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What does Moderate mean to you : Swingers Discussion 173271101
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TOPIC: What does Moderate mean to you
Created by: twonluv69
Original Starting post for this thread:
We understand that Soft/Swap isn't everyone's "cup of tea" and that's fine, but for us (as newbies) it suits us to a "T". Having said that, we tend to only seek out folks who list themselves as Tame/Moderate. But we've been chastised recently for "not doing Soft-Swap right". We know what the SLS Preferences tab says Moderate is ("Moderate pleasures such as touching and oral play with others, and anything else short of intercourse with someone other than your partner?") but we were just wondering what are other couples definitions of "Moderate"??

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We know that in this day and age things mean whatever the person wants them to mean (and so it was in Wonderland). The result, of course, is the classic failure to communicate.

We're all on SLS, so there's a reason to use the SLS definitions, and really, they're not bad ones or unhelpful. We don't understand why people on here want to make up their own definitions to communicate with others from here, and then are surprised when things go wrong.

Of course anyone who wants to use his or her own definition is free to do so, or to add to or clarify the existing ones. And it's fine if they do so in their profile or very early on in the meeting process, that is, well before any clothes come off. But given how rarely people seem to read profiles, or how little thought they put into their own, it may not be the best idea to do that.

Kitty Hawk NC
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Only contacting people who list as tame/moderate may unnecessarily limit your options. The options are tame, moderate, amd wild. Couples who only want full swap should list as wild only. We list as all three because we are open to all three. As a matter of fact, the last several times we got with other couples, including at swingers conventions, we did not engage in penetration. We actually prefer manual and oral play, but are open to penetration with the right couple, therefore we list as all three.

Medina OH
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"In the condominium of life: one person's ceiling is another person's floor"

Well said dirtydancersaz, well said!

Fairview Heights IL
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When we consider the use of the word 'moderate' as defined by SLS terms, it is meaningful and precise. We do like to include role-playing with our experience of 'soft swap.' which is an embellishment of the theme and setting.

~~ZZ~~

Treasure Is FL
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Glad to know we're not alone... The full swap couples that have contacted us (and even some of the soft swap couples as well) want nothing to do with us unless they KNOW both of them are getting off. No dinner, no drinks, no getting to know us; just lets meet so THEY can get off. Half the time nobody reads our profile anyway (maybe we should take down our pics so they HAVE to read our profile) while the folks that are more along our lines (Tame/Moderate) are too shy to contact us.

Sorry don't mean to rant but we've put a lot of effort and consideration into our profile (to remove any ambiguity) and try to treat people the way we like to be treated, so it's a little frustrating when folks treat us like part of an equation and not individuals.

Fairview Heights IL
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Here's the thing that we don't think a LOT of people realize...

The SLS "definition" states "Moderate pleasures such as touching and oral play with others, and anything else short of intercourse with someone other than your partner?" but it does NOT specify Male or Female. Mrs. Twonluv is only interested in "touching and oral play with other" women, {nothing wrong with that :-) } but unfortunately most folks take "Moderate" to mean "Hey, this chick is gonna blow me!" Not trying to turn this into a rant, but we just wish that (1) folks who contact us would try to get to know us first and (2) respect our boundaries. After that we could get along with anyone no matter what their preference or experience level is...

Fairview Heights IL
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The SLS definition works for us.

Lake Orion MI
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I think we subscribe to the formal idea of moderate. During a recent encounter we joked 'guess we're moderate now!'.

Steve

Wexford PA
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In the condominium of life: one person's ceiling is another person's floor

Tucson AZ
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We understand that Soft/Swap isn't everyone's "cup of tea" and that's fine, but for us (as newbies) it suits us to a "T". Having said that, we tend to only seek out folks who list themselves as Tame/Moderate. But we've been chastised recently for "not doing Soft-Swap right". We know what the SLS Preferences tab says Moderate is ("Moderate pleasures such as touching and oral play with others, and anything else short of intercourse with someone other than your partner?") but we were just wondering what are other couples definitions of "Moderate"??

Fairview Heights IL
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TOPIC: What does Moderate mean to you