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anyone had trouble with full swap and decided to switch to soft : Swingers Discussion 37174
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSoft Swingeranyone had trouble with full swap and decided to switch to soft
TOPIC: anyone had trouble with full swap and decided to switch to soft
Created by: redstarr
Original Starting post for this thread:
My boyfriend and I have been swinging for almost a year and love it. The problem is that a few months ago I started getting jealous of couples we were close to emotionally. Casual encounters were great, but once we get to be good friends with a couple it's hard for me to deal with the emotions. I was wondering if soft swap might work out better for us? Has anyone experienced going from full to soft swap? We both love swinging, and neither I nor him would like to get out of the lifestyle.

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Thank you, it is greatly appreciated. Shell

San Marcos TX
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Shell the more I see your posts the more I like you!!!! You sound well centered intelligent and mature. Something really needed in the lifestyle. FJ

Sanford NC
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I know with us, we didn't become pro-active because of our jealousy issues, but because we are plagued with other couples that have issues. We love full swap, but we have just become more pro-active. Shelly

San Marcos TX
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ds, I had this long ass response typed out to you earlier and then this f******** thing logged off lol. We are still in the lifestyle like we always have been. We love the friends that we have met, and we have made so MANY friends out here! And we love clubs and m&g's as well. We have just decided that too many couples in our area at least aren't in this for the right reasons....the "official" reason all couples give is "to enhance an already hot sex life"....but we have found in our personal experience that not very many at all are in it for that reason....usually its to patch some area that is missing elements within their relationship. And we are still full swap, but absolutely only after it has been determined that BOTH the hubby and wife are here because they want to be. We will only agree to soft swap at maximum on our first meet up...then we can watch them together...you know, your body language with your own spouse speaks a thousand words. Do they kiss, talk, hold hands, etc. We were recently with a couple and they literally do not talk to each other. Jay and I walked along holding hands, I don't think they literally touched each other once. And these are things I watch....I actually pay attention more to a couple's chemistry with each other than that with Jay and I. If you don't have chemistry with your own spouse you aren't going to have it with me. SO. We will meet up and will go from there, but will not agree to full swap until we know that this couple is in love with each other and here for the right reasons. We are also opening up to singles more, albeit in a controlled manner because we prefer couples actually. So yes, we are still in the lifestyle...but soft swing is just better for us now. Sorry for the million dollar answer lol. Shelly

San Marcos TX
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LOL, yes it can definately be a MESS. LOL Shelly

San Marcos TX
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Well, its official!! In regards to couples play we are soft swap only for the next 6 months at LEAST. After last night we have decided that too many "full swap" couples have too many issues...its just not worth our time and money. SO. We will play with couples but only on a soft swap basis until we know that there are no issues. Shelly

San Marcos TX
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i haven't read all of the replies but thought i would add my 2 cents- we switched from full to soft mailny b/c we HATE condoms. i react to them, he hates wearing them, and rather than spend energy finding condoms we like we simply removed full from the menu. hasn't changed the pleasure of the experiences we've had one bit- when we fuck each other with others present and participating orally... mmmm.

Sterling VA
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Well, it is true to never assume. I'm glad he was cool with everything. I think he assumed because your husband agreed to do full with his wife. But you are right, never assume anything. To me, as long as I know everything from the very beginning I am good with it. Shelly

San Marcos TX
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It was his fault. He looked at my husband and handed him a condom and said she really wants you to fuck her....... okay. Then he assumed I would say yes to him and didn't ask me. Major mistake on his part.....Never assume anything. She apparently wanted to fuck my husband really bad. However.... he was cool about it and said he didn't mind just oral at all and said to me that his wife was really going to enjoy my husband doing her.

Mountain Ranch CA
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Surprised he didn't extract her from your husband and switch to enjoying sex with her. Have to say we differ with your use of the term "full-swap" - it's only full swap if it goes both ways. The "my hubby wants to do your wife but you can't do me" just doesn't work for us.

Pismo Beach CA
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TOPIC: anyone had trouble with full swap and decided to switch to soft