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Soft swapping with protection : Swingers Discussion 393261021
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TOPIC: Soft swapping with protection
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Personally more definitions are the last thing anyone needs. As cheops210 has said, some of these other definitions are really voyeurism and exhibitionism, because no swapping or swinging of any kind is going on. Playing with your spouse with someone else in the room watching is exhibitionism, unless you’re the one doing the watching when in that case you become the voyeur.

I have no idea how softswap or softswing, which has always been the same thing, got turned into just watching, or being watched, or bi fem play only. It wasn’t until the net came along that everyone started spinning all the definitions of everything to fit where they are at or want to be. In the 20 years we’ve been around softswap has always been everything goes except penetration, that is saved for ones own spouse.

The couples where no one kisses, or only the girls play and guys watch, and every other thing you can think of are personal rules of what they can handle or not handle. These folks have always been around too, and most are fairly vocal about where they are. However, we would still stress to these couples that came to our club, that if they had any such rules, they need to be up-front and in the open about it before they headed off to a party room with any other couple.

Perhaps varying degrees of exhibitionist or voyeur are in order...LOL

Rio Rancho NM
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That's because I haven't got a clue what those "distinctions" would be. Sounds to me like the same thing.

I SAID I was confused over soft swap terminology.

South Riding VA
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Excellent point, Cheops. It's almost like soft swappers need to define DEGREES of soft swap, like, for instance:

1st Degree Soft Swapper: Watch & be watched only, or same room sex with your own partner and no touching of anyone BUT your own partner.

Bi Soft Swap: The ladies can play with each other, but the men can only play with their own partners.

2nd Degree Soft Swap: Kissing and light fondling is permitted with the other spouse, but anything beyond that is with your own partner only.

Black Belt in Soft Swap: Anything goes except vaginal or anal penetration by a man who is not your own spouse.

We have been full swap since Day One too, so we never learned the subtle varieties of Soft Swap. I guess we're confused too.

South Riding VA
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Gotta admit I am confused, just what is soft swap? Doesn't seem to be any sort of agreement on just what that entails. We have been full swap swingers since day one but we always assumed soft swap was everything short of penetration. Now from reading the posts i am learning that there are all sorts of definitions I was unaware of. As to watching and being watched, those activities are voyeurism and exibhitionism, they are not swapping, people do get confused. This is not a criticism of anyones choices, do what flips your switch, but to those of us who are not "soft swappers" we don't know what you are talking about. We might be interested if we knew what it was.

Linden TN
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is that like getting prego from a toilet seat?

Sarasota FL
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I don't think that is swapping is it? What's the point in calling it that? We love to do same room sex with our own spouses, maybe same bed, but if your with your own spouse who cares! Enjoy the moment. Watching people who are truly in love, make love in front of you as if your not even there, is a huge turn on. Sometimes if the girls want to touch and it's agreed upon, then lite touching is fun as well. Just our opinion. B.

Jenks OK
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I think I tend to agree with the opinion that a condom be used. Afterall, who wants to see a hard penis actually touch the soft outer wet lips of someone else? Keepng a barrier there helps to keep it private - but then again, so does hanging a sheet of builder's plastic between the two couples! :-)

These people obviously do not know how to enjoy themselves or perhaps they are jealous of the fact that some couples can actually have sex without condoms for whatever the reason. Maybe one of them has an STD?

Princeton NJ
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Umm, if "soft swap" means you only play with your own spouse, just exactly WHAT is being swapped??? And NOBODY has the right to tell you what to do sexually with your own spouse - unless it's your spouse!

South Riding VA
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Wow Poly,

I have to admit thats the first time I've ever heard that before. We've had some really weird (and in one case downright stupid) requests, but that one would top the list.

I agree with bi couple, you should meet them at some meet and greet, just to see what kind of people they are.

Lexington KY
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Not sure what type of yo-yo would expect that. Perhaps they're worried about cum shots becoming airborne flying across the room and landing on them. Most couples we know in the soft realm of things would never be so silly. Also most couples into soft still have oral swapping and lots of foreplay with all involved and then move on to their own partner for actual intercourse.

We've been around 20+ years and I'm not sure who started the endless stream of definitions for soft play. I think some of it comes from someone reads something online and because its in print takes it as the truth and runs with it. However, the couple you've encounter sounds really out there, and it might be amusing to meet them at some meet and greet just to see what kind folks they are. They might show up with face masks on incase someone sneezes.

Rio Rancho NM
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TOPIC: Soft swapping with protection