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TOPIC: What is your definition of soft swap
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As usual, Pixie has it correct. Soft-Swap (at its fullest) is everything short of intercourse. But then there are couples who have specific individual rules that restrict it further. We have found that if you have too many rules or complicated rules it makes it hard to find compatible play friends.

I am not saying that if you are on here for girl/girl play with the husbands only watching, that you won't find it. There are plenty of folks looking for that. But that is not the definition of soft swap.

If you have 'your own' definition of soft swap, you need to be a good communicator and make sure in your profile and in contacting others that you state accurately what you're looking for.

It is hard enough for us soft swappers to find play partners. Most of the couples we have been with are full swap but agree to play at our level. And yes, it can be and is really hot.

It is sad, but all the themes on the soft swap threads are 'what does soft-swap mean for you?' or 'Trouble finding couples for play.' They go hours and days without new posts. Whereas anything in the 3-some category or BDSM is reposted regularly. Cobwebs grow on the soft swap threads! Yet soft-swap for us is a way to enjoy a wild encounter but still keeping intercourse exclusive to us.

You can differentiate many levels of play. Here are some for couples, not necessarily in order:

dancing skinny dipping / hot tubbing naked watch be watched body rubbing touching above the waist touching anywhere kissing oral sex intercourse same room intercourse separate room anal intercourse orgy gang

Feel free to add to the list.

Greenville SC
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We are most interested in making close friends, having fun ,, but mixing in just the right amount of sexy spice to make it exciting. Kinda like soup,, with pepper in it.

Fernandina FL
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Ohmysugar,

Couldn't agree more. Our rule of thumb is 'never make a decision with an erection'! :-) Having said that, last time we were together with someone, the whole thing goes out the window! But it was cool and we knew going in it probably would progress past our 'limits'. Neither of us had any second thoughts. It is hard though (pun intended) sometimes. We understand that every couple and experience is different and 'limits' are guidelines, not written in stone. Steve

Wexford PA
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That is definition too! Very well said :-}

Wallingford CT
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OUR definition is basically "Ladies Choice"... the girls can do whatever they please to one another, but the Mrs. is not interested in being with another man. Of course that's not the accepted or dictionary definition, but it's what works for us!

Fairview Heights IL
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For us, it includes everything up to oral minus the actual intercourse. People do have different meanings of soft swap though, so be sure to have a discussion prior to engaging in anything with anyone. This is not something you want to find out in the middle of things. That can ruin your day.....night.....relationship.....lol Have fun!

Orlando FL
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A good soft swap with a hot couple who has their heads on straight, with all the rules and boundaries out in the open, can be amazing! Had a taste of that recently and LOVED it.

Panama City Beach FL
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Ditto again! ;)

Keep in mind, tho ~ while it's important to understand what terms mean to most people, what you're comfortable with doesn't have to be defined by terms. When it gets to the point that it's time to have the talk about everyone enjoys and what the boundaries are, ask about specifics.

Have fun!!

Jackson MS
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Ditto what swinginpixie said.

Hebron CT
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Basically everything except vaginal or anal intercourse.

Panama City Beach FL
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(293 posts)
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TOPIC: What is your definition of soft swap