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TOPIC: AARP_crowd***Happy_thought_of_the_day
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KJ, You're priceless. ;-)))

Seguin TX
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*snort*

good one, KJ!

Bridgewater NJ
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And Tom, I did not see that coming either.....good one. Scandle - your moms a tad naughty too, apple doesn't fall far .......LOL

A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on their wedding night. She looked at her husband and said, "Honey, do you remember this?"

He looked up at her and said, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."

She said, "That's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"

He nodded and said, "Yes dear, I still remember."

"Well, what was it?" she asked. He responded, "As I remember, I said, 'Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big tits and screw your brains out.'"

She giggled and said, "Yes honey, that's exactly what you said. So, now it's 50 years later, and I'm in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?"

Again he looked up at her, and he replied, "Mission accomplished."

Welcome NC
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That's cute, Tom!

KJ, I liked your last joke here so much that I shared it with my mother's group of elderly friends (women and men) at her birthday party yesterday. They roared with laughter! Thanks for sharing it.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Todd hadn't seen his elderly grandfather since his grandmother passed away a year ago. He decided to pay him a surprise visit. He walked 6 miles in the summer sun. The grandfather was so excited to see him. They chatted a bit. Todd ask: "Well, how are you doing Grandpa"? Grandpa said: "Pretty good I guess. Since your Grandma passed my social security has been cut in half. My sewer system is not working like it should and my hot water heater is on the blink. I don't have the money to get everything fixed".Then the grandfather said: "You walked a long way in this heat. Can I get you something to drink". Todd said: "I would love a glass of water". The old man returned with the glass of water and Todd said: "Grandpa, this glass looks dirty". Grandpa said: "Don't worry about it. It's as clean as cold water can get it." After chatting some more Grandpa ask: "I have dinner on the stove. Are you hungry"? Todd said: "Starved". As grandpa was setting the table Todd said: " Grandpa, these dishes and silverware look greasy and nasty". Grandpa said : "Don't worry about it. it's as clean as cold water can get them".

After dinner Grandpa said: "I need a smoke. lets go to the back yard". Upon exiting the back door the pair were met by a beautiful golden retriever. Todd said: "Grandpa, I didn't know you had a dog". Grandpa said: "I got him after your Grandma passed away to keep me company". Todd said: "Really? He's beautiful. What's his name"? Grandpa said: "Cold water".

Seguin TX
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guuuud one, KJ!

Bridgewater NJ
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LMAO!!! You blindsided me with that one KJ. I didn't see that ending coming at all.

Seguin TX
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Kelly GOOD ONE

Ronkonkoma NY
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A woman and a baby waited in the doctor's examining room, waiting for him to come in.

The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and commented the baby wasn't gaining enough weight. He then asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Breast fed," the woman replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did.

He pressed, kneaded, and pinched both breasts for a while in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is hungry. You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma ... but I'm glad I came."

Welcome NC
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Didn't see that one coming....creative ole' man

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TOPIC: AARP crowd***Happy thought of the day
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