When do you drop out of the Lifestyle: Swingers Discussion 1934751041

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When do you drop out of the Lifestyle: Swingers Discussion 1934751041

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TOPIC: When do you drop out of the Lifestyle

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User Details are only visible to members.	No piece of ass for a piece of ash, I take it...
Charlotte NC			Username hidden (544 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	My plan is to drop out when I am cremated.
Northport AL			Username hidden (5 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Jim's comment a few scrolls back about not being attracted to people our age, made me think of the old Groucho Marx line: "I wouldn't join a club that would have me as a member!" My wife and I have discussed this attractiveness issue and how it plays out at our ages. Yeah, when we see other guys in our cohort we are frequently not turned on -- and yet there are other folks who specifically target seniors. Does this signify some fetish we would rather not indulge them in? Jeez --- life is complicated.
Charlotte NC			Username hidden (544 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Very nice comments, sjnet – Yes, I think she is sincere in her position. It doesn’t exactly apply in this situation, but I also agree with your comments that more wives than not are in the lifestyle for the husband’s sake, and wouldn’t pursue it one minute longer if he suddenly decided to hang it up.
Charlotte NC			Username hidden (544 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	My first thought is that if she seems sincere in her desire not to play without him, then she probably really is sincere about it. The thought has crossed my mind from time to time that it would be a pretty sustainable dynamic to find someone in such a situation, hubby can't anymore but she still has needs, and provide an outlet for that energy for someone while still respecting their relationship. It could actually keep them both together and she might not come to resent the situation. But if she was playing just to please him and she wasn't really all that into it (and that is a more common dynamic than some will admit to, in my opinion) then maybe she's just fine with the situation as it is. There are also a lot of people out there who get seriously turned on by seeing their mate playing with another and that could have been a major part of it for her, too. We can think up reasons all day long, I suppose, but in the end it just has to be ok for it to be what it is. If she isn't interested in playing without her mate, then she just isn't and that's ok as far as I am concerned. I guess the whole lifestyle thing is more than just about satisfying our own personal urges for me. There's also a sort of community, a camaraderie of sorts that develops among friends in the lifestyle and we can also be supportive of one another in respecting the desires of others. That makes for a much more sustainable community, in my opinion. I guess its all in how you approach it. If it is just about fucking, then its one thing. If it's also about building a circle of friends that you would like to keep in the long term, then maybe there's a little more give and take that has to go on. I'd say just take her at her word.
San Jose CA			Username hidden (16 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Here's another situation we know of (NOT us and they are not on SLS) -- mature couple and hubby is out of the game because of surgery. He thinks wife who is a bit younger should not be deprived of sex because of his problems. They were long time swingers, but mostly in "open" arrangements. He has no problem with her finding a good partner, but she says -- and seems sincere about it -- that she is not going to play anymore since he can't. Any thoughts on this?
Charlotte NC			Username hidden (544 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	In my case it was the passing of my wife. I left the scene for a while (about 5 years) but now find myself wanting to get back into circulation, though things are now completely different as a single unpartnered male. Many of those we played with have moved away or dropped out of the scene for whatever reason so yeah, I feel your frustration.
San Jose CA			Username hidden (16 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Although we're in our mid 50's, we really don't "go out looking" for fun in the bedroom. We feel more comfortable with the impromtu of getting together. In other words, if the people and timing is right...go for it. The actual age number really isn't a factor (at this point), as the personalities are a more important issue for us. We've become more laid back, but at the same time still enjoy a good night of sex! Tough subject.... Don & Terry
Fairfield PA			Username hidden (207 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	The problem we have today is the same one we had twenty years ago. I have always been interested in women our age while the Mrs has her eye on younger men. She looks younger than her age and has no trouble attracting the male half of couples in their forties. Problem is - the female half is looking for a forty something male ! Therefore mFm threesomes seem to be the norm for us since we crossed over the sixty threshold.
Pensacola FL			Username hidden (25 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Yes, Curious -- and that's part of the double whammy-- years ago, we thought nothing of hopping in the car and driving for hours for a liason with another couple. Really don't like to travel that much anymore for swinging purposes -- and we a haven't run across any playmates in our neighborhood. Jim -- your points (as always) are well thought out. Interestingly enough (and I bet you have the same experience), we have all kinds of inquiries from younger single guys who "love older women!" I tell them: "I do too!"
Charlotte NC			Username hidden (544 post)

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TOPIC: When do you drop out of the Lifestyle