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lost friendships because of swinging : Swingers Discussion 61226101
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSoft Swingerlost friendships because of swinging
TOPIC: lost friendships because of swinging
Created by: onehotcouple44
Original Starting post for this thread:
Have you ever had a swinging relationship end because one person calls it off??? This is kind of happening with us right now and it sure does feel like a break-up and it SUCKS!

Just wanted to know if anyone else has ever felt this. Not really looking for advice or sympathy...just to know we're not alone.

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Here's a problem. How do you know they think of you as friends?

Yes, they may say you're friends, but they may have their own reasons for saying so.

My sense is that, at least for some on here, "friends" means people you swing with. Once you're no longer interested in doing that, they're no longer your friends.

So one way to think of this is the opposite of "lost friendships because of swinging" -- lost interest in swinging ended the friendship.

Kitty Hawk NC
 
 
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Jealousy issues from within another couple caused us to completely cut them out of every aspect of our lives. Yes, it sucks.

Pulaski TN
 
 
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We've lost a couple early friendships due to swinging with other swing couples. Due to insecurities on their part...most likely lack of total communication between themselves. They broke off contact so we don't know exactly, but through deductive reasoning we have been able to put the piece together after the fact. Most of the time we see a breakdown in communication, a few other times it has been a couple's half trying to get away with something or crossed signals due to victim of circumstance.

Littleton CO
 
 
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I know the feeling. We had a few couples we were playin with. They knew we were not full swap when we started hanging out. Then all of a sudden they stopped calling us and never im'd us.. It did feel like a break up..i felt really sad!...

Powell TN
 
 
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I'm the wizardest.

Rochester NY
 
 
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I'd fuck ya in that pic.

Rochester NY
 
 
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you lady's are too funny...lol

Lansing MI
 
 
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scrop... Maybe I am hearing you wrong but you must have many friends that have drained you that you keep yourself at a distance.

Lansing MI
 
 
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DandJ.... you articulated it so well. I value all my friendships. I don't weigh one over the other and I don't consider a friends spoken or unspoken need as a burden. When friendships end it can be disheartening but I have learned in life you never know if the friendship will re-flourish.

Lansing MI
 
 
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We've talked to those who say the only person you can count on is yourself. No partner, no spouse, no friend, and no family can be truly counted on. That's the far end of the argument of who you may count on in life.

We've experienced true friendship that you can "count on" and we've experienced its loss. We've experienced spouses we could count on, and their loss. We've experienced family we could count on, and their loss. To say that no one in life can be truly counted on and that there is no ultimate and perfect relationship in life is only stating that life is change. It is, and nothing is perfect.

But to limit trust and who you can count on, to set boundaries of trust, may feel safer but also limits life. We count on each other to a degree we count on no other. But there is no guarantee that it will last our lifetime. Previous relationships haven't. And it doesn't preclude counting on family and friends. What it means to us is to be open to help from friends and family and to helping them. Real friends and close family come through far more than acquaintences. But we've also experienced acquaintences coming through for us and even strangers. To cut that off because of a preformed boundary cuts you off from some of the finer experiences of life. Our experience is that having those artificial boundaries of who you can trust doesn't protect you from having trust broken. Being open does not mean being gullible.

We don't expect trust. But we will offer it until it is demonstrated it is not honored. And we will be open to trust from anyone. Friendships, deep friendships, can offer some of the most beautiful trust in life.

Enosburg Falls VT
 
 
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TOPIC: lost friendships because of swinging