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FORUMS General Discussions Soft Swinger So sick of the BS
TOPIC: So sick of the BS
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Doc_n_Janine, while your humor is not wasted on us we read your profile a few months back and found nothing wrong with it then (the old way)... but considering you guys live so far away we didn't think you would be interested. I guess what I'm trying to say is this, don't let the lifestyle change you... stay true to yourselves. It's been our experience that Soft Swap couples tend to be more "substance over style" than most folks, and we have always sought out those more interested in forming friendship if only to say "Good on ya'!"

WifeIsN2girls2, congratulations on your success! Your profile is clear, sincere, you show genuine pictures, you have a certification from someone that has met you and you're paid members... if that doesn't say genuine, I don't know what else does?!? We've noticed that you've only been members for a short while though, and while we certainly wish you the best we also hope you guys never experience the level of frustration or "B/S" others have seen.

Fairview Heights IL
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Your profile is clear without being hostile, so I wouldn't expect it would bring trouble.

Look, I know that profile is dripping with sarcasm and wit, but most people only look at a profile for a few seconds before deciding on whether or not it's worth reading the whole thing. If you're going to spend those few seconds seeming like a jerk then it's not going to work out most of the time.

Winter Garden FL
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We thought it was funny as hell to, but to be honest, we didn't read it all to even find out if it you guys were something we'd be interested in.

Maybe a clear delineation for when the sarcasm starts and ends might help with that. Maybe something like <sarcasm></sarcasm> tags.

Just a thought.

We have been incredibly fortunate in our profile. I mean, I'm sure that we get as many responses as we do mainly because of how hot my wife is, but we also get complimented on our profile alot.... so, I guess we just got lucky with out first one. We haven't had any trouble with pushy people, or people who expect more than what we are interested in.

Chesterfield VA
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It's not an objection so much as a "well, HERE's why you're getting the results you're getting." The profile reads like someone who's unhappy and has issues. I don't wish to decipher it all and figure out whether or not it is satire, analysis, etc. We're here looking for sex partners, not research fellows.

Winter Garden FL
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Vabeach,

I didn't think their profile was at all hostile. It was funny as hell -- at least the first three essays were.

In some ways, the profile is an intelligence test. If a viewer takes it seriously, I wouldn't want to meet them either.

You pass the test, of course, so it seems your objection is really to subtle intelligence tests. Or humor.

ST

Kitty Hawk NC
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While I don't disagree with your last statement, I'm not surprised most people won't bother to read the whole frickin' thing.

Good luck with your approach. It's working well for you so far, it seems.

Winter Garden FL
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Yes, we would write to us because we could see the humor, satire, wit and sarcasm in the profile and would be very interested in meeting someone that can mix those qualities with sexuality that would also be willing to play at our level.

If people can't see those things easily enough or tune out before they read enough of it, we're not interested in them. The mind is the sexiest organ of all...

Bartlett TN
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Well, although I'm all for people reading the whole profile, you have one of the longest I've ever seen, and you need to read a *long* way into it before it's no longer hostile.

So you have three types of people viewing it:

1. People who didn't read it at all and just email you anyway. 2. People who began reading it and said "fuck it - these guys are a problem waiting to happen" 3. Other people with a chip on their shoulder who share your frustrations.

How many nice fish do you think you're going to catch with that stinkworm? A lot of "soft swap only" are new couples starting out, and they are going to be completely intimidated by your profile. There is a strong distinction between being clear and honest vs airing your frustrations out there for the world.

Think about it. Would YOU write to you? I sure as hell wouldn't. And we play with soft swappers.

Winter Garden FL
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No, our profile hasn't always read the way it does now. We have tried every sort of angle we could imagine and none of them really make a difference. Since very few people are going to take the time to read a profile (in our experience most of the people that contact us don't read them at all) we really don't care what's in our profile. For the sort of people we are interested in meeting, the profile we have now is perfect. Oddly enough, we're getting plenty of emails from people (local and distant) that just write to tell us how funny the profile is and how many frustrations they share with us regarding experiences in the lifestyle.

We don't contact people unless they have "tame" and "moderate" listed in their preferences or they mention specifically in the text of their profile they are interested in those levels of play. Almost always (if they actually take the time to get back to us) they tell us they are full swappers and aren't interested in playing at our level.

We don't contact people anymore because of this. We just have the profile out there to see if it will attract anyone and if it does we follow up when the situation presents itself.

Bartlett TN
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Doc and Janine,

It's obvious you're not meeting people because of your profile. Even newbies can do better, and often do. Here are the fixes you need to make.

1) Put Doc's age, height, and weight in the "her" information block, and put Janine's age, height, and weight in the "him" block.

2) You have not repeated your age, height and weight anywhere in the essays. This is mandatory.

3) One or more of the essays should be pure gibberish, because no one wastes their time writing anything serious.

4) How are people going to contact you without your phone number and your e-mail address? Put both in there, but put the phone number digits amongst the words so the censors won't catch on.

5) Text uses a lot of bandwidth and slows down the system. Change "you" to "u" and "for" to "4." You can probably think of even more abbreviations. And all that punctuation is a real bandwidth hog. Get rid of it. All of it! Capital letters too, because they use up more space.

6) Has no one told you that the third essay requires the following text: "we only discuss our fantasies in person, and only just before making them come true, particularly the one with the diving horse."

7) Aren't you "just looking around to see what's here"? Then say so!

8) The copyright assertion! How could you forget that? Now we'll have academics flooding the academic professional journals with scholarly articles about your kinky interests. These used to be the lead stories on the nightly news until people started asserting that their data was for their use only.

9) Almost forgot this one. Apparently generosity is a highly valued characteristic for partners, so you have probably forgotten that you'd like to meet people who are "generous."

I'm sure with some effort you can make your profile comply with the above. I can't understand how it slipped through the profile review as it is.

ST

Kitty Hawk NC
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TOPIC: So sick of the BS