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TOPIC: Both Straight
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I think you make a good point, novabiker. While I personally would much rather see a woman with a MAN, at a club, party, or in XXX videos, apparently it is VERY common for men to fantasize about seeing 2 women together. I suspect that most of the women swingers who consider themselves "bicurious" were perfectly content being straight until they started swinging, and only became "curious" because their husbands urged them to give it a try. Some of them may then really like it and now call themselves "bi", but we know women who still call themselves "bicurious" after years of swinging. We suspect that those women would much rather be with a man, but include other women to please their husbands, and not to hurt the feelings of other bi women in the group.

It almost feels like their is an intense PRESSURE on all women in a group situation at a party or club to engage in bisexual activity, and straight women are looked upon as somehow strange, or as if they think they are better than the other women. For the nonswinging public, bisexual women would be considered weird. For swingers, it's the straight woman who is made to feel weird.

Just our observation and thoughts. Your mileage may vary.

Jim

South Riding VA
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I think the bi women is because that turn guys on if you can check a lot men fantasies is to see two or more women having sex that is why there are so many bi women and another thing is that swinger life is control by women they said whom and where and when we only fallow So what u think about?

Chicago IL
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It's not possible to have advance discussions on "ground rules" when you are an invited guest at a private house party and there are guests present whom you've never met before. THOSE are the problem.

One exception is the woman who has been informed many times that Mrs Valovers is not interested in bi-play, but she insists "Oh you are TOO bi, you just don't know it yet." She seems to think that she can "convert" Mrs Valovers. We don't see much of this couple anymore except to attend an annual Halloween Costume swing party at their home. Too bad, because that woman's husband is Mrs Valover's favorite swingtime playmate. So one person who does not respect boundaries can ruin it for everyone.

South Riding VA
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Glad I was able to help this topic get back on track!

Muncy PA
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No problem, JaiDawn. As they say, "Your mileage may vary." Everyone's experiences, real and via reading, are different. But they're still just as valid as anyone else's.

Jim

South Riding VA
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Valovers,

I was not directing that at you. I was speaking in general and from what I read on forums about it.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
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I believe the reason why couples with bi women avoid couples with straight women is related also to the fact that the population of swingers is vastly skewed toward bi women: Bi and bi-curious women enter the lifestyle because they have limited ways otherwise to be with another woman. Straight women rarely enter the lifestyle at all because only a very small minority is open to sex with a man besides her partner.

So, a woman who's entered primarily for that motivating factor is going to generally look for situations where that need can be fulfilled. When it comes to being with another man, you're back to that very small percentage of the population that really is up for that.

Fair Oaks CA
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Just to correct a possible misunderstanding - - Mrs. Valovers and I in no way "put a stigma" on bi females. We were simply responding to a previous post saying they hadn't ever met a couple where the straight female had to "worry" about a bi female.

We just wanted to point out that it DOES happen, and that OUR experience is that more females than males have violated the "ask first" or "no means no" rules.

We in no way intended to stigmatize bi women. Whatever floats your boat is fine with us! We even tried to point out that we have several couples with bi females that we play with without any problems.

We believe that people have the right to enjoy sex with any consenting legal adult of sound mind that they want to, and there should be no "stigmas" attached by other swingers or even by the general public (fat chance!).

We do, however, firmly believe that NOBODY should ever make sexual advances to ANYBODY without asking, and receiving, permission - either verbally or through obvious mutual interest, flirtation, etc. And if anyone has stated that they do not want a particular kind of sexual activity, then there is no way that anyone should EVER try to force that attention on them.

Jim & Paula

South Riding VA
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I share K views and have already stated so before. We have played with couples where the woman is straight. I have no problem not playing with the female half. The bi women that I know claim to feel the same way also. It is kind of funny. I see straight females complain about how there is a stigma on them by bi females but it also seems that they put a stigma on bi females.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
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nwjerseycpl, WE are a couple where the female half worries because the other woman is bi. My wife is totally straight, and that means exactly what it says. She has no interest whatsoever in sexual contact with another woman, not even passive contact. I don't find that strange. I find it NORMAL, just like I have zero interest in engaging in any sexual activity with another man. We know that probably 90% of women who swing are bi or bi-curious, but in the general U.S. population, being straight IS normal.

She has good reason to worry about the other woman being bi. Despite the accepted "no means no" axiom in swinging, and despite making it clear that she is totally straight, she has had other women attempt to go down on her or otherwise get involved sexually with her - and more times than just once, too. She has even had women tell her "Oh you are too bi, you just don't know it yet!"

Our experience is that bi women have violated the "no means no" and the "ask permission first" axioms of swinging far more than men, even at a party where we didn't know everyone.

Of course we also play with some couples with a bi woman with no problems at all, when the other woman is completely respectful about my wife's desires, or lack of interest in bi-play. Yet we have only once had a problem with a man trying to force unwanted attentions on my wife, yet bi-women have tried numerous times.

You know, if another man tried to go down on ME when we were swinging, I'd probably deck him. So I understand why same-sex play can be revolting to some people, and I don't understand why some bi women just won't take "no" for an answer around a straight woman.

Before anyone flames us, let me say we are certainly well aware that the bi women who have been so disrespectful of my wife are undoubtedly the exceptions, and not the rules. But our point is that she DOES need to "worry" about bi women trying to push themselves on her, and has the experience to prove it. Strange, isn't it, that only once did a MAN try to push his attention on her?

Jim

South Riding VA
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TOPIC: Both Straight