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FORUMS General Discussions Senior Swingers Late Bloomers vs Lifetime Experiences
TOPIC: Late Bloomers vs Lifetime Experiences
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Getting ready to hit that 30yr mark together here. And that's just legally married years, we were together a few before that too. Some call it luck, but really, it's effort. And sometimes just plain stubbornness! I think the effort you put into developing and maintaining new / different relationships over the years would equal that amount of effort. Just depends on what life has throw at you, or into you that evens things out. We wouldn't have it any other way, but are open minded enough to know that doesn't work for everyone. Bob

Des Plaines IL
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People can only write from their experiences and it is difficult to see and understand others' experiences when they differ significanlty from ours. Thus the comment about those in their 20's. It may have been made with a bit of jealousy lurking in the unconscious due to the fact that they did not have that fun in their youth.

I have been swinging since my 20's so I do know why you'd do that. It was fun then and is still fun. The largest difference seems to me not when you started, but if you've remained with one person all your life and started swinging with them at some point. All your life could be the 8 years Tort described.

J and I have each experienced a number of serious relationships and now we are youg in our second marriage for each of us. This is very different from having had one marriage/relationship all your life. I can't imagine having that lovely bond with one person because it didn't work for me. And those who have enjoyed that one person bond may not be able to imagine the work and love of building relationships with different people, different relationships that required very different choices.

So I have enjoyed intimate, loving sex in committed relationships more than once, more than twice, more than three times, and have enjoyed swinging in most of those relationships. That must be very different from a long term one on one committment that branches out to swinging later in life. I would love to hear more about what it's like for others who fall into one or the other of these two very different experiences.

Enosburg Falls VT
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I guess I'll chime in here. Following my sexual desires was forbidden from my life until after my youngest turned 18. Most of you know this about me, but I was a single parent. I did not date or even think about men or women until again, my baby became of legal age. My sons encouraged me to find a life for myself. My desires were always there, just didn't pursue them until after the raising of the boys. So glad I did, even though it was later in my life. My first few years in the lifestyle were so full of excitement, fun, getting to know who I was sexually. So, I truly know from my experiences waiting or being a late bloomer was well worth that wait.

Jan

Jerome PA
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All excellent points. And it does really matter about your partner. Dan and I have only been married 4 and a half years, but swinging to us was something we both wanted to try. In fact, I want to experience everything I can with him, as he has opened so many doors of enjoyment to my life!

Licks, good post.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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That was an excellent post, Licks. Like you, I started very young. I was 21 when we started. We've never had a problem separating emotional monogamy from sexual monogamy. I do feel swinging became richer for us later on in many ways. That could be attributed to more time and money though. I think two of the tricks to happy swinging is to know yourself and know your relationship. The ability to do that doesn't necessarily correlate to age.

Saint Augustine FL
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This is a great group. Thank you everyone. I'm glad to see encouragement in here.

Gina...I was going to suggest we just add our states to our names, but I;m in VA which would make me Gina VA, or turned around, VAGina, and I just can't do that one to myself...hehehehe.

Gina from the coast

San Antonio TX
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CurlyBill,

I sent you an invite to a single male friendly SLS group I co-moderate.

~ Jen

Golden Beach FL
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Gina (2) -- after looking at your profile, we don't believe for a minute that you are both 99 years old -- but seeing that the upper range of your age limit is 99 sure makes us wish you lived closer! Great profile, btw -- nice pics and nice sentiments expressed. Mr. Chim

Charlotte NC
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Gina, your advice to CurlyBill was spot on. You are an intelligent and sensuous lady -- listen to this lady, Curly!! Mr. Chim

Charlotte NC
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Curly Bill, I had to read your post twice. I think your upbringing has stunted you, and I would certainly suggest seeing a counselor to undo the baggage this has placed on you. Good luck, and I hope you are able to enjoy sexuality. At this stage in the game, it will be hard for you to initiate sex, but I would also suggest that it will be too big a deal the first time for you now, and you may want to consider a sex surrogate or even pay for it to "get it out of the way," so to speak so that so much importance won't be placed upon the first time.

That same upbringing would certainly also frown upon masterbation, so I don't quite understand the concern with "waiting." If it's a religious thing, then that will be difficult, but NOT impossible to overcome.

I'm sure there are lovely ladies who would gently show you the way. Good luck, and I think you are very brave for being so honest as to share your post with us like that. I hope people will be encouraging and not critical.

G.

San Antonio TX
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TOPIC: Late Bloomers vs Lifetime Experiences