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So sick of the BS : Swingers Discussion 2123711010
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TOPIC: So sick of the BS
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I agree with you completely - note specific to you at the bottom, WifeIsInto....

"It might happen with the right couple" to me says "We're looking for the right couple. Try to be the right couple"

We believe strongly in the concept of "hard rules" and "soft rules". Soft rules are ones that can be discussed at the moment and you're negotiable on. Hard rules are not up for discussion at the time and neither of us may ask for an exception "on the fly". One of our few "hard rules" for instance is condom usage for intercourse. With the right couple, we may one day bend on that rule, but we will have to decide BEFOREHAND if we are willing to bend on it, not ask while standing there with a boner "Is this the right couple?"

So if full swap is a "with the right couple" possibility, I suggest you word your profile to say "We are soft swap for the time being. That may change one day but for now, it's what we're looking for." That's not an invitation to try to change you. So if you think in the heat of the moment you are ready for full swap, you keep it to yourself, stick to your hard rules, and then tomorrow morning you talk. Do you still feel the same way? Do you both wish you'd done full? Well, then maybe it's time to toss out that hard rule.

Note to WifeIsIntoGirls: You may have really liked the event we went to last night in Virginia Beach. It's held about every 6 weeks in a public bar that is open only to our group until 11 and then opens to the public. Good mix of about 200 people, including some you guys might be right for. No pressure, it was fun. If you want to know more email me.

Chesapeake VA
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I think that what tatcouple describes could be a problem.

If your profile says that you are not full swap, but that you never know what might happen 'with the right couple', than I think you should expect to meet a lot of couples who believe they are the 'right couple'.

IMO, I don't think you can give those kind of hints. I think if you tell people that you are 100% not full swap, then you can't also say that under the right circumstances you'd be willing to break that rule.

We've been in situations before where we might be willing to break some of our rules. But we absolutely don't give any indication o that in our profile.

Chesterfield VA
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When we first started on this site not long ago, we always stated we were not full swap but don't count anything out with the right couple. As we contacted people, joined groups and tried to make friends with nice conversation, seem like one couple got upset and a little rude with us when we said we might not be ones each is looking for in a couple. Well it seems they just decided to kick us from their moderated group because we made friendly, yes they were friendly comments on some of their posts about camping. We tried to bird them and ask why they kicked us out of group but seems like they aren't even decent enough to respond back. Guess what we are trying to say is some full swap couples get so upset and i would assume they think you find them not good enough to full swap with and feel you insulted them. We do not want to say what we would want to say to those type of people but I will say is when the time, couple, male or female is right, we may go for full swap but until then, we love and enjoy soft play and swap with the ones we do connect with.

North Fort Myers FL
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One problem we ran into with getting with soft swappers is that it seemed like every couple had a dude that wanted to fuck the other guys wife but didn't want anyone to fuck his. not just soft swappers but it seems like everyone who says they have rules breaks them immediately

Dyer IN
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The thread is about full swappers who say they're ok with soft swapping that really aren't. No version of our profile has ever illustrated clearly enough to full swappers that we were soft swappers despite our best efforts. For a while, we even had the words "WE ARE NOT FULL SWAPERS" written over and over again for five or six lines in the start of the text, and we'd still get people entering into communication with us that seemed shocked or upset after we talked on the phone that we weren't full swappers.

Here's how it plays out... It has been clear from every version of our profile what we're into and what we're not. Someone gets in touch with us and says they're interested in doing the things we like. Then when we talk on the phone and they start to ask about limits, they seem oblivious to the limits we've illustrated in the profile. They actually seem surprised we're soft swap and aren't full swap and then the conversation is over. Or... they say they're ok with what we do and seem very motivated to meet over several conversations that include our limits but then they change their minds and say they are really full swap and wouldn't enjoy playing at a lesser level.

Our frustrations are with people that say they are ok with our level of play but aren't. Even though we've tried and tried to illustrate what our level of play is limited to in all the versions of our profile, people never pay any attention to it, so we just wrote what we have now because the profile doesn't seem to matter when it comes to attracting people that we're looking for. It seems that nobody reads profiles.

Our profile is the way it is now to attract a certain type of swinger... the type that is interested in more than simple nudity and action. If that's all we wanted we could just proposition strange men and have all we could shake a stick at.

Bartlett TN
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Doc_n_Janine, while your humor is not wasted on us we read your profile a few months back and found nothing wrong with it then (the old way)... but considering you guys live so far away we didn't think you would be interested. I guess what I'm trying to say is this, don't let the lifestyle change you... stay true to yourselves. It's been our experience that Soft Swap couples tend to be more "substance over style" than most folks, and we have always sought out those more interested in forming friendship if only to say "Good on ya'!"

WifeIsN2girls2, congratulations on your success! Your profile is clear, sincere, you show genuine pictures, you have a certification from someone that has met you and you're paid members... if that doesn't say genuine, I don't know what else does?!? We've noticed that you've only been members for a short while though, and while we certainly wish you the best we also hope you guys never experience the level of frustration or "B/S" others have seen.

Fairview Heights IL
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Your profile is clear without being hostile, so I wouldn't expect it would bring trouble.

Look, I know that profile is dripping with sarcasm and wit, but most people only look at a profile for a few seconds before deciding on whether or not it's worth reading the whole thing. If you're going to spend those few seconds seeming like a jerk then it's not going to work out most of the time.

Chesapeake VA
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We thought it was funny as hell to, but to be honest, we didn't read it all to even find out if it you guys were something we'd be interested in.

Maybe a clear delineation for when the sarcasm starts and ends might help with that. Maybe something like <sarcasm></sarcasm> tags.

Just a thought.

We have been incredibly fortunate in our profile. I mean, I'm sure that we get as many responses as we do mainly because of how hot my wife is, but we also get complimented on our profile alot.... so, I guess we just got lucky with out first one. We haven't had any trouble with pushy people, or people who expect more than what we are interested in.

Chesterfield VA
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It's not an objection so much as a "well, HERE's why you're getting the results you're getting." The profile reads like someone who's unhappy and has issues. I don't wish to decipher it all and figure out whether or not it is satire, analysis, etc. We're here looking for sex partners, not research fellows.

Chesapeake VA
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Vabeach,

I didn't think their profile was at all hostile. It was funny as hell -- at least the first three essays were.

In some ways, the profile is an intelligence test. If a viewer takes it seriously, I wouldn't want to meet them either.

You pass the test, of course, so it seems your objection is really to subtle intelligence tests. Or humor.

ST

Kitty Hawk NC
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TOPIC: So sick of the BS