is an enhancement, not a replacement or necessity. I cannot speak for your wife and will not judge her because I do not know what is causing her to behave this way. But I would definately seek counseling.


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And one more thing. State how long you have been married, how many times you have been divorced and if you have questioned the moral issue of the lifestyle.

Templeton CA
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The reason I am here on this forum is because we have been in the lifestyle for so long and everyone seems reasonable. How do you think a counsler will consider our swinging? I don't think she hates me. She does have problems with resentment of many things and the bedroom is where she choses to show it. I agree that she and I could both use counseling. I got her to go with me to a seminar last week on self happiness and well being but it didn't scratch the surface. On the other hand, maybe she does hate me. I know she doesn't like herself nor where we are in life. it does seem like we are friends but everytime I suggest that her feelings for me are not 'love' she retorts that I do not know how she feels and she gets quite indignant about it. It's all quite strange. We seemd resonably ok for the 18 or so years we activley played with others. But with the exception of when she was cheating behind my back, our sex life has never come easy. When I try to talk to her she accuses me of putting her down and that I talk too much. And don't get me wrong, She and I have had GREAT sex. She says that I don't know the differance between love and sex. That is not the case. How many of you would get bent out of shape if your spouse eagerly did things with others with enthusiasum and wouldn't share it on the same level with you?

I figure few counslers will be in tune with the Lifestyle.

Templeton CA
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First, you have every right to be outraged that she was cheating on you. Cheating is not having sex with others, it's being unfaithful behind your spouse's back without their knowledge! HUGE difference. One is a jointly enjoyed pleasure. The other is deceitful and deliberate breaking of the bond of trust between you.

I honestly think that your wife needs some extended counseling, which she might not even consider. If not, it's doubtful that things will get any better at home. In that case you will have to choose between a marriage with a virtually non-existent sex life and biting the bullet and going for divorce and a chance to start over.

Good luck. You're in an unbearable situation and we feel bad for you.

Jim

South Riding VA
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We have been married 28 years and grew up going to church which is where we met. Wife and I were each others first . . .me not for lack of trying, just how it worked out. After a short while our sex life existed because I begged for it and she gave in once in a while. But I discovered that when we talked about our fantisies, she would be turned on. So I steered ourconversations to swinging and that made her really hot. we succesfully entered into the lifestyle and enjoyed other couples 3-5 times a year. I noticed that when she was with other men, she was blowing them, she would climb on top of them and ride them like Seabiscut. She was really hot and worked up. At home, our sex life was usually her on her side with her back to me, I had to ask for it and blow jobs were once a year. About four years ago our sex life went crazy. It was so good. Forr about six months I was such a stud. We were making love up to 2-3 times a day or at least 6-7 times a week and I was making her cum everytime. It was so hot. I then quite accidentlly found out she was "dating" about 15 married guys on her own. Her reply to me was "swinging was just as bad and it is all wrong". She couldn't understand why I was so upset. "our sex life is so good why are you complaining"? I said Cheating is Cheating and I felt betrayed. Now after catching her several times over the last four years, she has indeed stopped. But she has let her pubic hair grow out, she refuses to let me go down on her at all and has told me to stop trying. She will let me fuck her but there is no passion or movement from her. she won't touch my dick with her hands or mouth and anal is out of the question. She said swinging was just as bad as her meeting guys on the side and she loved all of it. Has anyone else had this struggle with upbringing, morals, cheating or whatever and is there any hope for our sex life or is it just been given a death sentance? I did get really pissed when I knew she was out blowing some dude and yet she would not do it to me. I just feel cheated. She says she loves me but I don't feel like it. She has killed our sex life and I am not ready to let it die yet.

Templeton CA
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TOPIC: Swinging, cheating morals