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TOPIC: Drama between Couples
Created by: KBSB84
Original Starting post for this thread:
Just now exploring this lifestyle, and have read where couples have had to deal with jealously/drama issues with a couple, while getting intimate. Just wondering if anyone has any stories to share? And what you did in that situation?

Almost sounds scary...

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One couple with jealousy issue. The wife started throwing condoms at me and her man while we were in the moment. She was having her way with my man at the same time! Last time EVER with them!

West Branch MI
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When we started playing we made an almost instant connection with another couple (the other husband was the big flirt/chaser). We became friends and "dated" for over a year until the other husband seemed to 1) get jealous at the friendship between his wife & us, and 2) lost the thrill of the chase. We parted friendly. A while later he was on the chase again and we hooked back up for a short time...then called it off for the same reason as before. A year later the husband refound his high school girlfriend and actually moved out (after a 13 year marriage). We sort of joke that we got custody of the wife in the divorce; she & us are still good friends (with benefits).

Las Vegas NV
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I really don't think most people are talking about drama you have no control over (losing a job, death in the family, etc). When I read no drama in a profile, it means no self made drama (cheating, lying, etc). That is the drama you need to watch out for.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
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Great example lost! Fact is it's very rare for only one of two couples to have drama without the other helping in some way, either because of something they did or because of how they react to something you do. For every story of "someone else's drama", there's usually a second side of the story that suggest everyone contributed in some way, intentionally or not.

In your case, the guy treated you cheaply and had his own agenda on what he wanted from the evening, so you could argue he was the source of the drama. Your reaction may have been "drama" too, and their reaction to your reaction could also perhaps have been drama depending on what it is. But in the end it was what it was, you guys came out of it with learning of what "I" means in that context, and you're better off from it in your understanding with eachother.

Lord knows we could crash this server with all of the stories of things we now would handle differently. But that's probably true of most people who stick with this over a period of time and get close to people.

If you really want to avoid drama then you also have to avoid getting close enough to people to enjoy personal as well as physical intesity. Positive intensity is a wonderful experience, but invariably it comes with less positive experiences too - you don't get to pick just half of the experience. We know some people who just play at parties and don't get close to people precisely for that reason. For us we'll take the good with the bad, try not to bring our own issues into play if/when we have them, and try to be understanding of others when they bring theirs...


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Well "I" means "Me" unless it means "We."

Pulaski TN
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heehee, he learned this that night. I is WE lmao. You know, you learn something new everyday!


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Been there Lost, "I'm going to bed" is actually all-encompassing.

Pulaski TN
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catnip, I can agree with you on you rarely talk about your own drama. Jay and I of course have had drama. I think the difference between Jay and I and some is...we keep it very discreet. If I am having an issue he gets a succinct tap or look which says I need you right the hell now. He has learned over 20 years that yeah, I will get very blunt very quick. But yeah, we were playing separately once and the husb had erection issues. He ended up being half flacid/half erect and managed to cum (which I didn't even know you could do until swinging, my ignorant ass thought a man had to be hard). He wanted to do a MFM with his wife and Jay, this is what they mainly do. He got up, got a washcloth wet and literally threw it onto my stomach as he walked out. Well......I got pissed really quickly. I went outside and Jay and her were playing. I said "I am going to bed". Which meant WE are going to bed. LOL. They kept going. I went inside, got dressed, stormed back out and announced "WE are going to bed." Yes, Jay got the message, came out of the zone and took his ass to bed. Was I a bitch? Yeah. I will admit, I was fucking pissed off over being treated like a prostitute whore. Should I have done things different? Probably. But I was pissed. So yeah, we have done shit. However, that was years ago and for the most part lol, we keep things absolutely discreet. Everyone has their moments. With us in regard to other couples though, its a non issue. We understand that married people have arguments so we just let them take care of their business.


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Catnip, you're very much on target when you say that 'drama happens'. It's all part of the human condition. The more you have a relationship with someone, the more you're going to be involved with their lives, and the more you're going to be aware of and be affected by the drama in their lives (and vice versa). Being there for friends is one thing, but having their drama thrust upon you is another.

You're correct, also, that we all have it. Unemployment, illness, job issues, are all things that nobody can do anything about. The challenge that everyone faces is to handle things within their own family and not push it onto unwilling spectators. Some seem to have more of a challenge than others in maintaining some separation there. Of course, we are talking about people, and people are different everywhere.

If my close friends are hurting, I want to be there for them! What are friends for if not being there for each other? Conversely, if an acquaintance of all of ten minutes wants to spill their issues on me, I'm going to disengage and run the other way. I think the difference is one of intimacy...just how close are You to the one(s) with the drama? Friends don't have 'drama', they have issues. Strangers and acquaintances have 'drama'.

Of course, that's just our take on things and may be subject to change without notice. :)

JnD


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Wish we hadn't missed this thread while it was more current.

Drama is a fact of swinging. It sucks but it's true. It's interesting how everyone posted drama that other people created, but no-one had stories about drama they created themselves. Honestly there shouldn't be shame in it, even though everyone should try to avoid creating it since that's when this whole thing is at its most fun. So many people write about how much they learn about themselves and about their spouses through the lifestyle - it's one of the best things about it. But that kind of learning rarely comes because everything "worked out perfectly start to finish". We learn and grow because we discover some things work that we thought wouldn't, and some things bomb that we thought would be fine.

The main thing to make sure of is when you find you are creating drama - within your marriage or for someone else - it's time to take a break until whatever it is gets resolved. The only people we've ever had issues with are the ones who went from one couple to another creating drama with each one, and always blaming the other couples. It's OK to have drama as long as you learn from it - don't ignore it.


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TOPIC: Drama between Couples