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lost friendships because of swinging : Swingers Discussion 612261041
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TOPIC: lost friendships because of swinging
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Yes we've had swinging relationships end because one person called it off. Actually it happens more often than you may think. It happens with non-sexual friendships too. We think it's part of life, not just the lifestyle.

We also feel that you get out of this what you give. If you give friendship and sexual energy, you'll get both. If you give only sexual energy, that's all you'll get. Some people "handle" the pain of breakups by keeping a distance, keeping it sexual only. For us that limits the sexual potential more than it limits the pain. Yes there will be breakups, yes there will be sadness, that's life, but there will also be real depth of fun and friendship.

We have this one lifetime to experience and enjoy. We'd rather experience as much of life's potential as possible. On our deathbeds we'll be remembering all that we did feel and experience rather than being glad we kept our distance.

Enosburg Falls VT
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From the original post it sounds like the "other" couple had some internal jealousy issues about the 4 some. Altho it appears the friendship was a fairly long one there was still a lot of things not openly spoken about for fear of hurting someone elses feelings. I do not thing that it was the "fault" of the 4 some. but the fault if there is any to be pointed toward the relationship between the other couple themselves.

Camas Valley OR
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JuliaRebecca, that is how we looked at it. Over it as far as we are concerned. Agree with Here2 as well. We intend to look at SLS and local clubs for playmates and not mess around in friendships and our own backyards! True friendships are far too valuable to risk. Note to the wise....

Bethpage TN
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Sorry ... Meant to say we have NOT had this problem - sorry for the confusing post.

Wow, LadyB, that is really strange. Guess they couldn't handle it. Sounds like their loss.

Julia

St Thomas VI
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We had a long term friendship end after "consumating it" with a weekend of fun. We had hinted and teased each other (all 4) for several years. Took turns sharing a hotel room once with the full knowledge that we were having sex with our own partners. Talked around it for quite a while. Then when we were scheduled to move away from the area for several years decided to pursue things more seriously. Took a whole weekend. The girls spent some time shopping for risque outfits to wear to the Off Premises Swing Club, the guys detailed the car, gussied up the hotel room, etc etc. Had a fabulous night of dancing, especially the girls. We enjoyed the hot tub sans clothing and all ended up in the bed together. Girl on girl with guys helping and rolling our eyes in delight. Did some sharing of oral delights on each others partners. The next day saw more of the same. Walking on the beach, sensuous luncheon with much finger feeding of each other. More hot tub and bedtime fun that night. We talked through it all, and thought everything was great. Even made plans for them to come for an adult vacation to Euope! Never heard from them again. Emails and letters unanswered. Ran into the husband a few years later by accident. COLD reception and no discussion or explanation. Just chalked it up to one of those experiences. Fun while it lasted, but it is now over!

Bethpage TN
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Probabaly because of the transient nature of our playmates, we have had this problem. Most of our playmates are on vacation or cruising. We are happy to see them come/cum, wish them bon voyage when they go, and welcome them when/if they return. In the interim, we touch base with them via e-mail now and then.

However, this did happen to us with long-term, very close and affectionate vanilla friends. Four years of doing practically everything together, and then "BTW, we are leaving." That did feel like a break up and it does hurt - you have my sympathy.

Unless you find and can make work a truly polyamorous relationship, that is what will happen ... but it beats not trying at all. You will find the right balance between you and your playmates. Like everything else worth having, it takes practice and patience.

Julia

St Thomas VI
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We always keep a little distance. For us, too much emotion when swinging can bring about many, many unwanted problems.

Center Valley PA
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Have you ever had a swinging relationship end because one person calls it off??? This is kind of happening with us right now and it sure does feel like a break-up and it SUCKS!

Just wanted to know if anyone else has ever felt this. Not really looking for advice or sympathy...just to know we're not alone.

Rochester NY
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TOPIC: lost friendships because of swinging