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FORUMS General Discussions Senior Swingers AARP crowd***Happy thought of the day
TOPIC: AARP crowd***Happy thought of the day
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Oh When the Saints Go Marching In .....Oh When the Saints Go Marching in...

May not be exactly what the originator of this song had in mind BAHAHAHAHa

Kernersville NC
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I will certainly smile with you when the church bells ring but I'm gonna hide UNDER the bed when the ice cream truck rolls through the neighborhood! :)

froggy

Fort Worth TX
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Sunday Morning Sex

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.

" She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

If you do not laugh at this, then you are seriously depressed,

make a doctor's appointment.

I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling. :)~

Kernersville NC
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Wife comes home from her gynecologist and says to her hubby "bad news, the gyno says no sex for two months" the husband replies "what's the dentist say?"

Painesville OH
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KJ, I love the confession story. That had me cracking up big time. LMAO ..............................

Milford DE
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KJ, I got the same leaflet. Unfortunately, the US Mail made a big mistake. It was addressed to someone with my same name but the zip code was for another state. Oh well, I live at 979 anyway.

HT>>> It's Father's Day and I have been extremely bless with lots of well wishes from so many wonderful people.

Seguin TX
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SEX AT 68

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 68.

I'm so happy, because I live at number 72. So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.

And it's the same side of the street. I don't even have to cross the road!

Kernersville NC
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An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren, and last night I had an affair. I made love to two 21 year old girls. Both of them. Twice."

The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?"

"Never Father, I'm Jewish."

"So then, why are you telling me?"

"Are you kidding? I'm telling everybody!"

Kernersville NC
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HT>>> I'm back from a 4 day weekend with wonderful SLS friends. It was awesome. Now catching up on my SLS reading with you wonderful folks.

BREAKING AND ENTERING.>>>

A burglar broke into an 86 y/o woman's home. He tied her to the bed and had sex with her. He then started collecting her valuables.

He had sex with her again and then collected more valuables.

After having sex with her again he ransacked the house and said "Ok lady, where do you keep your cash?"

The little O'l lady said: "Young man, I don't carry cash. But, if you will have sex with me one more time and untie me, I'll write you a check."

Seguin TX
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Justifiable homicide:

Your honor, I am 86 years old.

So here I am,sitting there on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sits beside me.

He starts to rub my thigh, and it feels good, Your Honor. So I don't stop him, and he begins to rub my old breasts, Your Honor.

Why, Your Honor, I haven't felt that good in years! So I just spread my old legs and say to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"

He yelled, "April Fool" and that's when I shot the Son of a Bitch

Kernersville NC
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TOPIC: AARP crowd***Happy thought of the day