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We are soft swap and having trouble with pressure : Swingers Discussion 1834981061
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TOPIC: We are soft swap and having trouble with pressure
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now you're getting it. hey, at the end of the day, it's your profile and you can do what you like. but remember who you're dealing with here. if the door is open, no matter how small the crack, there will always be those who will think you left it cracked just for them.

it's all good brother. hope you guys have lots of fun! j&k

Orlando FL
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I thought that our profile was so detailed that there wouldn't be any question as to what we were looking for. I have read all of your comments and re-read our profile several times, and I do see that some things need to be fixed. I will talk to my wife this evening and get this thing straight. I was kind of thinking that the MIGht part would never happen. We live in an area that has less than a tenth of one percent Asian population, so when I posted that pretty much all bets were off if you were an Asian female it was pretty much tongue and cheek as there aren't any around here. I'll get rid of that part. I will take the advice that said if you Are soft swap only make sure it is clear. Thanks everyone.

Freeburn KY
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I agree with JK4fun, your profile is confusing, misleading and a train wreck waiting to happen. If you chose to be Soft Swingers than profess that proudly to the world , if things change you can be on the pressuring end of other soft swingers when you change your mind at the last minute. If you want people to abide by your rules you must make them clear ! A very simple fix !

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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are you sure you're reading the feedback you're getting? you say your profile works for you, but that's not what your original post is saying. once again, the profile is contradictory. it clearly states that you MIGHT have sex with other couples. you can't tell people you MIGHT have sex with them and then get upset when they try to take you up on the offer.

what's that old definition for insanity? "doing the same things over and over and expecting a different outcome." if you're not even willing to change the profile to clearly tell people that you will not be having sex with them, then why shouldn't they continue to ask for it?

Orlando FL
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To answer your question "you don't understand why any couple wouldn't want to play with you?" is very simple > If they are a full swap couple that is what they are looking for, many couples ourselves included do not set out to play with soft swing couples as we prefer full swap. For myself I do enjoy a man or a women getting me worked strictly for the purpose of having sex with my spouse , my spouse does a fantastic job of that all by himself. Nor would I be content in that arrangement to have Mr Sav come tap me on the should in the middle of things because he's so aroused he needs to have sex and his play partner has rules against it. I also do not ever want to have to interrupt Mr Sav at whatever stage he might be with his partner because I NEED it RIGHT NOW. That being said it is our preference for the OPTION of full swap , it doesnt always happen that way and that fine but we do not intentionally put ourselves in situations where it isn't even an option. We're a go with the flow couple , where ever that flow takes us. Thats what works for US . There is nothing wrong with your preference at all and no one should ever pressure you into something you are not comfortable with . I am truly sorry that people are not being respectful of your wishes and wish you all the success and happiness you deserve. Stand firm in your desires , no matter what your preference is there are many people that share it.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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We have had some success since I made the original post. We are a bit on the fringe it seems. I guess we assumed that more couples would Be looking for girl/girl. I'm not sure why it us amazing... The line about her playing with males if I asked... She just isn't very interested in males, but she would be happy to put in a show for me if I asked. I get the feeling that some if u may think that our profile seems a bit strange, but it works for us. To date I have only watched and not participated in any activities. My wife is happy I'm happy, someone sent me an email saying I wa just another selfish man using his wife to get laid! Really? She is the only one getting anything, this isn't about me it's about us.

Thanks to everyone who posted advice or made comments.

Tom

Freeburn KY
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I am not sure why you are baffled. Each couple should do what they are comfortable with, realizing that the more rules they have the smaller the field of possible matching couples. You have quite a few limitations/rules, so the number of possible couples will be more limited.

Pottstown PA
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based on the fact that you, as well as other "soft swap" couples posting here, have not responded to comments or questions about your post, i'm not sure you're really interested in getting the feedback you're asking for.

nevertheless, there are a couple of things that have not been mentioned that i think should be. first, keep this in mind. you've chosen to associate yourselves with people who get together to have sex with each other. granted, we're not all playing at the same level. but if you think there will ever be a time, while you are in the LS, when people will not be asking you to have sex, you are not being realistic, and you may need to rethink you're choice to be part of it. it will NEVER change.

second, as for the people wanting to have sex with you, or "pressuring" you as you put it, you've brought it on yourselves. your profile is one contradiction after another, and is also contradictory to what you are saying in your post. "she only plays with females unless i ask her to do more". that is not a rule, that is a statement. when a couple meets you, how are they supposed to know that they don't make that cut unless they ask? "we absolutely don't rule anything out". that is a door you have clearly left open. how can you expect SWINGERS not to try to walk thru it? once they have asked and you have answered, that should be it. if not, they are not worth your time or your friendship.

if you want people to respect the boundaries stated in your profile, you need to start by setting some.

Orlando FL
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My first reaction to your question is that the more limited your boundaries are, the more likely it will be to have to explain them. That is not a criticism, simply an observation. The advice given is correct in that you simply stay true to what you are looking for and if it means weeding through a lot of unwanted emails, that is the price you pay for having a hot wife! WEG

I also saw a question about how to have soft swap with a single male. I have on 2 occasions met with ladies who set the limit at oral sex (giving and receiving). One was for medical reasons (temporary and we plan on meeting again soon) and the other because her husband wasn't present. I understood going in and it was great.

As I state in my profile, I love the flirting and the kissing and touching and if oral is as far as a couple (or lady) wants to go, I am fine with that. The bottom line to me in any situation is as long as both parties agree and understand the boundaries it's all good!

Poland OH
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Definitely understand where you're coming from. The problem is there are too many women doing this for their husband and not for themselves. We have met a couple of people that say they are having sex because their husbands arebut would rather just do soft. We look at it this way, all the touching and licking and kissing leads to incredible SEX. And we want that with each other. If nobody wants to play with us because of that then OH WELL! Their loss!!!!!

Cleveland Heights OH
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TOPIC: We are soft swap and having trouble with pressure