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Couples with bi males listing as straight in profile : Swingers Discussion 665141041
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TOPIC: Couples with bi males listing as straight in profile
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"Now that I am a part of a couple I find it very disappointing that I have to worry about couples whose male half is bi or bi curious."

I don't understand that statement. Are you afraid the guy is going to rape you? And if a person is a rapist he could just as easily try to rape your wife. I don't believe for a second that anyone on here regardless of sexual orientation is going to force themselves on anyone. If they do sexual orientation is the least of your worries. And if you are worried about STD's then you should only be practicing safe sex regardless of sexual orientation.

As a straight man I'm not threatened at all by a couple with a bi male regardless of what their profile says. If they expect male play then we are not interested. Seriously, whats the difference in a straight couple swapping partners with a bi couple if you practice safe sex and the straight couple does not know the bi couple is bi? It's exactly the same.

I would suggest anyone worried about it just assume every male is bi. Because there is no way in hell you will ever know until they tell you. And if they tell you, well then, wasn't that what you wanted to begin with?

Newport News VA
 
 
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In the dark...lips are lips..... LOL!

Mountain Ranch CA
 
 
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Ready, good post. Part of me agrees, that in the dark, who knows? But the rest of me screams that if I feel whiskers in conjunction with a warm wet mouth, it's probably going to have the same effect as throwing a bucket of ice water on me at that point,lol.

Reno NV
 
 
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Speaking as a straight woman that has no desire to be with another woman. I have no problems with the fact that others do... And now i'm guessing here... ,but i would think that most of you don't mind watching a woman with another woman...See I don't see how that differs from 2 men. (Because to me both is wrong.) In the life of swinging and swapping there are no such labels...SEX is what it is about. Why is it that so many are worried about this. In my opinion as long as the respect is there and NO means NO then everybody should just have fun. That is why you decided to live the lifestyle. Anyway we are all grown here. If you're not sure or if you have a feeling that the guy might be, hell ASK that question. And if you are still not sure always trust your instencs. Just say "NO THANKS!!!".... Any way if the lights are out you won't know who has ahold of that thing...LOL...

Brundidge AL
 
 
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We feel that such a pretense is an unacceptable lie. We want nothing to do with couples with bi or bi curious males. Couples with Bi males listing as straight has taken all the fun out of swinging. I have been in the lifestyle for many years most of which involved mfm 3somes with 1 couple. Now that I am a part of a couple I find it very disappointing that I have to worry about couples whose male half is bi or bi curious.

Madison Twp PA
 
 
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It is more useful to speak in terms of what you want sexually, and what you are looking for in a potential partner. If people have a bias against others based on the kind of sex they like, so be it. They are welcome to have all the fun they can find within whatever boundaries they choose. If that means they only will play with bi/bi couples, so be it. Same for str8/str8 couples. Personally, we are more interested in what a potential playmate wants to do with us, and what we want to do with them. We try to be clear about it in our profile. If something like "does she ever, or has she ever, played with women?" is a critical question for you, you better ask up front, regardless of what is in their profile. For us, the most important question is do they behave they way they represented they would behave?

To answer your question - a male lists himself as straight, but then tells you he is bi - it would raise serious red flags. What is the hidden agenda?

Pismo Beach CA
 
 
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"its not standards - if a guy is curious he is curious, if he is willing to have sex with another man and with women-he is bi (just as a women willing to have sex with a women) and if all he wants to play with is guys.... he is gay"

I would tend to agree. But there are tons of gray area that don't fit into those categories. What does curious mean anyways? Is that person still straight? What about a women that has sex with another woman to please their partner but gets nothing out of it? Is she bi or straight? In the BDSM world a man can perform on another man and still be straight. To some people it's a matter of choice. If thats true then a person can be bi this week and straight the next. People don't fit into those little labels like most would want them too. Like I said before. In this very forum there are some that consider me bi because I've done a DP with my wife. I've read the posts. From their point of view I'm lieing when I put straight on my profile.

Newport News VA
 
 
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"because they don't conform to YOUR standards is foolish."

its not standards - if a guy is curious he is curious, if he is willing to have sex with another man and with women-he is bi (just as a women willing to have sex with a women) and if all he wants to play with is guys.... he is gay . This issue has been hashed in the forum numerous times. The big problem is that you go into the bi men post or gay men post and you see a bunch of straight guys there confirming they are willing or are. SO why then dont they post as such? Cpls all the time yell about sng guys posting as cpls. Or people posting pics that are ten yrs old. These issues are all about the same thing. HONESTY and give other all the facts up front. Why should cpls spend days chatting to then be told by the other cpl that the guy is actually bi (as previously stated that we can find it out by talking) WHEN it is diffinetly not what a cpl is looking for. Or should the guy just hide it and you form a bond/friendship to be later told by another cpl that the guy you have been playing with is bi. Then how are you suppost to deal with it? Is that fair to the cpl who clearly not looking for a bi guy. As I stated before It doesnt mean the straight guys are Manophobic but isn't the lifestyle also about respect as well. Where are our rights of making a personal choice. What is so wrong with being HONEST up front !

Burlingham NY
 
 
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"Huh? So bi people are gay or bi people are straight....which is it ? Never heard of such a thing."

No. What I said was that some professionals consider no such thing as bi in a male. I've read the articles about the studies. I consider them flawed and personally I don't believe it but that's what they said. It took me less than a minute to google an article. (I guess they don't allow posting links.)

What I believe is that everyone defines themselves and that no one can define you. What some consider straight, bi, or gay is completely different than what another person might consider straight, bi, or gay. To say someone is lieing because they don't conform to YOUR standards is foolish.

Newport News VA
 
 
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"And from many professionals their is no such thing as bi anyway. There is just gay and straight."

Huh? So bi people are gay or bi people are straight....which is it ? Never heard of such a thing.

Mountain Ranch CA
 
 
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TOPIC: Couples with bi males listing as straight in profile