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FORUMS General Discussions Soft Swinger So sick of the BS
TOPIC: So sick of the BS
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Doc and Janine,

It's obvious you're not meeting people because of your profile. Even newbies can do better, and often do. Here are the fixes you need to make.

1) Put Doc's age, height, and weight in the "her" information block, and put Janine's age, height, and weight in the "him" block.

2) You have not repeated your age, height and weight anywhere in the essays. This is mandatory.

3) One or more of the essays should be pure gibberish, because no one wastes their time writing anything serious.

4) How are people going to contact you without your phone number and your e-mail address? Put both in there, but put the phone number digits amongst the words so the censors won't catch on.

5) Text uses a lot of bandwidth and slows down the system. Change "you" to "u" and "for" to "4." You can probably think of even more abbreviations. And all that punctuation is a real bandwidth hog. Get rid of it. All of it! Capital letters too, because they use up more space.

6) Has no one told you that the third essay requires the following text: "we only discuss our fantasies in person, and only just before making them come true, particularly the one with the diving horse."

7) Aren't you "just looking around to see what's here"? Then say so!

8) The copyright assertion! How could you forget that? Now we'll have academics flooding the academic professional journals with scholarly articles about your kinky interests. These used to be the lead stories on the nightly news until people started asserting that their data was for their use only.

9) Almost forgot this one. Apparently generosity is a highly valued characteristic for partners, so you have probably forgotten that you'd like to meet people who are "generous."

I'm sure with some effort you can make your profile comply with the above. I can't understand how it slipped through the profile review as it is.

ST

Kitty Hawk NC
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Quite a number of full swappers are fine with soft swap. We're one of them, we did soft with a couple in January and had a great time.

Anyone who tells anyone that "they suck" because their preferences don't match up is an asshole, in my opinion. Would you tell us that we suck because we are full swappers? What if we only did full? Probably not. Are you really encountering people who are outright hostile towards you because of your preferences?

Now... all that said.... has your profile always read as it does now? It's downright vicious.

Winter Garden FL
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I think the labels are also confusing.

For example, we list ourselves as 'Tame', even though we're fine with the girl play getting 'wild'. That's because we don't want to confuse people who are into full swap.

Chesterfield VA
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Doc_n_Janine actually have a valid point. As it's often been said "one person's ceiling is another's floor". We think a lot of the confusion comes from the preferences folks list in their profiles. For example if you're Soft Swap how can you list yourself as "Wild" or (conversely) if you're Full Swap how can you be "Tame"?

We do sympathize with you though, as we've been contacted a few couples that we thought we would be very compatible with (Motorcycling, Concerts, dinner/movies, etc.) thinking we might begin a friendship. But after a few conversations were told that unless they were both getting laid that there was no sense in continuing any further.

Bottom line, you shouldn't settle for anything less than what you're looking for... you won't be happy with anything less. You may have to expand your search beyond your local area to find what you're looking for. But as long as you're being up-front about who you are and honest about your wishes/desires be confident and you will find what you're seeking.

Fairview Heights IL
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I like it all, just the other night the wife and I were talking and I mentioned that I enjoy the soft part of being with a couple more so then have intercourse. There is nothing better then touching another woman's breast or squeezing her butt while we all sit around talking and drinking a little wine. I have always been that way and we both enjoy the conversation we can have with Lifestylers. They are more open and in most cases more honest. They know as we do they aren't going to go out there and tell the world what we do.

Presque Isle WI
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We think people that are ONLY full swap simply dont know how to really play...for them it is simply sticking in a hole. Shit, we can do that anytime...but to find a married couple (real couple) that knows there is more to sex than filling an orifice, that is a prize we look for!

Beaufort SC
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Sweetart you do show on the interest scales that you have a little interest in soft swap and moderate. Maybe you should remove it if you are only interested infull swap.

Beaufort SC
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Maybe you should try Craigslist. Swings go in two directions. Hence the name Swinging.This lifestyle is about swapping partners. The Soft Swap notion is "one sided" depending on your definition. Its called "playing" because it is spontaneous. It is not fun to play sexually when you cannot act natural. There is little arousal when we cannot act sexually with your spouse as we do with each other. That is what the lifestyle is about. Sharing the wonderful sexual experience we have with our significant other.

Tuscaloosa AL
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There needs to be a version of this site for soft swappers only. We keep running into people that say they're ok doing what we're into but they always flake out saying they're not. It's getting old.

Most people here are full swap. The overall mentality is "why should we play at a lesser level when we can get the real thing whenever we want?".

There's really no point in talking about it because the number of people into soft swap is so small here. Even in the soft swap forum we're probably going to get flamed by full swappers saying we suck.

If you're not ok with soft swap, take the "tame" and "moderate" off of your profile and stop getting soft swappers hopes up.

Where are the real soft swappers? Is anyone aware of a network of them here on the site? We'll drive for the right people. Given the low numbers of people we've been finding who are cool with what we're into, we'll drive a long way for the right people... we just need to find them.

Bartlett TN
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TOPIC: So sick of the BS