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For those who state No single men or something to that effect : Swingers Discussion 621121061
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsStraight CouplesFor those who state No single men or something to that effect
TOPIC: For those who state No single men or something to that effect
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Interesting discussion! I've never been part of a couple but I have participated in the lifestyle for ten years, usually with couples. It's interesting to hear what they say about my peers. I find this issue very easy to navigate- if a couple says they are not interested in single males, I don't write them. If they are open to males and I write them but they are not interested in me, then I appreciate their honesty and I move on. As a thinking person who has the human capability to feel attraction or not feel attraction, I understand this and I respect people's choices. I can't help but wonder after all these years what defect in some guys' thought process seems to create this problem, and based on my participation on 'regular' dating sites, it seems like there are far more idiots here than in regular dating. It's convenient to say that they are drawn by the possibility of sex, but I wonder if there's something at play in some other part of their psyche. While I am extremely grateful to the people in the lifestyle who have taken the time to get to know me and who have become friends, I am still endlessly embarassed by some of my fellow men (and I use the term loosely). The only thing I can recommend is to ignore them, since some may just be attention-seekers or may have ego-problems.

Lawrenceville GA
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I would say that about a full third of the contact we get, whether through email, instant messages or private messages in the chat room are from single men. Our profile, while not blocked to singles, because we do have a few friends here we dont' wish to block, clearly states in about 5 different ways and places that we're NOT looking for single men.

As far as the site providing a way of letting single men know that couples are interested, they already have one, in the form of those little sliding bars next to "couples" "single men" and "single women." Look how many single guys ignore those, why would they pay attention to some other cutesy symbol, or lack thereof?

As to the decent single guys out there, thank you for being decent. It's a shame that there's enough of the other category out there that they screw it up for all of you!

Willingboro NJ
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Harrassment by any member should not be tolerated. Please do report them. Also explain to tech support that you have blocked him and he's finding away around it. I don't know how that is, but I'm sure they could fix it.

The thing I find interesting are the number of couples that in their profile section of "Who Are you looking for" they will mark that they have an interest in single males, but then in their profile write up they state they don't want to be contacted by single males. Though I can understand the concept that only single Males that don't read their profile write them I feel that they are helping create the problem by listing an interest in single males to begin with.

Personally I only use the function of search which selects profiles which have listed an interest in single males. This removes all the profiles that don't have that interest listed from the search results.

Sandston VA
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You should most definitely report this guy to TechSupport and/or Webmaster.

South Riding VA
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This is the wife of this couple writing:

At first, we were inundated by wishful thinking single men. We've gradually experimented with our profile to get the message clearly across without deterring couples or sounding rude. Unfortunately, though, there is one particular member, whose intitials are "TC" (not the person's member ID), who continues to harass us on every site we ever appear. He's a VIP member here, so he's unfortunately been able to get around blocking mechanisms. He's constantly trying to get me to go alone to play with him behind my husband's back. His profile shows that he's a couple, but messages from him never make any mention of his girlfriend's/wife's existence. I am extremely not attracted to him. To be exceptionally polite, I thinks he's very ugly. We are constantly baffled by the fact even though he is well known in the San Francisco Bay Area, is a long-time veteran swinger, hosts local parties, and is a VIP member of this site, he absolutely refuses to take NO for an answer. He has even gone so far as to get other members of this site to try to persuade me to give him a chance. We've even cancelled plans to attend several hot parties because he would be attending them. He understands full well that I am not interested in having sex with him under any circumstances whatsoever, that we play as a couple, and are looking for couples to play with. Nevertheless, he simply won't leave me alone. Frankly, I'm scared to death of someone who has gone to such extremes to stalk me.

San Francisco CA
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Well we must admit on this site we haven't been plagued by the SM, but then again we haven't had many replies from couples either. Could be due to the fact we are limey's lol.

On other sites we get mail from SM all the time, even though we say no single men. Unfortunately it doesn't matter how polite you try and be, some just do not bother to read your profile or take no for an answer.

There are a lot of Single Guys available, and the competition is hot, so it is easier to contact them if you are interested.

We are afraid its a fact of life, most couples wish to play with other couples, and if they change their minds and mail you, they you should be happy with that.

At the end of the day no matter who you are you should respect other peoples wishes.

Bideford England United Kingdom
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I had suggested to SLS that they should put some kind of sign that couples could use on their profiles to let single men know if they are interested. I had made a suggestion of having a little guy symbol like you see on restroom doors. This way single males know if couples are interested. They said they would pass it along

Elverson PA
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We find a near 50:50 ratio between single guys who contact us that are well within P's preferred age range (over 45, and better yet over 50) who are polite and articulate and approach us gently, and those who are well outside her preferred age range and who consider themselves so special that they are just sure she will want to be with THEM.

The polite ones get saved to our Friends List for future consideration. The idiots don't even get a response.

Jim

South Riding VA
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It is streaky for us. some weeks we get about one a day, other weeks none. A couple of years ago, we used to get over 20 per week. That prompted us to take a harsh line. Every guy back then seemed to think they were the exception to the fact that we were listed as couples only.

New York NY
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Since we put "no sm's" on our profile, we've only got one, so it's not a problem.

But I agree with you, some of the comments in the profile are rude; or at least, more acerbic than they need to be. If it were me, I'd state it nicely in the profile, then when contacted blow their head off in a return email and block them. But that's just me.

Shadyside PA
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TOPIC: For those who state No single men or something to that effect