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FORUMS General Discussions Senior Swingers AARP crowd***Happy thought of the day
TOPIC: AARP crowd***Happy thought of the day
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LOL Scandle. I doubt that. I'm not that impressive nude I assure you. They sure didn't stay long and haven't been back. I now keep a pair of shorts handy.

Seguin TX
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Great story, Tom! They probably were praying for the strength to go on with their calling and wondered why the hell God was testing them this way! LOL

Tucson AZ
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Awkward Moments.

As my "user name" implies, I'm a nudist. I'm respectful with this practice considering the time, place and circumstance. I wish to offend no one. As the weather is warming up I'm reminded of an incident that happened last summer. We live way out in the country on a dead end road. Very secluded and private with a long driveway. We seldom have unexpected guest. When I'm home alone I'm usually nude. Last July I was outside on the back side of the house. As I rounded the corner headed toward the driveway I was met face to face by two unknown and unexpected women. I dashed inside and put on a pair of shorts. I came back out to see what they wanted. One of the ladies ask me if I believed that there would ever worldwide peace without crime or violence. I said "maybe but not in my life time". I lady handed me a pamphlet and said " we at the Jehovah Witness Church do. Have a good day". And they left. The pamphlet had messages and quotes from the Bible.

I'm not being sacrilegious here, but I'm sure there were some prayers said over this encounter. I'm just not sure if they prayed for my soul or my damnation.

Seguin TX
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LMAO KellyJean. That's freaking funny!!!!!

Seguin TX
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A little old lady, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop.

Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles across the store to the counter.

Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk, “Dooo youuuu have dilllldosss?”

The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies, “Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models.”

The old woman then asks: “Doooo youuuu carrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk…aaand rrunns by bbaatteries?”

The clerk responds, “Yes we do..”

“Dddooo yyoouu kknnnooww hhhoww ttooo ttturrrnn iittt offff?”

Kernersville NC
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I guess if the "little guy" was well hung it wouldn't be a total loss.!!!!!

Seguin TX
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This is an old St. Patrick's Day joke But still funny!! On St. Patrick's Day a few older ladies were playing a round of golf. One of the ladies was having a real bad day at the game. On the 3rd tee she hit her ball way out into the woods. She told the other ladies to finish the game, but she was going to go find her ball and go back to the country club for a drink and she would meet them there. When she got into the woods she saw a little guy, dressed in green, holding her golf ball. He said " are you looking for this"?? She said "yes, that's my golf ball". She said "what are doing out here and why are you dressed like that"? He said "I'm a leprechaun. I live out here." She said "bullshit. Give me my ball". As he handed it to her she grabbed him in a bear hug. She said "I have you. If you are a true leprechaun you have to grant me three wishes". He said "That is true. What are your wishes"? She chuckled. "I want a mansion, complete with servants, 4 car garage with high end cars". The little guy in green pulled out a note pad and wrote a note and handed it to her. He said "this is the address of your mansion just as you have requested." "What is your next wish"? She said "I want 10 million dollars tax free". He scribbled another note and said " here is the number to your Swiss bank account as you requested. Tax free." She noticed that the little guy was crying. She said "why are you crying"? He said " I live in the woods and grant people wishes but can't have my own wish". She said "what is your wish? I'm now rich. I will give you my last wish." He said "I want to have sex with you". She said "NO WAY, I don't even know you"!!! He started crying even more. She felt sorry for the little guy and said "What the hell. You made me a rich woman. I'll grant you my last wish". She pulled down her pants and bent over a stump. When the little guy finished he rolled over and lit a cigarette. He said "Lady, how old are you?" She said "61, why do you ask"? He said "And you still believe in Leprechauns at your age"?????

Seguin TX
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Thanks Scandle. I'll take your word for it. Carson got sued for a lot of stuff that he said but I'm sure he was smarter that that.

KellyJean, I'm sure he didn't think it was funny at all. But I sure did. I bet he kept his mouth shut after that remark. I'm curious how the rest of his game went.

Seguin TX
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Thanks Tom, imagine he didn't find it quite as funny !!

Kernersville NC
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Tom, that's a funny story but it has been declared false by snopes dot c om. You can look up the details there.

Tucson AZ
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TOPIC: AARP crowd***Happy thought of the day