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Why is it so hard : Swingers Discussion 1195321011
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TOPIC: Why is it so hard
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Being... We are a soft swap couple and have no difficulty find playmates. However, in reading posting it seems to me, you really want f/f play and IF the guys join in you will let them do want while you lay there- Hmmm I am not sure if this is considered soft swap or just that you really want f/f play only but if you must you will tolerate a male playing with you on a limited basis. There is nothing wrong with this. I agree with the other posting you need to be very clear up front with couples because I can see much drama if your not clear.

That is my two cents

Lansing MI
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Nah, even when it is in plain einglish in your profile, discussed at length before hand(IM, Phone and over dinner) When the lights go out, folks think you are going to change your mind...and when you don't, they no longer want to talk, hang out or even speak long enough to say not interested any longer. Oh well though....We are the commodity...

Blythe GA
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Yes, i was not calling YOU selfish. I did stress about being up front with what you are looking for and let the other cpl know anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or what you are not ready for yet. We started off as full swap from the get go but now we have no problem doing soft swap at all. To us now its not about getting some strange, its just about haveing fun. Full swap can be fun for sure if everything is right but we have found out that fantasy is usually better than reality in most cases. Hang in there, its not really hard to find what you are looking for.

Repton AL
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beingcurious there is nothing wrong with that as long as you are straight up honest from jump about it. The only time I would ever get testy is if you told us you were into full swap, we get into the playroom and then all of a sudden its oral only. And unfortunately it does happen, sometimes people will tell you what they think you want to hear in order to get you into the playroom. I know more than a few where this has happened...and not speaking for others but perhaps this is why it was said about being selfish. But if you are honest from the beginning there is absolutely nothing wrong with soft play.

San Marcos TX
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OK, I suppose I should change the way my profile reads. I know it seems selfish but husbands is just not comfy with sharing all my goods yet. He is perfectly comfortable with them given oral, and last time i checked a lot of guys enjoyed that. What's wrong with playing then going back to your own partner to have sex? We even like to watch other people having sex, that is a huge turn on for me. So why does it all seem to be selfish? If he wants is dicks sucked let his wife do it while I am given her pleasure..

Powell TN
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Its probobly not as hard to find soft swap cpls as you think it is. Its more just getting across that is all you really want. By that i mean,lots of cpls that we meet that say they are soft swap, the male half is insecure about another man playing with his wife but does want to play with the other female.There are lots of problems with that , it leaves one of the guys feeling left out or unwanted and often lots of other drama involved too.Most of the time my hubby would RATHER just play with me but only when he knows it is not just a selfish thing on the other cpls part and if he is not totally envolved that he isnt made to feel like he is just on the sidelines. In other words, for soft swap everyone needs to be honest and up front and needs to think about not only what they want out of the encounter but realize the other cpl is looking for enjoyment too.As far as the guys just watching while the girls play, most guys think that is cool a time or two but it gets old for most very quickly and too, a lot of girls are just not into putting a show on for the guys, we like everyone to have fun, even if not full swapping and the men mostly just playing with their own partner.From reading your profile it sounds like you are limiting what you will do with the other man but talk about licking your hubbys dick while he is fucking the other girl.Thats all cool and is great fun but is a very one sided deal if you stop and think about it.

Repton AL
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Agreed. I usually ask couples straight out what the dealio is, how much she is expecting in regard to bi play. I honestly enjoy light foreplay activity with females and we are fabulous kissers....but thats about it. When its time to get down to fucking I want penis.

San Marcos TX
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Being... I just think you should be upfront indicating what you are seeking. Your seeking f/f play only. There are many other couples who are seeking what you are seeking. I think it is crucial you indicate this preference. That way you do not get contacted by individuals who are seeking f/f play with men entering at some point to play. Maybe this is just from my experience but we have met couples where there is no indication of f/f play in the profile. A meeting is set-up and then we find out -- ugh as if their nice personality would change my mind!! For us this was a waste of our time-- I am straight and not interested in females. I, for one would really like to know this before hand.

Just my thoughts

Lansing MI
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In this area clubs are more soft swap/voyeurism. House parties here are definately more full swap...we have even been to parties where soft swappers wear a band so the full swappers are aware of the boundaries involved there. Like others have said, just be straight up with other couples. House parties though...I think you would get frustrated. We go to house parties with the intention of playing with others we find sexually attractive. Clubs? Here that is definately the more soft swap arena. Good luck and remember to have fun.

San Marcos TX
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Thank you for ur response, I will do both thinks u ask and see if it helps us any...~LMC~

Powell TN
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TOPIC: Why is it so hard