lost friendships because of swinging: Swingers Discussion 612261031

155
lost friendships because of swinging: Swingers Discussion 612261031

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TOPIC: lost friendships because of swinging

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User Details are only visible to members.	It seems swingers throw the phrase friends but with benefits. What does that really mean? Does it mean when the sex stop the friendship you had did not really mean anything. That on some level swinger friends are less than vanilla friends. I can see that being true if it is stated up front it is sex only. So, if the sex stops no big deal. But where you have been involved in the other couples life, family cook outs etc. and just cut them off that is simply wrong. From experience. we have been on the side where we no longer want to play with a couple. We indicate that we would like to continue a friendship and we truly mean it. Out of all the couples that we had this conversation with only one really wanted to continue a relationship. So, I guess what do swingers really mean by friends with benefits? I know what we mean.
Howell MI			Username hidden (1620 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We had close friends end both the sex and then the friendship due to the death of their daughter. She fought a long six year battle with leukemia and finally succumbed. Their grief was all consuming. We tried our mightiest to be there in support, to just be there for them as the friends we were, but their grief overpowered them and in a sad way caused them to lash out at the world and at us. The woman of the couple worked through her grief and tried to reconnect the four of us, but the husband, years later, still hadn't faced his grief let alone worked through it, and held onto his anger with the world. He couldn't even discuss it with us. We have no way of knowing what it is to lose a daughter like that, but we do know what it is like to lose a friendship when anger is the reaction to grief. It's a sad double blow to this woman, and her husband is in serious pain. Talk about being helpless to even be there for them!
Enosburg Falls VT			Username hidden (969 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Ring, I agree with you. We've had to say that type of thing to two couples over the last nearly 8 years. The first time, they took offense and we never heard from them again. The second time it worked out much, much better and to this day we still socialize with them. Now that is far different than playing with a couple and deciding they aren't to your taste, of course. I think that happens to all of us at one time or another.
Cambridge VT			Username hidden (6303 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	sand.... I think at some point you have to say your not interested in playing even if you don't do anything with the couple beside straight sex. Otherwise it could be awkward b/c they may continue to approach you to play. And I think that it is only polite b/c I know I would not want a couple to avoid me or ignore me b/c they can't tell me they no longer want to play with us. But then what do I know. lol
Howell MI			Username hidden (1620 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	we have lost some friends when the swinging part stops. I think it is natural since you may not share the same interests anymore and that the friendship moves to an acquaintance level.
Fort Collins CO			Username hidden (194 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We agree with Ring2S that its very difficult to tell someone that the sex is over and done with, but we want to remain friends. Most times in the lifestyle, it doesn't get said because neither of the couples can come up with the correct words. As far as friendships go, within this Lifestyle, we will NEVER let ourselves get so involved, and so close, to playmates, as to be hurt when the "foursome" breaks up. We may form a deep friendship with them that has nothing at all to do with the sex. But that friendship is separate and apart from the playing, at our request. S&J
Cambridge VT			Username hidden (6303 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Yes, we have been on both sides. But I think it is part of the swinging thing. I think for some it can be difficult to say the sexual compatibility is no longer there, but we would like to still be friends. It takes strong communication skills to have this kind of conversation. If you can you end up with good friends.
Howell MI			Username hidden (1620 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	To us honestly the friendship aspect is more important than the sex....what I mean is we would stop sex with people in order to maintain the friendship. We do not play with people outside of swinging (as in vanillas we know) so I don't know about losing friendships as far as that goes. I have heard lots of stories though where friends outside of swinging had sex and then it was very awkward after. Especially if things go badly or not up to expectation...it changes things. I have one friend who is a single male in the ls who I would LOVE to make a fuck buddy...but he is terrified of it affecting our friendship...so I get to hear about his girls....dammit....haha. Shell
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	ah, ponemiu.. u make me smile a lot during the day and that is a good thing..
Philadelphia PA			Username hidden (5330 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I just caught this thread M, what is this word wisen?
Philadelphia PA			Username hidden (5330 post)

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TOPIC: lost friendships because of swinging