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Late Bloomers vs Lifetime Experiences : Swingers Discussion 1134931031
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSenior SwingersLate Bloomers vs Lifetime Experiences
TOPIC: Late Bloomers vs Lifetime Experiences
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"married at 18 and have been married for over 35 years. "

Why, Gina, you must not be 99 after all!

Jim :-)

South Riding VA
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Wow, it is great to read a topic you can relate to, and find that 1st post and most of the replies could have been written by us. We too have been together for ever, 40 years to be exact, and only lately got into the lifestyle. We wanted the friendship as well as the benefits, and have already formed some better friendships then we have ever had in the quote "vanilla world". We find at times, age is probably a problem with other swingers, but that is their problem, not ours! So, when we do swing, which isn't always as often as we would like, we too are like the little kid in the Candy store, wanting more than is probably good for us or that we can handle, but it sure is fun trying. So far not any bad experiences, and have made the best of friendships that have lasted through moving away from the area, and a lot of ups & downs. So, we would have to say that for these late Bloomers it has been a blast that will hopefully last for some time to come.

Sparta TN
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We were also both young when we married. I hadn't had any other lovers and my wife just had two or three. And we've been happily married for 37 years. Neither of us has strayed, or even experienced serious temptation.

But about a year ago, we decided to see what it was like to dip our toes in the pool. Before long, we were diving off the highest board available!

Our marriage is as strong as ever. We enjoy playing and we enjoy seeing each other pleasuring others and being pleasured by others.

And I find myself, at age 57, having absolute knowledge of several woman who want to get naked with me. It's the first time in my life that I can honestly say that!

We have both opined that we wish we'd started sooner, but that's tempered with the realization that it may not have worked out well at a different stage of our lives. Yes, there are fewer potential playmates for people our age, but we are finding some and have made at least one great friendship through swinging, along with several others that are coming along nicely.

Trenton MI
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We were very young and both inexperienced when we married. About 5 years into our marriage we were discussing if we ever wondered what it would be like to be with someone else. We decided to try it. We have had both good and bad experiences but never regretted our decision. Sometimes we go a few years without swinging at all then decide to meet people again. Each time it's almost like being newbies. Alot of nervousness but fun.

Cape May Court House NJ
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"What we can't understand is why all these married 20- 30 somethings are doing this? You'd think that they would want to explore their own universe first before exploring unchartered waters." We totally agree with SmoothnSexy on this one. When we were in our 20s, we were too busy wasting each other to consider expanding our play to include others. We didn't begin until late 30s, early 40s when we had used up all the moves we knew on each other and were ready to learn some new ones. We initially got into it for variety's sake (at least from the male perspective -- I think this is less an issue for woman). As we have matured, we gravitate toward people that we share some common interests with and that we personally like. If we don't sense the possibility of being friends with others, the sex part probably won't work -- for very long, at least. But that's us and we know that others feel differently. C&H

Charlotte NC
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I got all misty-eyed when I first saw this new forum topic...at last something for us mature folks. We have been in the lifestyle for 25+ years, off and on -- sometimes long gaps because of kids, education, surgeries, etc., but usually with an eye on the scene to see if we wanted to jump back in. We did, 2-3 years ago, after an absence of several years. All this past stuff is interesting, but what about the future? What do you plan to do during your dotage? We would like to see more info on such subjects as "Walker Sex -- or Stand up and be Mounted." Information that we seniors will eventually be able to use! Mr. Chim

Charlotte NC
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Thank you for the thoughtful responses. It's interesting to read the many ways that people approach the lifestyle and there are probably nearly as many variations as there are people who participate.

As to pictures of Kyle, we have some in our personal galleries but none in our public or private ones. We do that for two reasons; As Kyle indicated in his post, we're involved in a six-some with two gentlemen and two ladies and we occasionally, as a group, will entertain additional single gentlemen. Because of that we're not seeing couples at this time. Second, we never initiate contact with any possible playmates.

Straight single men really don't care what Kyle looks like, at least initially, so we only open his pics when it's decided we'll be playing. We also have pics of us together which, besides voice verification, helps show we're serious. When the day comes that we'll start meeting couples and/or additional single ladies we'll need to rethink what pics are in our public and private galleries. Until then, we'll opt for privacy. I've made a couple of other posts about the nature of public pictures and, while it may be surprising, we actually feel we gain more privacy with non-face nudes because nobody except playmates knows what we look like naked.

~ Jen

Fort Lauderdale FL
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We personally include pics of us both when we correspond with people we'd like to get to know better.

As for our swinging adventures: Dan has traveled all over the world, done a lot of pretty exciting and erotic things, and sort of "been there, done that," but had never been married before. I came out of a monogamous 20 year abusive marriage and had never even viewed a porn movie or played with a sex toy...everything "alternative" or adventurous was seen as a threat by my ex husband. So...Dan and I married over 4 years ago and he has provided me the opportunity to experience everything and anything I desire, and he has the benefit of being in a truly loving and secure married relationship and gets to experience everything from "new" eyes.

If you want to read more about us or our experiences, I'm sure you can find examples in my many forum postings...hehehehe.

Happy swinging, hugs, Gina

San Antonio TX
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Great photos, but you really should put at least one photo of the husband on your profile. Many couples won't consider you otherwise.

We were 51 and 49 when we had our first swinging experience, and had been married for just 6 years. A 2nd marriage for each of us.

We have found that swinging couples frequently fall into 2 categories - those who started swinging in their 20s, and those who never started until after they were empty nesters. Like us, these older "newbies" wanted to explore before they got too old and it was too late. Many of those older swingers were high school sweethearts and had been "one and only" for each other prior to swinging. They had a huge curiousity about what sex is like with other partners and intended to find out before they woke up on the wrong side of the grass!

The other category of older beginners are like us - 2nd marriages. For them, I think swinging is easier, because both partners knew when they got married that the other had been with someone else before, so being "one and only" was not an option. Moreover, most 2nd marriage couples had enjoyed other sex partners between marriages, too, before they found each other.

So going in, we knew that the fact that we had been with other partners meant absolutely nothing so far as our love, respect, and dedication to each other. Paula referred to sex with others as "friend sex," which she found enjoyable between marriages. And as she also likes to say, "It's ONLY fucking!"

We were like kids in a candy store for a few years, too. There are just so many new experiences to enjoy for the first time. After a few years you have done most of what you wanted to experience, so you tend to "settle down" and swing less frequently and you get pickier and pickier about your playmates.

At least that's how it was for us.

We play with others less now than ever, but we have really focused in on quality rather than quantity (no more fucking anybody willing at a party!).

Living in a dense metropolitan area, we used to restrict ourselves to playmates who lived within an hour's drive of us (around here that's about 30 miles). But now we put our priority on couples who not only LOOK attractive to us, but whose profiles make them sound like people we would really want to have as friends, even without any swinging (although we want that too!). So now if/when we find a "quality" couple who contacts us first, we will drive up to a few hours to meet them halfway between their home and ours.

We've fucked our share of people. Now we want only those who appeal to us the MOST - and that means what's between their ears is at least as important as what they've got from the neck down.

Jim

South Riding VA
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My wife and I only started playing a little over a year a half ago and we were both over 50. Neither of us had any experience - I won't count a pre-Jen bi girlfriend that I credit for some FMF - and we were both monogamous.

We've been like a couple of kids in a candy store and find ourselves playing, with close friends we've developed, nearly every weekend. We've discussed it a lot and are unsure if our level of play is due to the fact our mature ages have lead us to drop pretenses, whether we might be facing our own mortality, or simply that it's a hell of lot of fun and is so new to us.

We've read a lot of forum posts from people who've been in and out of the lifestyle with breaks while they raised families, built careers, etc., but we haven't encountered any who started later in life as we have. We're interested in knowing if we're an anomaly, and if our level of play at our age is, or if we're typical of late bloomers. We'd love to hear from those who also started late in life as well as those with a lifetime of experiences.

As background, we're financially secure empty-nesters and our weekend time is our own. I'm a workaholic during the week and Jen's slowing easing herself into semi-retirement. We have four regular playmates - two handsome males in their 40's and two stunning lades in their mid-30's - and the ladies will occasionally have an additional single male join us as a seventh.

Kyle

Fort Lauderdale FL
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TOPIC: Late Bloomers vs Lifetime Experiences