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new to all this have some newb question : Swingers Discussion 75324
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TOPIC: new to all this have some newb question
Created by: edein
Original Starting post for this thread:
How do you know if the other party is telling the truth when you ask about STD? I'm guessing you just have to take their word for it, but is there anything else I should know? any kind of secret hand shake? Is it good or bad if they dont have certifications?
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Alternatively, if you're all that hot and horny, you could go ahead and have sex before getting any test results back, though it should be understood that this puts everyone's health at risk if one of you is infected. However, if none of you are infected, then there is no risk of an STD to start with, and getting tested can help give yourself, and others a little bit of peace of mind that you are at least relatively safe to be with. So just be sure to use condoms because you never know.

Charlotte NC
 
 
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So with that in mind, I'd suggest offering to get tested with any prospective sex partners. That way you can do due diligence in protecting yourself, and everyone else from STDs. You know when and where everyone got tested because you were all there in support of one another. Wait for the test results to come back, and if necessary, wait through the "window periods" in order to get reasonably accurate results, and then have sex. Consider the time you have to wait for any meaningful test results as time to get to know one another.

Charlotte NC
 
 
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Doing your best to make sure the people you have sex with don't have any STDs in the first place (through test results), and then using condoms too (just in case the test results weren't accurate for some reason), can significantly reduce your risk of catching one. The main thing to take into consideration when doing this is how will you manage "window periods" for various stds as some tests will only detect infection if a certain amount of time has passed. Then there is the issue of whether you're willing to be tested yourself. Its almost hypocritical to expect that someone should have, or get test results if you are not willing to yourself.

Charlotte NC
 
 
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Here's an idea, while there is no such thing as safe sex, there is a such thing as safer sex. So why don't you, and people in general for that matter, just limit your sexual activity to those who are willing, and able to show that they have been tested negative for STDs?

Charlotte NC
 
 
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D and J, I totally agree with you on the HSV. I believe most ppl carry that virus. Luckily a lot of ppl never have symptoms. I get sores on my mouth only, and after twelve years my husband has never had one anywhere.

Woodland CA
 
 
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The only safe sex is no sex.

Scotty, you KNOW that!

The incidence of HIV in swinging is very small, but you should always be comfortable with what you do and never let anyone push you beyond your comfort level. The man was no man to be angry at your request for condoms.

HSV has infected most adults and certainly most swingers. Few know they have it, but most are infected, according to CDC studies. HPV is also very prevalent.

Enosburg Falls VT
 
 
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Lol@nowthat'sfunny

Littleton CO
 
 
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lol@secret handshake

Rochester NY
 
 
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Good for you popy64...stick to your guns bra no matter what when it comes to insisting others wear condoms. It's not an absolute against everything all the time, but with selective swinging, it greatly increases your chances of dodging a bullet.

Littleton CO
 
 
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We are new to this lifestyle also. My wife selected a "Friend" to join us Saturday night for our first time. She was very excited, but she said the only thing was he was not comfortable wearing a rubber. He said he was clean and there was not reason for us to be concerned. My Wife and I discussed this and decided that safe sex was a must. He really could not be absolutely sure he was clean, especially if he was not practicing safe sex. When my wife called him to tell him safe sex was a must, he was offended and backed out. My opinion is f...him. Only problem is my wife is really bummed. I guess we need to get on the horse ASAP! Anyone have a reason why we should have let this guy go bareback. I don't think so.

Brick NJ
 
 
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TOPIC: new to all this have some newb question