Half Clicking: Swingers Discussion 538471021

155
Half Clicking: Swingers Discussion 538471021

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User Details are only visible to members.	simba ; you should get a column here for advice , you hit it on the head,and quite legibly lol some times people do not realize how much communication is key to entering this lifestyle, that you need to talk more after begining this than ever before , your advice was well said kudos
Burlingham NY			Username hidden (9262 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	lvcpl - now why would a wife push her husband to have sex with a woman he had stated he had no attraction.... but the same wife would have problems with a woman that you had obvious attracton towards... hmmmmmm ? I think the answer is kinda obvious.... The issue I'm having problems with is her lack of concern when you don't want to play with a couple and she really wants the man and you are "forced" to proceed in the situation. I would lay the law down with her for the future and tell her that you refuse to do another one for the team... its not fair to you just like it wouldn't be fair if you "forced" her to do one for the team. Just be blunt about it and state its a no deal for you no matter how attracted she is to the other guy. Since like yourselves many couples don't play separate this is the one problem many couples have in deciding on a playmates.. both having attractions for both.. its very tough. Consequently, you don't play as much and rightly so... no one should have to compromise their parameters and boundaries. So you have a two fold problem... her insecurity for you with women you show obvious affection towards and her inability to accept your decision on couples that you have no attraction and don't want to play with.... lots of talking to do!! Good luck!
Mountain Ranch CA			Username hidden (8750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	lvcpl - it sounds like Mrs has some insecurity issues that you need to talk about. She has a pattern it seems and until you address whats at the core it will continue. It maybe she simply isn't comfortable with you playing and enjoying other women and doesn't want to come out and say it. I would approach this situation like this... tell the Mrs the pattern you are seeing and that you would like to eliminate any future play with couples and only have MFM because you don't think she is ready for MFMF situations. If she feels at some point that she wants to pursue MFMF situations then you are going to leave it completely in her hands and let her do the contacting the surfing and choosing of the couple. Then eventually once she does pick a couple out down the road..... don't make a real issue with openingly flirting with the other woman and show your wife a lot of attention..repeatedly during the course of the meeting with them. Show interest in the other female but don't be overt about it. Keep enforcing your wife and how she is enjoying the evening and things... and keep your comments to the other woman low profile. Eventually you'll progress or retreat depending on how you are reading your wife's actions and reactions...it will be a slow process but with insecurity issues it's going to have to be a slow process... or no process.
Mountain Ranch CA			Username hidden (8750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We both like to feel an attraction to the other couple we are with. If all 4 do not have an attraction, we do not play. We don't like to have anyone feel that they have to do anything they do not want. Attraction of all 4 in the group is a must for us. Mrs. Nib
Dayton OH			Username hidden (814 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	That would be taking one for the team... and if the roles were reversed it wouldnt' be any better....so the answer is NEVER
Mountain Ranch CA			Username hidden (8750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Dave, it's also a tough time of the year for folks. Many of us are running like crazy trying to get through these holidays so time in the forums is very limited. Be patient, and hopefully you'll get some answers. As far as we're concerned, neither of us will take one for the team so if there isn't 4 way attraction we just don't play. Be well and Happy New Year!
Center Valley PA			Username hidden (8529 post)

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