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what are some of your rules during soft swap : Swingers Discussion 701391041
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TOPIC: what are some of your rules during soft swap
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I wanna see a movie you're in...

Rochester NY
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This is my new favorite thread.

Rochester NY
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I agree with you all. I think that alot of full swap couples see things, particularly parties, in different ways. Jay and I love parties and love playing with 1 or 2 trusted couples. We aren't notchers in any sense of the word. And then there are the couples who are these ultra aggressive, almost predatorial you could say, fuck machines. So we were in the room and this annoying ass man who was grossing me out (for the record, walking around naked, standing literally 1 foot from my head jerking your wanker is not appropriate to me) was walking back and forth between these adjoining rooms...his own wife was in the other playing (also for the record lol, if you have a laugh that sounds like a hyena in heat please use some restraint during play lol I mean DAYUM). He was just out of control. He kept going from woman to woman, touching and rubbing without asking, standing right over you jerking off. Anyways, just an observation. Its our fault though, next time we are renting our own room with a nice lock. Sometimes people say things because their spouse gets upset too. My friend told our other friend to stick it in her ass. I heard her myself. And he did. Her husband was NOT pleased and so she recanted herself and said oh no she didnt tell him to do that. A lie. Shell


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I agree with Pete, your comfort zone is your comfort zone. Just make sure that you are honest from jump in the fact that you are soft only and its all good. Shell


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Hi all, the female half of candlecruzaders here. I find that "soft swap" can be interpeted many ways. My husband and I agree that soft swap is always same room. I consider soft swap to be no penetration but fondling and kissing is OK. More of a foursome. Is that the general explanation?

Orrville OH
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Annie, you should never feel uncomfortable about the boundaries you've set. If someone doesn't respect them, they aren't the type you want to play with anyway.

Let's face it - you set these boundaries for a reason. Maybe it's the passion of kissing and foreplay, maybe it's the bond with your husband, maybe it's just because you want to test the waters slowly. Those reasons and the logic behind them are your business - but for an outsider - their business is to respect that you made the decision because they were important to you and that ignoring those boundaries will only make things uncomfortable.

Me.. back when I was married, we had a scene where a couple just wouldn't take no. We tried them, and the guy was pushy and eventually tried to enter my wife without a condom. that ended it all. He didn't respect our boundries and we never spoke with them again.

Now that I'm starting over single - and I was always into the foreplay... Talking about whats comfortable and whats not is just part of the excitement. If we can get some kisses in the middle... thats even better!

Deer Park NY
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When we are at a swing club we exclusively play in the group room. We love the electrified air in the room with 30 to 50 naked bodies all around.

It has taken me almost 4 years to develop eyes in the back of my head. Mr. Sim reads body language like normal people read a neon sign... he can see someone playing 8 feet away from us and the guy repositioning the woman to start making a bee line towards me. He may do it in 4 or 5 subtle approaches and take 15 minutes to do it- but eventually ends up within reaching distance of me. I see the guy when he is a foot from me...Mr Sim sees him 8 feet away from me. LOL. So, Mr. Sim had to teach me how to see theses things and is shocked when I don't pick up on these subtle moves. HEY...okay so it took me a few years to get a finally tuned radar!

Mountain Ranch CA
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ds, I'm sorry about that pretty lady. There is simply no set way to play. At large parties I do agree to certain things like colored bands though. Sat. we are going to a party where 50 couples are signed up and though we peruse the profiles who can remember who does what? So that would be nice but not a big deal. Shell


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We never waist a moment of our precious time justifying our boundaries. We just say "no but thanks for asking". Once in a rare while we have to say "we already said no and we would appreciate it if you wouldn't speak to us again this evening". Never in 12 years have we had an unmanageable problem. We have had some undesirable experiences but those become the foundation for our boundaries.

Curt n Jane

Pasadena CA
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Dscouple.. sorry to hear about your experience. But we are soft swap and straight to boot. We do go to house parties, clubs, etc., but play within our comfort zone. However, what is annoying is the instances where the women are going to convert me!, but we have never had a problem with couples trying to get us to go f/s. ... hmmm

oh, by the way, we never provide an explanation why we are soft swap. And if asked my typical response is that is not our kink.. but in a nice friendly matter fact tone. --- all is good.

Lansing MI
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TOPIC: what are some of your rules during soft swap