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lost friendships because of swinging : Swingers Discussion 612261011
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSoft Swingerlost friendships because of swinging
TOPIC: lost friendships because of swinging
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Mr. Sim and I have the same view on friends. We both have lived in many places and found very few people we would consider friends. 99% are people we know on some level of acquaintance. Through the years we have found most people cannot be depended on and rightfully so, because your spouse and children come first and foremost. That justified selfishness interferes with your friends being able to "help" you in the time of need many times (if they live a full life). So, we never depend on friends in a crisis. It's not fair to them. We rely on each other and if we need more - then we seek our brother or sister but even those have their own lives and needs that always can't be dropped at a moments notice either. Everyone has limitations of some sort so.... we rely and lean on each other and thats it. We don't lean on friends....they have their own problems to deal with as priorities. Plus, I have never liked putting a "friend" in a position of letting me down. I won't do it.

Mountain Ranch CA
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Dand... I agree with you. Good friends-- not acquaintances -- can be rare and when you do find them they should not be taken for granted.

Also, I never put my husband in the same category of my friends. There is never a choosing between him and our friends. And none of my friends would assume that they could wedge themselves b/t my hubby and me.

Lansing MI
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Splash was fun. Would've been alot more fun if you, M and delina had been there.

Lake Worth FL
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Karen is my best friend, I know she'll be there for me. Everyone else are just people we know. We only count on each other. I don't even count on my family.

"friends" change, their needs change or they just get sick of you. Personally i tend to keep "friends" at arms length.

Lake Worth FL
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"My husband is my best friend in the world.. **he comes first**"

What a jerk. :)

Rochester NY
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Family means different things to different people as do friends. Some here couldn't imagine friends being more family than sibilings. Some here understand all too well how that can be. Coming from a large family I understand both how family can be there for you, and how they can be so not there for you. Family is not a simple warm embrace. Each member can be as different as day and night.

Friends, if you truly value and invest in friendship, can be closer than family because you choose them, you grow with them, and that bond is chosen because you fit with them in some special way.

Enosburg Falls VT
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Annie; sounds all too familiar, maybe we are related...lol

thus why I feel many of the friends I/ we have are like family to me

Burlingham NY
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There is never a question that my hubby and I come first in our relationship. And friends and family do not come between us. I think when anything terrible happens and I am not talking about a stub toe all support is good. Of course, your husband is going to be there going through it with you. However, family and friends are their to help and it is a shame you don't feel comfortable leaning on them. Maybe I am high maintenance as you say. But I will tell you my friends and family know that in a crisis I will be there to help, whatever that may be. Heck I flew out to Vegas b/c my girlfriend had her baby way too early. And she needed help with her other child. Yes she is married but the stress of it all they needed help. So I flew out there where I took care of their other child, cleaned house, made the meals, basically became their live -in for two weeks until a family member could come out to help. Yes, I had to take time off work at my expense etc. but for me that is what friends are for.

I guess everyone is different and I am glad I have found many friends that will be there for me as I will be their for them.

A

Lansing MI
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scorp.. friends don't ever take the place of my spouse and it is a given at least for us that we really on each other. But friends are there to help through the event too. Well all I can say that god for my friends they very helpful in my recovery.

Lansing MI
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I know it's a lot more about religious preference vs true polyamory with all involved, but I love Big Love...funny and insightful...one man and three wives yowza!

Cocoa FL
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TOPIC: lost friendships because of swinging