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Handling boundaries with couples - hubby can swap but not wife : Swingers Discussion 96165
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TOPIC: Handling boundaries with couples - hubby can swap but not wife
Created by: drtyltlangel The original post for this thread was deleted.
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When we tested the waters of the lifestyle years ago I did not allow my husband to play at first. We were going to take baby steps, eventually letting him in. In one sense that backfired because he doesn't care for it now and is "inactive" for lack of a better word. It does work and we're both enjoying it. So although we get notes of disapproval, etc. It works FOR US. I'm not saying that it's a common situation.

Pulaski TN
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my husband is not in the lifestyle, but he is always by my side. i have sex with couples and single males. i never ever have to take one for the team.

Vineland NJ
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no one way is the best way to go for everyone. For us if we don't click well enough with them for full swap, we aren't going to be playing with them soft either.

PG

Louisville KY
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We have the same problem. We like to play but the men always wants sex from me. And hubby isn't ready for that part yet...

Chillicothe OH
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We only paly as a couple but we do soft swap and all can have fun. But not only one will have sex and not the other. Soft swapping is all ways a good thing especially on a first time meeting.

Reno NV
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We agree with deeplyshy. Soft soft to us is no intercourse other than with your own partner. People have all kinds of version of what other things you will do from just watching to do oral etc. However to have a couple say the husband can fuck me but the wife is off limits iis not something we would go for. We either all play or we don't play. :-) Mrs Couple

Danville CA
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Our advice is to tell the truth and live with the consequences. Don't take it personally if people are less then interested. Thats a tall order your asking for, and if you become more open in what you are looking for, more doors will open to you. We have been swinging for over seven years and have run into many situations, good, bad and indifferent. At some point fantasy has to meet reality. You have to be willing to meet people in the middle and when that happens you will meet great people in the lifestyle.

Chandler AZ
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Well we only had a situation like this once before. The wife in the other couple and me (P) really clicked very fast and were comfortable immediately. Everyone agreed that we should go ahead and have fun (oral only). N later told me that it was very hot watching me with her. The point of soft swap is that everyone can be as playful as they want. Sometimes everybody is involved, sometimes you put on a show and sometimes nothing happens...it depends on the chemistry, mood and general comfort level between and within the couples. I know that N wouldn't have a big problem having only me participate - she knows she'll get hers eventually....nobody's counting....

Millbrae CA
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I am having the same issues. We are soft swappers as well and we are looking for a couple who understands our bounderies. I think in time we will move on to a full swap but for now only he will be having intercourse with another woman. I of course am all for performing oral sex while he has sex. We just have to find the right people to have fun with. Wish me luck.

Waco TX
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we see nothing wrong with how the two of you play, thats why it's called soft swap.

Newburgh NY
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TOPIC: Handling boundaries with couples - hubby can swap but not wife