Why is it so hard: Swingers Discussion 119532101

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TOPIC: Why is it so hard

Created by: BEINGCURIOUS95 Original Starting post for this thread:
Why is it so hard to find couples who don't want full swap? WE have been to house parties and club and meet a lot of really cool people. But it seems that everybody wants to have sex and we are just not into that part. We are still pretty new to all of this, so maybe someday we will cross that line. But for now we just really like the female play. Can we please have some advice on how to find and meet couple that like the female play? We don't mind the guys being around, I just don't do oral on the men. He can play with me as much as he likes. Thanks ~LMC~

Created by: BEINGCURIOUS95
Original Starting post for this thread:

Why is it so hard to find couples who don't want full swap? WE have been to house parties and club and meet a lot of really cool people. But it seems that everybody wants to have sex and we are just not into that part. We are still pretty new to all of this, so maybe someday we will cross that line. But for now we just really like the female play. Can we please have some advice on how to find and meet couple that like the female play? We don't mind the guys being around, I just don't do oral on the men. He can play with me as much as he likes. Thanks ~LMC~

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User Details are only visible to members.	Overall, we've done well with finding couples for soft-swap. Most have been full swap couples that played down at our level. One time though, while in the middle of soft swap with another couple, both the male and the female started asking us to full swap. They were on the edge of being pushy. But, we are not the types to be pushed. Understandably though, it took something away from the experience. We understand it's a bit natural for a full swap couple to maybe ask us once while the action is hot... and we are flattered... "Are you guys sure you don't want to do full swap?" But please accept our answer. It is still the old rule of no means no. It is true that when you are a soft swap couple, there are many on here that won't give you a second look. Too bad. It's their loss. Mr. JM
Greenville SC			Username hidden (350 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	GREAT TOPIC! We encounter similar reactions and criticisms. Once long ago in this lifestyle we were convinced that single females and females who were married but played alone were most welcomed. It has not been the case for us. We spell it out in our profile- there used to be a "maybe" for him but not any more. When we attend parties we assume that most have checked over profiles of other attendees ahead of time. We certainly do. No effort is made by them to connect the other female with my husband so my assumptions have been supported. Then comes the reaction when they discover he doesn't participate- doesn't even want to. I don't know why everyone is so dead set on full-swap. If this is about experiencing pleasure then attitudes like that (not saying they are wrong) limit their prospects for play. Most believe that way and not with our pov so we are left to respect those wishes, and to remind them- they're missing out, writing people off...
Pulaski TN			Username hidden (491 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	The only real rule we have is if we're playing in a group everyone plays.... there is not one person be left out. but if it's g/g play and we know it up front.. that's cool after 10 minutes i go to the bar and contiune drinking. or find myself a little play mate.
Lake Worth FL			Username hidden (7209 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Scotty, we are the same way. We can have just as much fun soft swap as we do with full swap. There have been quite a few times we spent the evening socializing and it was a blast. Carrie
Corpus Christi TX			Username hidden (16523 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I guess i dont' get it. We are full swap but enjoy meeting soft swap couples. we're ver adaptable to any situation. If the rules are female/female fine if the girls are into it. or whatever. We look at this anymore as a social event for us. we're just as happy to dance and party meet some people and go home by ourselves. Maybe you're just not partying at the right places. We just like to know the rules upfront, not mid play (like one douche bag couple we met at a club.) they were... the "girls can play, my man can play with your woman but don't you touch my woman". and they didn't tell us that upfront. We just got dressed at left.
Lake Worth FL			Username hidden (7209 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Welcome to the forums Naturistcpl:) Yes, many couples will pass you by and not give you another look knowing your restrictions(wrong words for it really) comfortable limitations is much better, being so...many couples will find your company just right. There are those, ourselves included who full swap that enjoy the company with those who are into watching/being watched. Full swap is not our main goal, but being in a sexually charged environment(whatever that may be) defiantly is though. So do not give up hope at all, look around and ask questions to find out the areas that cater to your needs. Enjoy your time here!
North Highlands CA			Username hidden (3965 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We have been nudists for years and also enjoy hot tubbing. Most nudists resorts we have been at are conservative and don't allow sexual activity including staring. We wanted to add some spice to our nudism and have started going to some swinger clubs. Being fairly new we are ok with watching and being watched with maybe eventually some light touch/fondling maybe oral. We have found though that if you are not into full play/swap people pass you by. Seems there is no in between. Some places we have been the hot tubs have no one in them or sexual activity isn't allowed! We are always up front with our preferences
Observatory PA			Username hidden (1 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We have had the same problem with every couple we have met. They have WILD in their profile but contact us. We are happy to meet with them over a drink and depart thinking they are OK with Soft as our prifile reads. We meet them again at our home for Dinner, maybe just Pizza and drinks then in the pool or hot tub naked and begin playing then all the sudden they say well are we going to f--k. My wife has had enough and wants not to meet couple who say Wild and agree to soft, it does not work.
Cape Coral FL			Username hidden (1 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	2tryingfor4...what you have encountered is annoying at best. We never have encountered what you experienced so far, but we would simply stop what we're doing, thank them for the wonderful time, get dressed and walk away without saying another word. Leaving them to wonder what happened? You don't pull that bait-n-switch crap mid play and expect no repercussions.
North Highlands CA			Username hidden (3965 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Well, unfortunately what my husband said is true, "when you don't, they no longer want to talk, hang out" (meaning when you do not full swap). For the most part, when we meet couples all is great everyone seems to like each other... we are all clear that we are soft swap... meaning both of us play (oral, touch etc...) but intercourse is reserved for our spouse. Not just “f/f play only”, we both play. For some reason in the middle of play the other couples tends to think we are going to magically change our minds and full swap. Quite often, because we do not full swap we are no longer what they want... It is "we like you both a lot but we have decided to go with only couples that are full swap if you change your mind call us" (at least they told us) after saying soft was cool with them, or no replies at all... do not get me wrong, we have meet some really nice couples. It seems to me that it does not matter how honest you are the results 9 out of 10 times seem the same.... Could just be where we live I do not know. That being said though, you should always be honest regardless of what people may do… It shows respect for yourself first and not to mention for all involved. I just wish others were honest about what they expect/want too. lol... I guess he is right "We are the commodity”
Hephzibah GA			Username hidden (121 post)

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TOPIC: Why is it so hard

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