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Straight couple Bitchfest : Swingers Discussion 1028731051
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TOPIC: Straight couple Bitchfest
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I think where the miscommunications happen between bi and st8 is may be that st8 women are being so "cautious" as not to appear to have any interest in the bi-wife that their pendulum swings so far in the other direction that the approach ends up backfiring on them. I can't remember ever having a bi-female use that tactic on me but I'm sure they are out there. You have to go through one spouse to get to the other. Its just respect all around.

Mountain Ranch CA
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...and whats more amusing... they will wait until I've gotten up from the table to go to the restroom and then make the b-line to my husband. Amazing.

Mountain Ranch CA
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Lost - I haven't had a lot of st8 ladies approach us, but those that have... I would say half of them have "ignored" me. They made a b-line straight to my husband and started flirting and acted like I didn't even exist. Thats not nice.

Mountain Ranch CA
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Simba, agreed. I think thats a female thing, not just a bifem thing to be honest. Jay was talking with a straight lady, this was some time ago. And I saw her correspondence to him which said "is SHE going to be there"...I think we have discussed whether or not "she" was disrespectful in the past haha. To THIS she it was, especially since she never even said as much as hello to me at all...like you described in your post Simbaxxx. So I told her straight that this she does have a name and before she gets into his boxers (this she does wash them, after all) SHE had better get it straight that respect is deserved and in order. So she told me the dumbest thing I think I've ever been told....she said "well I am straight and don't want to fuck you. Why do I need to talk to you". Hmmm. You can imagine my reply so I don't think I have to tell you what I said. Ha. So I think that bifems may be more fastidious about it but definately all women are to some degree. Shell

San Marcos TX
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2InVT you may be right. I know if a male approaches me and flirts up a storm and doesn't say squat to my husband to bond with him.... things won't go well later.

Mountain Ranch CA
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2 in regards to your first response to my post... I absolutely agree and forgive me if I implied that any woman or man should just completely ignore the one they do not want to fuck. You are telling the TROOF my sister, the one sure way to an ass chewing is to not pay respect to both partners...especially the wife cause thats girl law! Ha. You are 100% correct on that part. If I implied that y'all please forgive me, I haven't eaten so my glucose is low...I'm thinking lower than normal which isn't too high to begin with ha. And you are right. I have often said that bi ladies have been quite respectful of me...I was talking about what I am thinking in regards of how to approach them. Shell

San Marcos TX
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" If I go up to the wife as is expected because its a female respect issue right.."

Yes, I think that is how many bi-fems perceive it. No doubt about it... st8 women are having to skirt a fine line. They need to show respect to the bi-wife by acknowledging her with intial bonding "chit chat" but not be perceived as showing sexual interest in the bi-fem. How do you do that? Don't flirt with the bi-fem. Treat her like your vanilla friend and ask her if she is enjoying the food or if she likes the music or whatever. Keep the conversation non-sexual and tell her that you are str8 and are really interested in her handsome husband. Many bi fems you have to go through the wife to get to the husband. Matter of respect. Don't ask me why it has developed that way... it just seem that many bi-fems work that way. Once the bi fems likes the st8 lady...she'll hand over her husband with ease. If you go around her and try to get to her husband... you are being disrespectful. Now... obviously not all bi fems work this way or have this mentality but MANY that I know do. So, heads up St8 ladies when you are wondering why that bi-fem wife is giving you that funny look for flirting up a storm with her husband and you haven't said two words to her.

Mountain Ranch CA
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"I think one of the "wrong rubs" that happens between bi fems and st8 fems is the difference in approaches. Many bi fems approach the female of the couple first to establish a bond (regardless if she plans on playing with the female). Whereas many st8 females (not all but many) approach the male half of the couple first and don't even try to establish any bond with his wife. This ass backwards for many bi fems."

Simbaxx as usual you are sooo accurate. Well in truth I do understand this. I also understand that a woman who is here to explore her bisexuality will not want to play with us....why when I am straight? I completely understand and it makes perfect sense that a bifem would not want to play with us in that regard. Its a hard spot I'm in as a str8 lady in that regard though, and hear me out. My thing is this. If I go up to the wife as is expected because its a female respect issue right...then I'm always concerned that this may be received as I am flirting with her....and so I get all of these concerns in my head. And yes, I know that bifems do not want to boink every woman they meet. But I do not play with people's minds or emotions so I don't want to lead anyone on. Then if we do go to the husband and flirt as most str8 women admittedly do the wife does get agitated and I'll be honest.....acts threatened and dare I say jealous. Now I'm not in her head so i don't know if this is what she is thinking but I'll be straight and say thats how I perceive it. Like she dare not give me attention? How dare she. But why would a str8 woman flirt with a bisexual woman when we have no intention of having sex with her? Now I'm not talking about showing her proper respect as the wife...thats a MUST DO requirement. I don't know...but thats always what I'm thinking when we are interested in couples where the wife is bi. I'll be honest. I love men. I love the male body, their smell, their attitude, I'm a girl who really digs cock and all that this implies ha. So it is my natural tendency to flirt with the husband. Oh well, perhaps I think too much. Shell

San Marcos TX
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"Unfortunately, that woman's husband is Paula's favorite playmate, so she has been careful not to show her anger and just to say "no" as often as necessary."

Oh now THAT would be awkward! That bi woman is a putz! What the hell is her problem... I'll never understand bi fems that do that.

"We also appreciate the absence of distractions of others in the room, especially if they are in the same bed. Playing with someone other than your spouse can be stimulating enough, without being impinged upon by the sights, sounds, and motions of other people playing. "

Bingo! THERE is the big difference of people that ENJOY seperate rooms/alone time vs those that don't. Others in the room are seen as distractions, whereas we would see others in the same room as stimulating. For us, playing with someone else other than your spouse IS NOT stimulating enough alone, so we need the added element of a lot of different stimuli coming at us with others in the room for it to reach that level of excitment. Our idea of a great evening is about 30 naked bodies all in one room. All the sights, sounds and smells of all those different couples going at it around us is exhilarating.

Mountain Ranch CA
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Exactly, 2inVT. We play separately at private house parties, but would never dream of doing that at a club unless it was with someone we already knew and trusted. And we definitely do prefer separate rooms. It does make for nice one-on-ones and Paula knows she won't get mauled by some bi-fem who doesn't give a damn that Paula is straight. Unfortunately that has happened in open group settings, and one woman has repeatedly attempted to go down on Paula even though she KNOWS that Paula is straight. She's the one who has told Paula multiple times "Oh you are too bi, you just don't know it yet."

Unfortunately, that woman's husband is Paula's favorite playmate, so she has been careful not to show her anger and just to say "no" as often as necessary.

We also appreciate the absence of distractions of others in the room, especially if they are in the same bed. Playing with someone other than your spouse can be stimulating enough, without being impinged upon by the sights, sounds, and motions of other people playing. And if it's just with one other couple, then there is a feeling of pressure to not finish before your spouse and playmate are finished, or if they finish first, you feel pressured to hurry up.

Lots & lots of reasons why some swingers prefer to play separately, although clearly that's not an option for women who want f-f play. It works just fine for straight women, though.

Different strokes for different folks, and sometimes different strokes in different settings, too. It's wise for all of us to remember that not everyone wants what we want or likes what we like.

Jim

South Riding VA
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TOPIC: Straight couple Bitchfest