Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMS General Discussions Soft Swinger Success at Soft Swing
TOPIC: Success at Soft Swing
GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4 5 ... More 
Start   11 to 20 of 50   End
User Details are only visible to members.
Nick: Not at all, I am not imposing. I was stating that we have been turned down many times because of our Soft Swap Status. BTW we too sometimes will do less play with couples who are more tamed if we like their personality and are sexually attracted to them etc., Its hard to find a couple that all four sexually click so making modifictations is ok with us even in Soft Swap Style. I never said that Soft Swap is the "norm" I am just saying that in my opinion Full Swap is not necessarily the only way to have fun. Like previous comment stated Soft Swap is better than No Swap. As I said great Soft Swap is better than Bad Full Swap.

MikeKelly: Thanks ;-)

New York NY
Username hidden
(486 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
BriJam, you are certainly entitled to your opinion and your boundaries. I think the tone of your posts makes it sound like you feel full swappers are "pushy" for wanting to full swap while you are just being yourself. I would encourage you to respect that full-swappers who respect boundaries are no different from yourselves with just a different perspective of where to draw the line. Doesn't make either of you right or wrong, just right for your comfort level. You seem to want to "impose" your opinion that soft swap is the norm and full swappers should accept that. Everyone has their own "norm" and as long each respects the others limits, it's all good!

Enjoy!

;^)

Youngstown OH
Username hidden
(12143 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
AGREED MikeKelly

New York NY
Username hidden
(486 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I thought I was discussing in a forum called "success at soft swing". Turns out I still can't have an opinion on this issue without insulting full swappers. I understand your point and your right I wouldn't want to play with a couple whose ultimate goal is to have sex especially if they are pushy and aggressive. As a matter of fact we have discussed full swap and its not completely off the table with the right couple at the right time etc., but I don't like to really announce that. I don't want a couple to meet with us with the hopes that we will full swap since its not a gurantee. In the meantime we are loving the lifestyle Soft Swap Style and I would like to keep enjoying with sexy,fun people who are good in bed regardless for the Swap Status.

New York NY
Username hidden
(486 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Catnip, I commend your restraint and diplomacy.

;^)

Youngstown OH
Username hidden
(12143 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
"We don't turn full swappers down if they are willing to play [soft] with us."

lol Brijam, and I'm sure full swappers wouldn't turn you down if you were willing to full swap. That's my point, really - nothing wrong at all with choosing to draw the line at soft swap for WHATEVER reason(s), but it really shouldn't come as a surprise if that line isn't where other couples want to stop.

Of COURSE you can have fun without full swapping. For that matter, you can have fun just having dinner. I'd rather have a great dinner than bad soft swap. But the reason full swappers may turn you down likely has nothing to do with how good or bad they are at oral. That's like a gay man being turned down by a straight man making the assumption it's because he "doesn't know how to have fun". Can't it just be preference, simple as that, without there being any judgement?


Username hidden
(255 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Catnip, We don't turn full swappers down if they are willing to play with us. I had one couple ask to me, remind them again what soft swap is? Really? Wow I sort of felt like do I have to explain how to have fun without full swapping? I mean if they don't know how to have fun without just sex, I thought well maybe their oral is lame. (their comment was not one inquiring about our rules either, they were being wise asses) We respect all boundaries of course since we are not full swappers then full swap couples have to respect our boundaries if they play with us. But I can tell you we can still have a lot of fun soft swap. I am sure most would agree, I would rather have great soft swap then bad sex.

New York NY
Username hidden
(486 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
brijam you of all couples should understand why full swap couples turn you down since you in effect turn them down lol. You say "Makes me wonder why full swap is so important to them", when they could just as easily ask why NOT full swapping is so important when good sex can be just good sex.

We personally totally respect any soft swinger and have played only soft even with other full swap couples if that's just how the flow of the evening goes. You should be GLAD when people know themselves well enough to know that soft swapping isn't going to "do it" for them, just like full swappers should be glad when you don't full swap with them since that doesn't "do it" for you...


Username hidden
(255 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
We have been turned down many times by full swappers because we are soft swappers. We maybe be soft swappers but we know how to have sexy fun. Makes me wonder why full swap is so important to them. I don't get it. To us just have pounding sex doesn't do it for us. Plus my husband takes good care of me in that department and I don't have use a condom with him. We actually played with a full swap couple, just soft swap, and when my husband started having sex with me while I was performing oral, they didn't even know how to react. Just like anything else, soft swap, full swap--if your good your good-- if you bad your just bad (in bed).

New York NY
Username hidden
(486 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Xtra's experience is not so unique. We have gotten pressure from a couple of full swap couples once we got into soft swapping with them. It's one thing to ask once. But when you hear, 'No Thanks.' it should be respected. It kills the momemt when somebody keeps asking or saying how much they wish you would go full swap. Also, it is risky to be changing your rules during the act.

In one case, I was standing kissing the other lady while Mrs. JM and the other guy were 69'ing on the bed. She took my erection and tried to to climb on it. Then a few minutes later, the guy was saying how much he wanted to fuck Mrs. JM while she sucks me. We reminded them that we were sofy swap. (This is a point they well knew before the clothes came off.) But they kept asking.

It was awkward, but we got them to understand with no hurt feelings. We also realized that it was also a compliment that they were both so turned on to us.

As usual, I am in agreement with lost's post here. Hi there girl!

Greenville SC
Username hidden
(363 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4 5 ... More 
Start   11 to 20 of 50   End
TOPIC: Success at Soft Swing