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TOPIC: AARP_crowd***Happy_thought_of_the_day
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That's cute, Tom!

KJ, I liked your last joke here so much that I shared it with my mother's group of elderly friends (women and men) at her birthday party yesterday. They roared with laughter! Thanks for sharing it.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Todd hadn't seen his elderly grandfather since his grandmother passed away a year ago. He decided to pay him a surprise visit. He walked 6 miles in the summer sun. The grandfather was so excited to see him. They chatted a bit. Todd ask: "Well, how are you doing Grandpa"? Grandpa said: "Pretty good I guess. Since your Grandma passed my social security has been cut in half. My sewer system is not working like it should and my hot water heater is on the blink. I don't have the money to get everything fixed".Then the grandfather said: "You walked a long way in this heat. Can I get you something to drink". Todd said: "I would love a glass of water". The old man returned with the glass of water and Todd said: "Grandpa, this glass looks dirty". Grandpa said: "Don't worry about it. It's as clean as cold water can get it." After chatting some more Grandpa ask: "I have dinner on the stove. Are you hungry"? Todd said: "Starved". As grandpa was setting the table Todd said: " Grandpa, these dishes and silverware look greasy and nasty". Grandpa said : "Don't worry about it. it's as clean as cold water can get them".

After dinner Grandpa said: "I need a smoke. lets go to the back yard". Upon exiting the back door the pair were met by a beautiful golden retriever. Todd said: "Grandpa, I didn't know you had a dog". Grandpa said: "I got him after your Grandma passed away to keep me company". Todd said: "Really? He's beautiful. What's his name"? Grandpa said: "Cold water".

Seguin TX
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guuuud one, KJ!

Bridgewater NJ
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LMAO!!! You blindsided me with that one KJ. I didn't see that ending coming at all.

Seguin TX
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Kelly GOOD ONE

Ronkonkoma NY
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A woman and a baby waited in the doctor's examining room, waiting for him to come in.

The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and commented the baby wasn't gaining enough weight. He then asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Breast fed," the woman replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did.

He pressed, kneaded, and pinched both breasts for a while in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is hungry. You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma ... but I'm glad I came."

Clemmons NC
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Didn't see that one coming....creative ole' man

Clemmons NC
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An old man had owned his farm for many years. On the back side of it he had a beautiful pond built. It was perfect for swimming, had a picnic table, a horse shoe and volley ball court and apple and pear trees. He hadn't been to his pond in quite a while. He picked up a 5 gallon bucket to carry fresh fruit back home in and headed for the pond. When he got there he heard giggling and laughing and found several young women skinny dipping in the pond. He cleared his throat to make his presence known. The young ladies quickly swam to the opposite end of the pond. One of them yelled: "We aren't coming out until you leave". The old man held up the 5 gallon bucket for them to see and said: "I didn't come here to watch you young ladies swim naked in my pond. I came here to feed the alligators.

Moral of the story... Even an old man can think fast sometimes.

Seguin TX
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Two years ago I was sitting on my front porch drinking a cold beer. I was enjoying the view of my much younger, beautiful, bikini clad girlfriend mowing my lawn. The old woman next door came to my fence yelling and shaking her fist at me and said: "You should be hung!!!"

I smiled at her and waved and said: "I am. That's why she is mowing my lawn!!"

Seguin TX
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@Nudist: Keep em cumming! LMAO

Vero Beach FL
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TOPIC: AARP crowd***Happy thought of the day
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