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FORUMS General Discussions Soft Swinger So sick of the BS
TOPIC: So sick of the BS
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We're perfectly happy soft swap...and we can be pretty wild :-) We're looking to have fun and like to have sex in front of people, Jess likes playing with girls, she likes playing with guys...The definition of soft is tricky though - is it same room (that one usually gets its own mention), girls play together & guys watch, girls play together and guys play with their lady, girls play together and the soft swap couple's guy gets to bone both of them, everyone gets to play orally together (except the guys doing each other unless they're saying they're bi)? Soft swap can be a pretty broad category just like full swap wild fun is. We just go with the flow and try to take our cues from the other couple - we'll do it all so if a soft swap couple wants any flavor of the above, we're good with that. If they decide they want fucking for all, we're good with that too. All a couple has to do is ask or tell us if they're interested in more than we're all doing.

Westerly RI
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Doc n Janie,

Your profile is funny as hell, esp. the part about people's photos having all their dirty clothes on the floor in the background. I always check out what people leave on their floor to figure out if we want to talk to them or not.

Too funny!

El Paso TX
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Thanks for the advice but the pioint of the story was the rudeness with out even ever meeting the people in real life. And as to say leading anyone on with how our profile reads.....if we do make plans to meet anyone or meet a couple at a club, we let them know we will not change to full swap in the heat of the moment and make sure that is understood. And we have been having great experiences :)

North Fort Myers FL
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We only have one side of the story here.

It's entirely possible that this unknown couple rejected tatcouple for reasons totally unrelated to the fact that tatcouple is soft swap but might be willing to change that for the right people.

Tatcouple: you're going to be treated here and in life in ways you think are unfair. Best thing to do is learn from it and move on. Meanwhile, you've been given good advice to consider.

ST

Kitty Hawk NC
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Let me tell you something us full-swappers have a lot of experience with....

"Soft swappers" who are "looking for the right couple".

The female half hands me a condom and asks me to fuck her.

Husband decides this is not the right couple, or thinks it is, and gets jealous, or can't stay hard, or gets upset over watching some guy cram his cock into his wife's pussy....

Guess what ensues? Language like that says "This is a problem waiting to happen".

Windermere FL
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In my view, Tatcouple1968 was pretty clear in what they wanted. Many profiles are conditional when they say things like “going further depends on chemistry” or that a bi-curious woman would play with other women “in the right circumstances”. The basic lifestyle premise is that no means no and there is no reason to be rude because all parties are not in agreement.

Atlanta GA
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I agree with you completely - note specific to you at the bottom, WifeIsInto....

"It might happen with the right couple" to me says "We're looking for the right couple. Try to be the right couple"

We believe strongly in the concept of "hard rules" and "soft rules". Soft rules are ones that can be discussed at the moment and you're negotiable on. Hard rules are not up for discussion at the time and neither of us may ask for an exception "on the fly". One of our few "hard rules" for instance is condom usage for intercourse. With the right couple, we may one day bend on that rule, but we will have to decide BEFOREHAND if we are willing to bend on it, not ask while standing there with a boner "Is this the right couple?"

So if full swap is a "with the right couple" possibility, I suggest you word your profile to say "We are soft swap for the time being. That may change one day but for now, it's what we're looking for." That's not an invitation to try to change you. So if you think in the heat of the moment you are ready for full swap, you keep it to yourself, stick to your hard rules, and then tomorrow morning you talk. Do you still feel the same way? Do you both wish you'd done full? Well, then maybe it's time to toss out that hard rule.

Note to WifeIsIntoGirls: You may have really liked the event we went to last night in Virginia Beach. It's held about every 6 weeks in a public bar that is open only to our group until 11 and then opens to the public. Good mix of about 200 people, including some you guys might be right for. No pressure, it was fun. If you want to know more email me.

Windermere FL
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I think that what tatcouple describes could be a problem.

If your profile says that you are not full swap, but that you never know what might happen 'with the right couple', than I think you should expect to meet a lot of couples who believe they are the 'right couple'.

IMO, I don't think you can give those kind of hints. I think if you tell people that you are 100% not full swap, then you can't also say that under the right circumstances you'd be willing to break that rule.

We've been in situations before where we might be willing to break some of our rules. But we absolutely don't give any indication o that in our profile.

Chesterfield VA
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When we first started on this site not long ago, we always stated we were not full swap but don't count anything out with the right couple. As we contacted people, joined groups and tried to make friends with nice conversation, seem like one couple got upset and a little rude with us when we said we might not be ones each is looking for in a couple. Well it seems they just decided to kick us from their moderated group because we made friendly, yes they were friendly comments on some of their posts about camping. We tried to bird them and ask why they kicked us out of group but seems like they aren't even decent enough to respond back. Guess what we are trying to say is some full swap couples get so upset and i would assume they think you find them not good enough to full swap with and feel you insulted them. We do not want to say what we would want to say to those type of people but I will say is when the time, couple, male or female is right, we may go for full swap but until then, we love and enjoy soft play and swap with the ones we do connect with.

North Fort Myers FL
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One problem we ran into with getting with soft swappers is that it seemed like every couple had a dude that wanted to fuck the other guys wife but didn't want anyone to fuck his. not just soft swappers but it seems like everyone who says they have rules breaks them immediately

Dyer IN
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TOPIC: So sick of the BS