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TOPIC: AARP_crowd***Happy_thought_of_the_day
Created by: fingerfuxs
Original Starting post for this thread:
If your happy and you know it flash your boobs :)

It's a pretty simple thread, Golf, Discounts, Parneting moments, Grand Parneting moments.......What ever your happy thoughts are that you might want to share :)

Looking forward to reading some.

Mayhem formally know as the poster that fucker !!!

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LOL. As I stated "a legend"!!!!!

Seguin TX
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Tom, if these two had been her grandparents - that poor mom would not have so much explaining to do:

Johnny asks grandpa: "Do you still have sex with granny?"

Grandpa says: "Yes, but only oral."

Johnny asks: "What is oral?"

Grandpa says: "I say fuck you, she says fuck you, too."

Clemmons NC
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LOL KJ. You are a legend with your sense of humor. A "Masterpiece".

7 year old Susan was spending the week at her grandparents house and having a great time. She loved her grandparents so much. They were so loving. Sunday night, 10:30, she was awakened by pounding on her grandparent's bedroom wall. Then things got quiet. She picked up her cellphone and called her mom crying:

Mom: "Hello Susan are you OK?". Susan: "No Mom, I think Grandma and Grandpa just died". Mom: " why would you think such a thing? They are both in good health. what is going on?' Susan: "well, we went to church this morning. The preacher talked allot about the stairway to the heaven above and what it would be like to get there. Tonight I heard Grandma scream "Oh lord, I'm coming." Then I heard Grandpa yell Jesus, me too". Then Grandma said "I'm seeing stars Don't stop, we are almost there." "Then there was moans and groans and then total silence." "Grandpa and Grandma aren't even snoring. "

Seguin TX
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An elderly looking gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well-looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.

Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady.

The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

Clemmons NC
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Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and probably have a present for me. As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any happy birthday.

I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will remember. The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Karen said, "Good morning, Boss. Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better that someone had remembered. I worked until noon, then, Karen knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. "Let's go!" We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable" "Sure!" I excitedly replied.

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ----- followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there-on the couch-naked

Thornton CO
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*snort!*

Bridgewater NJ
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Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of to paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.' Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will this take?' I asked. They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies. I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?' Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your ass, didn't it?' He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw. Stupid, stupid man.

Clemmons NC
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Seniors Bus Tour For all my "senior" friends, and you "young'uns, who someday will be seniors too!! A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times... When she is about to hand him another batch again ....he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'. 'We can't chew them because we've got no teeth', she replied. The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?' The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'

Thornton CO
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i drive to montauk. you on the way do the atta girl through eastern wrong island. lunch in hamptons. another atta girl on way back. then you get a atta boy on your newly stained deck in the sunshine.

Thornton CO
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WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME ?

Ronkonkoma NY
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TOPIC: AARP crowd***Happy thought of the day
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