Both Straight: Swingers Discussion 336831081

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Both Straight: Swingers Discussion 336831081

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TOPIC: Both Straight

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User Details are only visible to members.	Lest the discussion on what percent of men & women are straight get to heated, allow me to point out that there is likely a BIG difference between the percentage of "straights" in the general population and the percentage of "straights" in the lifestyle. It seems to me that the percentage of bi or bi-curious types is much larger in the lifestyle than in the general population. Probably many bi or bi-curious types are particularly attracted to the lifestyle because it offers far better opportunities for bi experiences than you would have trying to pick up someone at the local bar. In our experience over the years in the lifestyle, roughly 90% of the women lifestylers we've met or whose ads we've read describe themselves as bi or bi-curious. I don't have any data on the general population, but I would be very surprised if the percentage of non-lifestyle women in the U.S. who are bi or bi-curious is anywhere close to that. We've NEVER met a bi or bi-curious man in the lifestyle. We've seen some swinger profiles in which the man described himself as bi or bi-curious, but it is a small percentage. I haven't tried to calculate it, but the general impression is that it would be only in the 1% to 2% range. I have no idea what the percentage of bi men in the general population might be. It seems to me that most women OR men who enjoy same-gender sex are probably into same-sex only relationships. So when percentages are being tossed around, you have to be careful to discriminate between lifestylers and the general population, because the lifestyle is NOT a random cross-section of the American population.
South Riding VA			Username hidden (8164 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Yeah, that "99%" also caught my eye...I think she meant in the context of the contacts they have had, and even then she probably said "99%" as a way of saying "men pretty much are all straight". I thing the gist of what she is saying is still correct. To rephrase, she seems to be lamenting the fact that a straight guy only needs to state he is straight upfront and once, and that's the end of it and there are no pressures for him or any need to feel guilty or uncomfortable about it. Whereas for women "in the lifestyle"--and I mention this because this is something we've experienced too--many seem to feel that they "owe an explanation" as to why are they straight. Ms. Content is never apologetic about it, but when we've hooked up with other couples with straight females and who for some reason are not aware that Ms. Content is also straight, it's funny how they act as though they need to justify their being straight. A male never feels in that position, not even remotely. I think that's what she was referring to. Mr. Content
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Uh uh, I can't let that one go by. 14% of the men within 1000 miles of my home are listed as bi or bi-curious, ignoring the closet bi men which probably doubles that number. That 99% perception is wrong. Having said that, back to your discussion.
Fair Oaks CA			Username hidden (33 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	M and E wrote: If the men can be totally straight, ( and 99% of them are) with out any pressure, why can't I? I agree with you 100%, my hubby never pushes the girl on girl play. If a woman wants to experiment then I let it up to her. If her husband pushes it I will be very stand offish, just because I can not enjoy another woman if she is not into it. If she wants it she will let me know. K of RK
Muncy PA			Username hidden (2894 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Well, Im a straight woman, and by the way, Ive enjoyed reading everyone's posts and insight here. Being a straight woman in the lifestyle has been so far, interesting. I have been with another woman to see if I liked it..(about ten yrs ago) and although it ok because she knew what she was doing, it sincerely is just not my cup of tea. I love men. Its not that I don't find other women attractive, oh I do....Being an artist I find the female form lovely to look at, I just don't want to have sex with it. But Im with some, I feel a bit of a stigma when I say Im straight, as if Im expected to be at least bi "curious". Nope not curious in the least bit. Been there done that...looked at my watch alot. I found it boring. For my husband, this is not a problem, what I find is that it seems that I have somehow squashed the male side of the couple we are playing with's fun. Like I have somehow spoiled "the fun". Its annoying. I have never found a woman to make advances on me once I have laid down the ground rules, but I have found that the partner sometimes tries to encourage me to change my mind. Why? I haven't tried to change his. If the men can be totally straight, ( and 99% of them are) with out any pressure, why can't I? MandE9
Midland TX			Username hidden (17 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Of course there are many genuinely bi women out there. But I'd like to second Valover's idea that there seems to be some pressure for women to at least be open to the possibility of bi. We have been with more than one couple where the woman calls herself "bi-curious" in their profile, and after some conversation it becomes clear that these women are really nothing beyond bi-friendly (which Ms. Content actually is too) and they are primarily interested in men. They choose the "bi-curious" label as a way to make themselves attractive to a larger number of couples. I suppose that they are willing to "act bi" at least for a while when they hook up with couples with a truly bi female. But usually we don't regard the "bi" or "bi-curious" designation as a problem, even though Ms. Content is straight. Couples are pretty good at stating in their profile whether they are looking for "couples", or "couples with a bi female". In the latter case, we simple don't contact them. But most females who called themselves bi seem to have a strong enough interest in males to make it worthwhile for them to play with straight couples. That at least has been our experience. We certainly welcome couples with bi females who are also interested in playing straight.
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	When we first started swinging I considered myself straight. But as we got more into it I progressed to bi play. I did it, not for my husband, but because it just happened naturally and felt good.
Clifton Heights PA			Username hidden (242 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	My wife is very bi not a little but very. She is also a true bisexual in that she likes being with both the male and female not one over the other. No one forced her,everything she does will be and always will be her decision.For seem strange reason both males and females will come to me and ask can I do this or that which is a crock. ask her its her body She is not aggressive with either sex until behind closed doors. In our profile we state we are looking for bi women both single and married couples. Some how we seem to get straight couples writing to us even though it says we prefer this as its part of her play.As far as unwanted advances on a straight female, it seems to happen when the straight female flirts and plays like she is bi such as dirty dancing , going down on the female ,laying her hands on the other females body. As far as advances at a house party there are always times that you can discuss ground rules unless of course you have thrown yourself in a pile with little regard to rules ,limits,situations. you must think of the consequences you put yourself into you do have the right to say no or walk away.. Far to often its the situation and circumstance that puts people in a situations they have not foreseen seems that those people tend to want to blame others for the situation and circumstance that they have put themselves into.Thats like flashing and then getting pissed off for someone watching
Sarasota FL			Username hidden (2070 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I am bi because it is a part of me. Not because it was forced on me or expected of me. Its because I love all aspects of being with a woman, but only if that woman wants me to be with her! K of RK
Muncy PA			Username hidden (2894 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I think you make a good point, novabiker. While I personally would much rather see a woman with a MAN, at a club, party, or in XXX videos, apparently it is VERY common for men to fantasize about seeing 2 women together. I suspect that most of the women swingers who consider themselves "bicurious" were perfectly content being straight until they started swinging, and only became "curious" because their husbands urged them to give it a try. Some of them may then really like it and now call themselves "bi", but we know women who still call themselves "bicurious" after years of swinging. We suspect that those women would much rather be with a man, but include other women to please their husbands, and not to hurt the feelings of other bi women in the group. It almost feels like their is an intense PRESSURE on all women in a group situation at a party or club to engage in bisexual activity, and straight women are looked upon as somehow strange, or as if they think they are better than the other women. For the nonswinging public, bisexual women would be considered weird. For swingers, it's the straight woman who is made to feel weird. Just our observation and thoughts. Your mileage may vary. Jim
South Riding VA			Username hidden (8164 post)

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TOPIC: Both Straight