We're comfortable with same or separate room but prefer separate. One thing we've learned over the years of swinging is that we are much better lovers when we're one on one with our partner with no distractions, and giving or receiving the big O is somewhat easier, and we can have a stonger connection with the person we're with.

We've done the 3some, 4some, moresome, and alot moresome (lol) and enjoyed every single encounter. We won't ever turn down a good orgy with our closest friends, but now private time is what we prefer.

offroadsgirl--welcome to the forums!

Ditto for us!

Chim- I find it interesting and very confirming to me personally to hear that Mrs Chim plays just as I do. It can be distracting at it's worst, but generally, I don't get off so much on watching him play. I am VERY happy that he enjoys it, but I generally don't find it stimulating nor instructional. I already know how to do my man. Does that mean I am unwilling to learn something new? Not at all. I just can't take in a lesson or watch his pleasure when my body is being treated to some hot man's tongue and hands all over it.

We play in the same room only. We enjoy watching each other with the other person. Not to say we wouldn't ever play in separate rooms with our current friends it they wanted to, but would never do separate rooms for the first time with someone. I want to make sure my wife is treated properly.

we second Jim's post -- and will add a couple of thoughts. We often start with same room soft play to kind of set the scene and get comfy, but split when intercourse appears imminent, because 1) the wife is not a voyeur. She is "in the moment" with her partner and doesn't care to watch me and mine. 2) I find it very difficult to give full attention to my partner -- which I think she deserves -- if my wife is also active in the same room (although we sometimes do cross-hall open door play). 3) If we want to view sex as a spectator sport we will rent a porn flick. 4) Yes, we have done same room stuff when another couple wasn't comfortable doing separate, but frankly, we have found (in our long experience) that most mature cpls really prefer separate in any case, so it is seldom an issue.

Welcome to the forums, mcor. But wow, that was a post that reveals extreme mistrust. I doubt that is an issue for very many swingers. Swinging couples who don't trust each other won't make it very long in swinging, and probably not in their relationships, either. People have all sorts of preferences that stem from all sorts of motivations. It depends on so many different variables that it's folly to generalize. In our case, for example, my wife just won't have an orgasm if there are others in the room whose sounds and actions are distracting to her. It has nothing whatsoever to do with trying to be sneaky about what we do. We also long ago gave up having "rules." We trust each other completely, so we know we're going home to our normal, routine, regular life no matter what we do with whom while swinging. What matters is our relationship, not whether she or I do something we usually don't when swinging. Swinging is all about novel experiences, and if two people decide mutually that it would be fun to do something, then go for it! Swinging is freedom, not chains that restrict what you do. As long as I know she's going home with me, and WANTS to go home with me, why should I care if she wants to do something in another room that gives her more excitement and/or pleasure? It doesn't hurt me, and besides, it only enhances the bond between us because of the gratitude we feel that we give each other the freedom to find maximum pleasure in a swinging experience. Always remember that every individual has a different life experience and a different relationship and different preferences. Nobody's preferences are the "right" way or the "wrong" way. Just different. And Viva La Difference! If everybody were the same, we'd have quit swinging shortly after we began. So tolerance of others' preferences is appropriate, and intolerance is not. I do think, though, that if your insistence on same room play is because you don't trust each other enough to play out of each other's sight, then you have a lot bigger issues than just whether or not you play in the same room. Jim

First, let me say that we're comfortable with either same-room or different-room playing...whatever everyone is happiest with. Having said that, we've found that different rooms, with the doors open so everyone can hear, can be highly erotic. It's also much less distracting, allowing us to focus our attention on whomever we're with. She's had instances where the M she's with would spend so much time watching his wife and I that she'd start feeling slighted. We recognize that not everyone shares our preferences and that, for some, it can be a security issue too. Not to make a bad pun (I'd Never do That <LOL>), but "Different strokes for different folks!"

same room only. we like lots of for-play and games so it takes 1 room to do it. we have had a couple say they don't play together and we told them we do so we didn't play. i love seeing my wife, we like the noises because they are making them next to each other. plus there are the normal reasons security helping the other half out if issue ect..

To each their own, and you're right- some refuse separate room swap but we both just find it too distracting. It's the voyeur in each of us I guess.

We can play same or separate room but it has always been same room. Some folks won't do separate and we really don't care either way. Also I can't say there has ever been a distraction issue. To be honest I get into it to the point I forget to watch Wifey getting nailed!

There's an issue of safety in meeting the first time.
Then in the bedroom he gets turned on seeing/hearing her giving & receiving pleasure. She likes seeing him perform, pleasuring another woman (knowing what it feels like). And she has a bit of an exhibitionism thing so she likes being watched.

When we have established a relationship we've both played separately.